All Comments on 'Loud and Clear!'

"They are not related to me, but they are the only relatives I have" Sentences like these are memorable, I admit. Of course you see that the first half excludes the second. I liked the story, but it seemed a bit too long for my taste. Nevertheless, I gave you 3* for it. Thank you for writing it.

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I really liked the premise and ideas in this story, the dialogue and some of the words and spelling need the help of an editor.

Keep writing,you have great potential for writing smart stories and I like to read smart stories.

Beyond puzzling why this is in Loving wives, it is an excellent story. It grips me and keeps me interested in the next paragraph. I suppose some of the grammar isn't all that pure but the differences usually occur in conversation and none of us really speak all that grammatically.

Thanks for writing, I only wish you could had more details in the epilog.

After reading this my head just hurts.

there the main character actually went through a week of humiliation after being married for many years. His wife even sought his permission and slept with a teenager that week. The husband accepted it. The reason being he slept with a married woman i.e., judy when he was young and he had to face the consequences and follow that tradition. truely disgusting. then he fucked his wife as if to reclaim her and told her never to invite anybody in future. what an asshole. I thank you so much for coming up with this rewritten story. I wished few things were different though like even if he resisted and went on with his life, he had make those dumb asses to stop that disgusting thought of continuing that shit tradition.

Reminds me of "No Reply", which is what I believe was the basis for this tale, only a lot better.

5 Stars.

there NEVER was an 18 year old kid that talked this way, especially in New York City. I think you wrote his dialogue trying to make him sound wise beyond his years. OK, but instead it just comes off too unrealistic and distracting. I also read the story that this one was based on (there seemed to be a couple of versions of it, and they ALL owe a debt to "the Graduate" movie from the 60's). I actually liked the idea that the teenage boy would react in the negative to being seduced by an older women, especially if she was an "adopted family" member, with questionable looks and intentions. Although hormone driven, it DOES seem much more natural for a boy to be attracted to a girl his own age, and repulsed by a seemingly incestuous liaison. That said, the dialogue used ruined the story for me. It was as if you had to convince the reader that this boy was indeed as freakish as his parents revealed themselves to be, if he were to turn down sex of any kind, and used the big "college" words to justify that position. Again, the effect on the story was less enlightening then it was distracting. OK, I was a kid that peers would accuse of using big words to try to impress others with my intelligence. However, I don't think ANYBODY could have these kind of emotional conversations so eloquently, and so naturally, and STILL sound devoid of true emotion and angst. Sure, we feel his FRUSTRATION, but all the big words in the dictionary-like dialogue never adequately convey his pain. I am still trying to decide if it was the author's intention to moralize with the irony that (despite his parents living a lifestyle that he rejected), they were exactly right in knowing that what their son needed most was to lighten up and just get laid! Oh well, I do agree with another commenter that it IS nice to read intelligent authors on this site, and that you have given us something to think about even with this updated version of an old story today. Thanks!

Interesting idea but the stilted way the characters spoke to each other make it a chore to read.

I am in the middle of the story, but I give my 5***** now. Good story idea. Luckily I have a similar story plan on this genre, but my story plan's plote a little other way........So I need not to give it up my story plan...........

you a four not a one. My only problem is the person who said there never was an 18 year old who would act this way what an idiot. Lots of kids are smarter then you would give them credit for only the ones now whose parents want them to remain kids forever and ruin them because when they finally get to make a decision they are useless.

Naturaly I agree the boy reacted as he would have been 7 years older. However I met similar ripe 18 years old human. It may be 5-10% such mature thinking among the same years youths, so they are not impossible to be. Other thing the Literature genres are not ONLY 100% true story types. Yes the story was an excellent Fable story with a good built up situation and the Author expounded very well the Fable story.

??

Clash of values,the parents are slut with open marriages the son has a clear cut sense to reject that lifestyle-so that's it.

Of Harddaysknight's "No Reply" in which a young man is sent to an older woman for an "education" in sex. An alternative has already been written. Both the original and the alternative were from the POV of the husband of the older woman. This version is from the POV of the boy.

Although having the boy turn down sex and also disown his family is interesting, his thoughts and dialogue come across as prissy.

If the original "No Reply" left you unsatisfied, I doubt that this version will make you much happier. While it is true that the conspirators are punished by the loss of their son's love and respect, no lesson really seems to have been learned. Neither the aunt or uncle (the cuckold) or the young man's parents have changed.

Relocated from rural Pennsylvania's Delaware Valley to NYC/Long Island and changed from an unwilling cuckold to some sort of open marriage/swinger ,

Lifestyle, the concept loses it's edge.

Of course, few writers can beat HDK at his own game.

Sorta like Bud Abbott and Lou Costello's "who's on first."

Not sure who is more despicable...sanctimonious asshole or shameless degenerates! Who fucking cares? Not me! Not going to re-read this one ever! A Boner Breaker!

Given what it is, it is not badly done! Our Hero IS willing to work and walk longish distances. Pity LIT does not have a Downer category!

3* (A 5 in Downer, though!)

nice style. but the story pisses me off , so 2 stars for the plot. how can you consider this erotic ? again a bunch of wannabe adults who destroy the sound future of a kid or kids for nothing. with nothing I mean sex. not that sex is nothing but in 80 years of living the average human beeing has between 2 and 3 weeks sex.

so sex is nothing if you put 3 weeks in relation to 80 years.

my parents were a bit better and they got 4 visits a year for a couple hours at our house. and I threatend them (and I meant it ) to ever contact them without me knowing.

I still have no clue why they all just have a cavity filled with shit between their ears and how my brother and my sister and me have now a life so different, so full of fun and laughter and cuddling and love. something we missed when we were kids.

and it's so clenched so tight it ain't coming out. He's not a loveable character at all. The story puts him at 18 but his dialogue and attitude are more like 90. That's one reason the plot doesn't work well.

Your writing is stilted. People just don't say "I will go get the ball" they say "I'll get it".

People use contractions when speaking. Either english is not your primary language or you should start writing like you'd speak it yourself.

I read LW betrayal stories to help me cope with personal issues and to give me hope for the possibility of a new life. LW betrayal stories are free to touch whatever topics they want, and can be explicit when appropriate, but it is not required.

This is a great story that oozes verisimilitude, and whatever percent it is fiction or history, well done, and thank you for the unusual, stingingly real tale.

More like Proud and Queer. he should've bent Judy over in the shower and stuck it in her ass like a fucken jedi welding his light sabre, dirty bitch was gagging for it.

First thing this is NOT loving wives.. I've never seen a bigger prude as far as sex goes. Horrid child cutting off his family because they like sex. Your story sucks

down vile story readable and interesting..4*

The hero of this story finds out the truth about his parents lifestyle and the the fact that his mother does not know who is his father, and his father ? is a fag. This is a side of swinging we never see portrayed, the affect of such lifestyles on children. Paris this was a well writtten and thought out story, Thank you.

THE ONLY REASON I READ ALL OF THIS STORY WAS BECAUSE I KEPT HOPING IT WOULD GET BETTER. IT DIDN'T. THE SON WAS A COMPLETE SHIT, SPEAKING IN SAVANT-LIKE LANGUAGE, AND COMPLETELY LACKING IN ANY HUMAN OR SOCIAL GRACES. THE PARENTS WERE AT LEAST HUMAN.

NO ONE USES TERMINOLOGY LIKE THAT AND PEOPLE SPEAK IN CONTRACTIONS LIKE "I WON'T" INSTEAD OF "I WILL NOT". VERY STILTED WRITING.

Maybe it was the wrong category. More like non-erotic. This was the second story I ever read that starts to hint at what happens or can happen to children of parents in a particular lifestyle.

This was a story that touched on the emotional abuse from cheating parents. Their inability to form any type of bond between parent(s) and child. The first one I read dealt with the physical abuse. Not a sexy subject but one to consider. Thanks to the author for posting this. Next time try for a more appropriate category.

@ FullCircle56 This story is in the exact category. The extramarital sex effect is in LOVING WIVES stories. Extramarital sex effect is not only on the husbands, wives (Amyyum's stories) but children too.

@ FullCircle56 Stories of bisex husbands hot wives and bulls are not erotic for the sexual majority too. I think here the time to divide Loving Wives into two subdivisions. A sexual majority's behavioral stories to cheating in marriage (just before wedding) collection and masturbating auxilary instrument story collection for the sexual minority.

To find a native English speaking editor is very difficult.

Thanx.

I enjoyed reading your story and hope you will be writing more in the near future.

Thank you.

Excellent Tale. I agree that this could be in the Non-Erotic section or it could be in the Fetish category. I cannot imagine being brought up in a household such as this. Yes my father drank and gambled and eventually my mother became a broken woman suck in a home with four kids. Granted it took me a long time to realize all the ramifications of my childhood. However I was not abused or mishandled. In this tale Rodger was misled and abused his entire life. Luckily he realized the truth and finally began his journey into a normal life with normal people. Well, so-called normal people. I did like this better than the tale it was based on. Great job. Keep writing.

betrayed, FullCuckold, GoatHumper, trio of closet cucks commenting on your story Paris is quite impressive, keep up the good work!

Could even have been therapeutic in its creation?

Could have even been therapeutic in its creation?

Good, felt real. 5* keep writing more like this! It is good to have a protagonist with a moral backbone. BTW, all you perverts that who think that immoral behavior is acceptable in any way, you will go to Hell one day, most likely in this life when you have made a shambles of your relationships!

<i><b>Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more</></b>

So what you think of as being what stories are right for Loving Wives is not right, according to the above description as laid down by the site owners.

I think this was a *5 star story. And if it didn't sound like it was written by an 18-year-old, the reason why it doesn't is clearly included in the story. (CLUE: He wrote it when he was older.)

there is a line in a book somewhere which says" friendship is God's way of apologising for families". Never more evident in this story

of this story is in the way the open marriage lifestyle affects the people around it, In this case in a negative way. It is the exploration of this almost unique storyline that makes this compelling and a good story. Note the outcome could have been one hundred and eighty degrees and still the story would have worked. It has all the elements of the "willing cuckold" story without any of the distasteful justification/humiliation writing we see from lesser authors on this site. Had our young protagonist accepted his parents lifestyle he would merely have been accepting without being in fact a participant in the goings on. As this is removed from an overdone plotline which is hated by the BTB crowd the author has threaded a distasteful tale through the minefield with some success. He has also not alienated the cuck crowd as although the young protagonist rejects the open marriage concept the players in the open marriage do not seem to be at odds with each other and form a supportive front when confronting our young protagonist. Well done. I gave this *****.

But the assumption is there that this lifestyle is inherently harmful. Now, I could see where cuckolding would harm a kid, seeing the disrespect for his father (if he is even his biological dad) first-hand, but a free, open, loving marriage between consenting adults who treat each other with respect, no, I don't think that would harm a kid. This guy, frankly, gives clues about himself when he speaks of spurning perfectly healthy, non-sexual, family affection of the innocent kind. I think that he has some kind of personality disorder that makes it impossible for him to connect emotionally to most people. How a man who is like that can have a healthy marriage later, I have no clue, unless he got some real therapy. The parents don't need counseling, the son does. He quite bluntly needs a shrink.

I fully feel for the character in your story. Without morality every society falls into chaos. Truly rewarding to read a story with such conviction and knowing the truly perverted on this site will try to vindicate themselves, and their lifestyle choices thus lashing out at you for injecting a little purity into otherwise wasted lives. Great story. You deserve a # 6.

Which means that as far as your pompous, self absorbed, egotistical, jack ass of a main character is concerned, he is a homophobic racist.

The point is we can trust that he is those things until we deify otherwise or we can trust that he isn't until HE proves otherwise.

Plot was very strange, but I loved the dialogue. Out protagonist had a real talent for suffering fools poorly. Hope this author writes some more. Five stars.

It was developing into a first time story and then the relations of three friends exploded his universe. I have to admit it was a much more interesting story than I initially imagined. He reacted in a surprising manner up until the doubt about his father's identity, then, his position is justified and he adds more details about his upbringing.

SeverusMax, you should reread the story. The protagonist was NOT raise in an open marriage relationship. It was hidden from him so his coolness and aloofness was NOT from the sexual environment with the exception that the parents were just a little too huggy, touchy which leads me to believe there was some subtle child molesting going on. If you believe THAT is good for children then you need to seek counseling quick. The main character wanted the type of relationship his friends had with their parents so when he tried to put a damper on all the hugging and touching, the parents, in their selfish way took that for rejection and considered there was something wrong with the boy and not themselves. I give the story a *****.

I wonder if Umberto Eco gets comments about whether his characters really talk or behave that way or not?

This being a literary work, the author relied upon a style that was dialogue driven. To make sure the story flowed yet stood on its own, only minimal background material was provided. To address some of the comments I have listed off below the background material for the story, the so-called canon:

-Roger's parents names are David and Ruth.

-Roger never used those names. Since the story was from his view point, it was not necessary to have their names in there.

-Both couples are swingers, swung together and with others.

-All four adults are bisexual.

-Ruth and Judy are the dominant partners in their marriages.

-Both David and Horace enjoy partaking in cuckold activities.

-The adults did a great job of hiding their activities. Earlier attempts to include Rodger failed miserably, so Rodger was hands off.

-Ruth and Judy hatched the tree planting plot one night while eating each other out, feeling it was time to get Rodger to participate in their lifestyle. Guess they were used to having their way with all men.

-Rodger is an oops baby, Ruth could not deal with birth control pills.

-Even the author does not know who Rodger's dad is. He does know that neither David nor Horace are, but most likely one of the students that Ruth messed around with is the father.

-Rodger was born with high functioning autism, from one of the smarter students that Ruth messed around with.

-That same genetic defect that gave Ridger his special power of perception.

Hey - it's a story! Just here to provide some entertainment...

Just to make sure, none of the characters are real, with all adult actions based on scenes that have appeared in various LW stories. Also, the author does not write stories for a living and this was his first literary endeavor.

...what you had written. Even so, as long as it is consensual, revolting though it might be, it's not really any of his business what they do. He turned them down, as is his right (and knowing that there is cuckolding involved now, I don't blame him at all for not wanting to be either cuck or Bull...both are degrading IMHO), but he can't expect them to give up what they like. The autism explains things, but again was never mentioned to my recollection. My stepson is autistic, so I know a thing or two about that. Even so, it comes across very unloving. Usually, autistic people are able to trust at least one person in the family, at least in my experience. But it does explain better him wanting no touch, since such contact can be painful for some autistic kids.

The cuckolding stories are boring stories and without erotic power for the majority of the readers. The reader as I am, the only thing which would be interesting in these sort of stories the long time panorama life of these people. I do not know but we got 3 time panorama stories from this genre in the last half year.

1. Maninconn "I Have a Proposition For You"

2. Saxon_Hart "Ginger Snaps"

3. This story.

(one of these author nobody is cuck writer)

Thanks for these authors to write the true side of these connections which is not so bright as the masturbating auxaliry cuck story twisted authors want to show without longer time panorama to sexual minority readers...........

The bisex (or fag) husband hot wife connections are the more succesful as this story showed well. The most famouse example is Salvador Dali (Spanish surreal painter) and his Russian emigrated aristrocrat hot wife. However I know Salvador Dali had not any common children......

Truly bizarre.

I wonder if English is not your second language?

Your writing is stilted and variegated with unusual phrasings and pacing.

I even tried reading it aloud with a Brooklyn accent and it still came off difficult.

If you are to continue, I would suggest getting some help with the overall structure and outline, as well as working on sentence structure and thought sequencing.

What a wierd and sketchy view into a bizarre and uncomfortable situation.

After commenting, I decided to read your response to comments as well as the other comments.

Having read your premise, I now enjoy a whole different take on your story.....though not much more hopeful.

First, shame shame, even in a sketch you must give us enough to understand that we are dealing with an unusual individual in an unusual circumstance. Some of your definitions for your protagonist were outlandish without any hint of his nature beyond the stilted and poorly structured expression in the story.

That, in this forum is not a given, allowing as how a significant portion of the submitting authors have other languages as their first....and so suffer from the usual vagaries of attempting to express themselves in a second language.

Eu tambem posso declarar um certo conhiecimento estranho.

Finally, crafting something for public consumption, no matter how skewed the audience, should motivate writers to greater care in their writing. Though this item does not fall into the depths of being a verbal ejaculation so common to this forum, it falls somewhat short of excellence in that it fails to adequately tell the story.

If you conveyed even half of what you state in your response as part of the story (though subtlety would be somewhat in order there), it would have been much more intriguing, with a much higher audience tolerance for the narrator's verbal style.

Sorry, three *.

Having a slut for a mother is quite fantastic in a very bad way. Then this author compounds this story with a bi-sexual father and questionable paternity. As a person familiar with many types of people you can't blame the protagonist from exiling himself from a bizarre situation. Personally, I wouldn't speak or communicate in any way ever once the mid vacation at his Uncle and Aunt's went bust. Sanity is much more important than dealing with older adult perverts. How could you introduce a serious girlfriend to a family like this? Better to be an orphan! At least an orphan has dreams of whom their parents might be. Knowing your parents are scumbags in a tough nut. The story was well presented in some very distasteful subject matter.

There are people without any moral...maybe they have born without it...And not having any moral, they can't understand who has...

wTF...I would have cut ties with them permanently and told them that they are dead to me... and not to contact me...at may b even get a restrainimg order against the 4 of them from coming within 50 feet.

I would have Also call names to the two faggot standing with the slut. Ugh

I have never understood the need for the women in these stories (you're not the only one guilty of it on this site) to act as mediators or just act nosey in general. Leave stuff be. There are things that shouldn't be messed with. His relationship with his pseudo-parents was just that. Reason why I took away 1 star from the 5 that I was about to give you.

The word "equivocality" might well ring the bell in the LitRot vocabulary strongman contest, but the author had points subtracted for using "abdominal" so abominably.

Most people intuitively know when a touch is sexualized or not even if they can't explain how they know it. I immediately picked up on the way you had the main character know something was off when his mother touched him. He could not explain why his mother's "hugs" were wrong, but he intuitively knew something was wrong. That told me his mother, if not both parents, had attempted to groom him for a sexualized incestuous relationship with her. No matter how this might work in fantasy, in the real world most people get creeped out when they discover the adults they trust have a hidden sexual agenda. It destroys the trust and with it the relationship. You nailed the real world reaction most guys would have in that situation.

About wives acting as intermediarys, my wife does that. I've been estranged from my Mom for years. My wife talks to her daily. It's weird, but true.

What a perverted family. You have just stepped off the train into the state of incest

That was a strange little story, but in the end not awful.

Written by a tortured soul. I hope the author has gotten counseling.

I could only get through the first part of this. It was obviously a twist on KDK's "No Reply." From the comments apparently things worked out differently, but the concept is just too out there for me.

“Abdominal behavior”? Was that a typo or a joke? The main character’s way of speaking seemed very precise and sometimes cold; it made me wonder if you intended him to be somewhere on the autism spectrum. Not the best or most interesting story I’ve read here (though not the worst).

I would of at least fucked the aunt