All Comments on 'Losing a Bet'

Good story but you badly need an editor!

A psychologist is in Jerome's future, and that shrink better be woman because she'll be from the only gender able to understand what happened here.

Wow!!! A 5. Definitely.

Talk about seduction! Jerome finally gave in after repeated attempts by his mother-girlfriend were thwarted by his overwhelming fear. The capitulation did cure his speech impediment, by the way.

DAMN, I REALLY GOT INTO IT! I COULD EVEN PICTURE WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE, JUST LIKE MY SEXY SECRETARY WHEN SHE WAS SPRAWLED ALL OVER MY DESK AFTER I'D CATCH HER BREAKING ONE OF MY RULES. I THINK SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE!

And your writing makes her so believable, so alive. Someone should learn from you.

Thanks Randog and Deunan.

But it kind of turned me off with her fucking his friend first.

So the mother is supposed to remain celibate? If that turns you off, well... shrugs.

what a build up, wow. I hope we get to read what happens when they move and live as a couple.

Hour long on his first time? Im 50 and I cant do that

You really need to slowly re read your stories before you post them.

Obliviously is not obviously.

It should be kneel not knell. These are the only ones I remember without reading it again.

Too many people pointing out too many mistakes.

Who paid off the bet, Jerome for losing the bet or Maya for sabotaging him?

You tell me jneric.

This is a very good story have you thought about doing a second chapter about what happens when they get to DC

I loved the story and I hope there's more. Maybe after they move to DC, Maya is pregnant and her sister comes to her asking for help with her messy divorce and catches them fucking. She asks if she can have some too and they both agree. After they've finished the two sisters are talking and Maya invites her and her daughter to stay with them and she agrees. Then the sister tells Maya that she's worried about her daughter because she's never even looked at a boy. But they find out that it's because she has eyes only for her cousin/half-brother Jerome and they decide to have him take her cherry and get her pregnant.

good overall story but the ending was just rushed.

with all the little interactions between the character you chose such a "stroker" kind of ending. sad really.

what I imagined the end would've been:

fucked her, fucked her more in the bedroom, sleep, he sleeps in finds a note and money for the guys to payout. hangout with the friends again, out of nowhere he just pays the guys, he gets cheers and high-fives but also has to pay with the money. (uncertain about his emotional status because of the note (whatever might've been in there), says his "goodbyes" to his friends, late afternoon early evening going to his moms office. confronting her about knowing about the bet or something.

and he "punishes" her by fucking her in the office like he imagined in the elevator ride up/think it was kinda her fantasy too.

end words : they won the lawsuit, moved to D.C. and live as girlfriend/boyfriend- husband/wife together in the suburbs

that I imagine would have all the loose ends of the story tied up.

rushing to an end with the story and not taking care of those "loose ends" feels kinda lazy. sorry.

anyways it was a fun story.

Inreally liked the storyline. Though a rip off of the film 40 day 40 nights it was still a good erotic version. Only thing is I felt the story was rushed a bit it. The teasing by the mother resulted in the handjob/blowjob way too quick in my opinion. I know you dealt later with it by having the time jumps bit felt it could have been stretched a bit more. Also would love to read more of the story in more parts when they hit DC.

Another story I forgot to review. Like I said this is the third time I've read this and it never gets old for me. Maybe a little rushed from her teasing him and them on the deck but Damn it was good.

She fucked Kyle first? Wrecked the story for me.

So… how much does she really love Kyle? Don’t know why that was put in there, just makes her a slut and an hypocrite.

"So the mother is supposed to remain celibate? If that turns you off, well... shrugs".

There's a big difference between staying celibate and screwing her son's childhood friend.

Seems she was working for Kyle. And why would Kyle add her to the list of ambushers? Seems he knew something.

His first fuck was for an hour, really. He should be in the Guinness book of records. I would’ve thought he would’ve popped after 30 seconds. Still not a bad story.