Loud and Clear!

"I was wondering why you never mentioned her name to me. Well, Cathy opened my eyes, which I found coincidental to the topics you were bringing up since I arrived. I think you know me well enough that I do not take kindly to being told lies or spending time with people that withhold information. Especially with caregivers or those that are concerned for their charges. I wonder whose interests you had in mind this week, and maybe in the past?"

"I never had anything but the best intentions for your Rodger. You mother was concerned that you were not growing emotionally, so she asked if I could help out. I see that going about it this way was a bad idea."

"I'll say! You know I never saw eye to eye with my mom. Mom did say she planned my vacation with you, and I have to wonder to what level that planning involved, or should I say, degraded? This scenario is consistent with my mother's past intrusive plots. Now she has gone too far. To think I regarded you as a person to look up to, but that is no longer the case. I am heading home now."

"You are going to stay here and plant the tress like you said you were!"

"Like mom told me to? No, I am leaving."

"Well, I am not driving you to the train station."

"Don't you worry your little ol' head! God gave me a fine pair of walking legs and I am going to use them to carry my ass out of slutland as fast as possible!"

"Wow, you are stubborn!"

"No one is denying that, so what's new? Did you think because you're a so called adult that I would just do as you say, even though I have no interest in your education program, and you already knew that ahead of time? Think you can force me to do things against my will, things that I consider private in my life?"

Aunt Judy just looks at me.

"I gather then that the answer is no. So I am off. Maybe this is the last time we will meet. You will get your wish now, as I will say 'good bye Judy'. Note that I left off Aunt, as I have no respect for you anymore!"

I grab my backpack, head out the door, walk out driveway towards the train station, less than a 15 minute walk. When I get there it is getting close to 1 PM. I see that they are on a non-rush hour schedule, where trains run every 2 hours. I just missed a train by 10 minutes! There was no way I could cool my heels in the station, so I just up and start walking back home to Jamaica. Only 25 miles, it is a clear day, nothing to stop me from getting home on foot.

You would think that would be a good time to think. The beginning of the trip was a bit treacherous, as I had to walk along the side of highways without sidewalks and rude drivers. Not until I got to Roslyn that sidewalks were more common than not, and Northern Blvd was finally the stretch where the rest of the way was paved for pedestrians.

Praise the lord, here comes a White Castle! I walk in and order me a bunch of sliders with fries and a coke, and sit down at a table. Now I can finally collect my thoughts, not that they are very nice. The events of the past day have revealed that my parents were in cahoots with my aunt & uncle, leading a depraved lifestyle and trying to pull me into it. Most interesting that they led their lifestyle without any hint to me and then all of a sudden want to bring me into it. I cannot live with this level of deceit, so I need to accelerate my plans to move out. College does not officially start until late August. Wonder if I can move into a dorm sooner? Will have to find out, else will need to come up with an alternate plan.

On the way out of the White Castle I pass by the requisite panhandler. I was in no mood to deal with them today, so as I left the door I swung my backpack in his direction and told him to bug off! I have to try that more often, as he backed down right away.

I finish the walk back home, get there after 6 PM. That was good timing, considering that I stopped for lunch along the way.

Was fully expecting Aunt Judy to have called mom, with mom waiting for me at the door on the warpath. Strange, house was all quiet, no one home. I was very thirsty, so I made myself a pitcher of Kool-Aid with half the sugar and drank most of it.

After that walk I needed another shower. When I was finished I saw that there was still no mom. Maybe she was visiting someone? The phone rang after a bit and I picked it up (pre-cell phone service, only a landline with no recorder and no Caller ID).

"Hello".

"Rodger - you made it home?"

"Yes Judy, of course I made it home. Weather was nice, good for a long walk, no one mugged me and the walk helped get some frustration out. Now is your chance to put it back into me."

"Please don't be like that."

"Bye Judy." Click.

Looks like I have the house to myself tonight. Mom not being home gives me time to figure out how to deal with my bailing out on Aunt Judy, plus wondering what to do with my discovery of Aunt Judy's cheating, whoops, rather her slutty lifestyle with guys way younger than her nonetheless. Then wondering if my dad and Uncle Horace are being pals right now in more ways than one.

After 10 PM I feel emotionally drained and tired, so I head off to sleep. Sometime in the middle of my sleep I hear noises in the apartment. I throw on a T-shirt and look to see what is going on. Creeping through the hallway I find the noises are coming from the living room, as well as light.

Oh, what a sight! There was my mom on the sofa with some guy. She must have imbibed quite a bit, as she was unnaturally boisterous. Guess she must have thought no one else was home. Clothes were strewn all over the floor, and then I realize that she was naked, along with the guy who was all over her. The guy seems to be around my age, and looked like he knew what he was doing. I was beginning to see a pattern here. Time to announce my presence.

"Hey, keep the noise down, there are people trying to sleep here! You know it is time to be sleeping in bed! What would you have said if I made this racket when you were sleeping?"

That got their attention! The two naked people fell apart and turned to see who was talking to them.

"Gee mom, who's your friend? Or should I say, boy-friend?"

"Wha, what are you doing here?!"

"Well, well, looks like I left one slut for another. Except this one is already taken. Why don't you take this show to your room and close the door so I do not have to hear you two and leave me sleep in peace?"

"What are you doing here? Why aren't you at Aunt Judy's?"

"What, join her in bed, just as you are looking to do yourself? In your current inebriated state, it is best to wait until you sleep this off and then I can give you the gory details of my vacation cut short. Do not worry about boy wonder there, take him with you to bed. If you are worried that I know about your lifestyle, don't. I obviously know about it already, that damage is done. We can talk when we wake up. Go on, no need to look so surprised! Nitey-nite!"

With that I turned around, walked back to my room and closed the door. I lay back down to sleep, as I was surprisingly calm after seeing my mother bring some guy home, naked at that. I guess the ordeal at Aunt Judy's prepped me for this scenario, having drained my disgust already in Glen Cove. So I was not surprised when I saw it happen here at home from my mother.

As I lay in bed reviewing the recent events, it finally occurred to me what has been happening and how I got to be bamboozled. I trusted my family, my parents. I treated them special, unlike everyone one else. Growing up in New York, the first thing you learn is not to trust anyone. Unfortunately, it was a mistake to trust my parents, it ends up that they were just like everyone else. Going forward I would have to treat everyone the same and trust no one, not even family.

With that resolved, it did not take long to fall asleep, although I did hear some shuffling noises before I lost consciousness.

----------------

I was surprised when I woke up that my mom was already awake, coffee made too. I poured myself a cup and sat down at the kitchen table across from her. She did not look like she slept, plus was having the hangover look about her.

"Morning. Where's boy wonder?"

"He did not feel comfortable staying after your surprise appearance and went home."

"Ruined your evening then? That might make up for messing my summer arrangements without talking to me first. Now, was the plan for him to stay all week, or were you going to get a new boy everyday?"

"I feel bad, in more ways than one. Rodger, I do not know where to begin?"

"About what? I am sure we have plenty aspirin in the bathroom closet."

Yeah, I was going to let her have it and not be nice about it either.

"Took them already, and wish I had something stronger. But that is not what I am talking about."

"Really. Then what do you want to talk about? Perhaps my moving out as soon as possible? I am thinking that we should wait until you feel better first before diving into that topic, going to be a pretty heavy discussion."

"Rodger, what do you mean moving out?"

"Since I found out I live in slutland and have no desire to deal with sluts, or fags on top of that, I have found myself with a sudden need to locate a slut-free place to live."

"Ouch! That was mean! You cannot be serious about leaving?"

"It will take some effort, especially since I have my life tied up with yours and dad, but I am sure I will figure something out and find a way to support myself in a place of my own. You proved to me that I really cannot trust anyone, not even my so-called family. The reason for the breaking of the trust is most pathetic. I am unable to live any longer with you."

"What is going on here? How can you think such bad things about your family?"

"Uhh, how can I not think such bad things? I made the mistake of trusting my parents, which you have revealed this weekend to be an error, so I am now going about repairing the damage you did and making sure it never happens again. That means I cannot believe anything you say, and I see no reason to stay in a home with people lying to me."

"Rodger, we were not being malicious! This was done for your own good! You were not maturing in the right direction, so we had to step in and guide you. Running away will not solve any problems!"

"So, having endured a deceitful upbringing for my entire childhood does not equate to an unpleasant environment, which in turn gives me cause to think that my family is bad enough to want to leave? Just to make sure there is no misunderstanding, it is not just the lies and set up this week that I am reacting to, rather, for a long period of time you have been hiding a sordid lifestyle from me and who knows what other lies. That is intolerable, at least for me. Nothing to do with maturity, rather my criteria for a content life are greater than yours and I have no need to stoop down to your level, where I feel sluttiness is at."

"That is not true! And stop with the insults! We never exposed you to our intimate pastime. We were very careful to make sure that you were blissfully unaware of what us adults were doing. You have to agree that until whatever happened at Aunt Judy's, you knew nothing of how we entertained ourselves."

"The main point was to keep me in the dark, that way you could have a clear conscience and commit whatever perverted acts you desired? You know, that is how murderers think, if the body can be kept hidden, they will never be caught."

"You have to stop that Rodger! We are not criminals!"

"No, just perverts. What if I told everyone how you and Aunt Judy entertain yourselves? Not to mention what dad and Uncle Horace do to each other? Think your business would skyrocket once your customers heard that?"

"You wouldn't dare?!?"

"No, I would not. Although I have to wonder if I should not do so. Just making a point here. It isn't criminal, but it sure isn't something to be proud of! And now I am the one that has to live with the fact that my parents are degenerates. Obviously it does not bother you as such."

"You are relentless! Throwing names at me is not conducive to having a conversation. There is no reason to continue talking to you while you are in this mood, you need to cool off first."

"At this point I see nothing to discuss, so no skin off my back if we do not talk."

"We have to at some time, you said you wanted to move out!"

"That decision is firm, I am moving out, once I have another place worked out. I do not need your assistance in that."

"I do not see how you are going to accomplish that. With that in mind, I will let you cool off and we can continue this discussion later."

"The best way for me to cool off is to go to work now, and get my mind off the events of the past few days. Even though I took vacation, I am sure Mr. Bracchi will let me work today if I show up at the factory."

"This is not how I envisioned the week playing itself out."

"Yes, that is the point of the matter. By the way, you should call Aunt Judy, she called last night and probably wanted to speak to you before I arrived. Good thing you were not here already, so I could avoid the confrontation until you stumbled home late last night."

"I was planning on calling her, as I must find out what happened while you were at her house."

"I have to wonder if you lie to each other too? Just for fun, sometime let me know what her version of my visit to her house is. I am going to get ready to go to work".

"I need to find out what happened. And figure out why you are so vindictive that I am unable to talk to you!"

I did not respond, just went back to my room to get myself ready for work. While I slept calmly overnight, seeing and talking to my mom this morning woke up a new set of infuriating emotions. It would be best that I get out of the apartment immediately and make my way to work.

----------------

I arrived at the factory before lunchtime, picking up a sandwich at the deli across the street on the way in. Of course Mr. Bracchi is surprised to see me.

"Rodger! Did you make a wrong turn, 47th street is in the opposite direction from Long Island?"

"My so-called vacation turned into a fiasco and I cut it short. Is it OK if I return to work and cancel the rest of my vacation?"

"Sure. If you want, you can join me for lunch. I can see there is a story behind your desire to return to work early, if you are willing to share it."

"More than happy to, I need to unload big time!"

I tell Mr. Bracchi all about what happened during my so-called vacation and my return back home, not leaving out any details. So at least one other person knows about my parent's lifestyle. I share with him my strong desire to move out and find a slut-free place to live. The first thought that comes to mind is my college in New Jersey. Maybe they will let me move into my dorm room before the semester starts.

"That is not a bad idea Rodger. But I know a place that you could stay at if you do not want to deal with your college and pay extra for summer room and board."

"Really?"

"Sure. If you want, you could move into the spare room I have in my apartment. It has rarely been used, was meant for our kids, but since we never had any plus my ex moving out, there is little reason to use it. If it were not for rent control keeping my payments in check, I would have relocated to a smaller apartment."

"Wow, so you would be OK with me moving into the spare room? I will make sure not to disturb you and disrupt your life."

"I would not have offered if I felt you would be disruptive. I would not mind your company. I enjoy talking with you and you seem to have your head screwed on right. I think you would make a good companion. Besides, you might be needing some guidance, that which your parents seem not to have been able to provide you. I see this as a win-win scenario. What do you think?"

"Gee, that's a great offer! I have to agree, I could use a sounding board, if you are willing to offer up your wisdom. When can I move in?"

"You can come with me right after work to my apartment. We can work out arrangements from there."

"That is wonderful, I really appreciate your helping me out like this!"

"Excellent! We will head to my place right after quitting time today."

This worked out better than I could have imagined! That evening was a long one. After visiting Bracchi's place and working out arrangements, we got extra keys made. Then I went to my apartment, which I have renamed to my mom's apartment, to collect some things so I can sleep and work the rest of the week away from my old home. I went alone expecting another confrontation, but was surprised that no one was there. That made it easy to collect a box worth of items and head back to my new home via the subway.

Mr. Bracchi and I got along fine. Somehow I got the idea that he was treating me like the son he never had. He did ask me to call him by his first name.

"OK Gerry, I will try to stop using Mister. Do not be surprised if I fall back to using Mister once in awhile."

"I am sure you will get the hang of it."

"How about at the factory?"

"Use my first name there too, many others do, no reason why you could not."

I definitely feel more welcome at my new home. No power play or someone trying to one-up the other, a much friendlier atmosphere. Never treated so nice by another person before, where I have not felt at ease in a long time, if ever. I think Gerry feels the same way with me around. Gerry is treating me like the son he never had, plus he says I make him look good at work and he gets the credit for hiring me. I am grateful for this arrangement, as it has taken a load off my mind, to the point that I am not thinking at all about my parents during the day.

Over time I meet Gerry's family and we get along fine, I fit right in. I find out his name is really Geronimo, but was called Gerry since he was a kid. His sister is married with three kids that we meet with frequently and partake in recreational activities. Just another reason to claim Gerry's home is much better to live in than my parent's home.

----------------

Over time I settle into my room at Gerry's apartment. I take my time moving since there is no deadline, main thing is that I have a safe place to sleep and call home. After work each day I make a trip back to my mom's place, which is no longer my apartment, to take a boxful of stuff to my new abode. I have not seen her since Tuesday morning when I told her I was moving out, which suits me fine.

My plan on Saturday was to finish the move so I did not have to make any more trips to my old place. I arrive at my mom's apartment after lunchtime and this time she is there. Not only her, but my dad and Uncle Horace have returned from their trip. This should be fun. I welcome them by saying:

"Oh good, you 're all here, perhaps you can help me pack the last of my things."

"Is that any way to greet your father?"

Let's not waste any time, might as well get the pleasantries immediately out of the way.

"Now that you brought the point up, I have to wonder if that a true statement?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Whether you are my father or not?"

My mom chimes in on that one.

"Well Rodger, I guess you have not cooled off while you were away?"

"Funny, I thought you were the one that was away from home. When I stopped off in the evening to collect more belongings, no one was home, not that I minded. Anyway, I was calm until I met you all just now. Now seeing you all again is beginning to boil my blood. So, now that we are on the topic, can you confirm whether you my parents or not?"

The three old folks in the room are standing there bewildered. Guess I sidetracked any scripted discussions they might have intended to use. Uncle Horace is looking the worst of the bunch. Seems mom is going to be the spokesperson.