Loud and Clear!

"Oh my God! You 're just continuing on from when you left earlier this week!"

"You mean nothing has changed? I doubt you can un-slutify yourself. So, why would you expect anything different from me now? I came today to finish moving out, but since you are here, maybe you can answer some questions I was pondering after I found out about your lifestyle. The big one is, how can my parents be so depraved while I have no such ideas myself? The only answer I can come up with is that you re not my parents, rather you adopted me. So, the question stands, are you my parents?"

"I am most assuredly your mother!"

"You have proof of this?"

"There were witnesses, doctors and nurses can swear on it!"

"That sounds plausible. No switching babies at the hospital while you had a chance?"

"My goodness no! You are my baby!"

"Maybe someday there will be technology to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt, but for now you are quite adamant, so I will take your word that you are my mother, that is all I can go by for now. So how about you dad, are you for real?"

Oh, I see consternation on the two men's faces. This does not look good. Again, my mom chimes in.

"This is where it gets tricky, honey. This may come as a shock to you, but we do not know for sure who your daddy is."

"If that announcement were made the week before this it would have been a shock, but having your true self exposed since then has shown that I cannot take anything for granted, even my parentage. So, who is my dad then?"

"We do not know. It is evenly split between your dad and Horace, although there may be others involved that could be your father. That is why Uncle Horace always took an interest after you, as he was potentially your father."

Wow, what sheepish looks the men have. They look like they wish they were not here. I have to agree, I wish they were not here either. How disgusting!

"Still hard to believe you are my mother, it is obvious I do not fit into this family. Is the reason I was brought up in an unloving way revenge by dad on the likelihood that I am not his son?"

"Your reference to unloving was a result of your not wanting to love us?

"Can you explain that one? I thought nurturing comes from the parents, especially the mother, that supposedly being you?"

"As an infant you were just like any other baby and we could kiss and cuddle with you. Once you get to the toddler stage you began to push back when we hugged and kissed you. I had a hard time with your rejecting and kept up the cuddles. After awhile it became apparent that you did not want to be kissed, let alone hugged or even touched by us."

"I do recall ever so much how you were trying to crush me, even from my earliest memories. I saw that other kids were not being cuddled and kissed as much as I was. If I did not know better, I would say the cuddles bordered upon being attacked. That reminds me of the sneak attacks you and Aunt Judy would make on me. Was not until I was in Junior High that I had enough and just slapped you, after which you finally gave up on them. Made me mad on two levels, that you were so adamant that I had to get physical, and that ..."

"... That slap was a shock to me. It came out of nowhere and I did not know how to react to it. I finally realized that you were off limits to being handled."

"I think by my teenage years it was too late to fix that, but your constant smothering was just too much for me. Like I said before, the other kids did not seem to be smothered like I was, and I wanted to be treated more like them. It seemed they had love, you were just squeezing me with no affection involved."

"I do not know why you would even think such a thing!"

"Over the years you have continually demonstrated a lack of comprehension about love, with last weekend being the most recent and flagrant example. I seriously doubt you know the difference between love, affection, or caring. You come across as thinking you deserve to be loved, always on the look out for new ways to coerce affection out of me. I got news for you. Just because I am your son does not automatically mean I love you. Love has to be earned and maintained. Love can also be diminished or even terminated, especially when one party does not contribute to the relationship. Say what you will, this person has never felt any real affection from you. Until the past weekend I was able to endure living in an environment where there was no love, but the situation you purposefully put me through has made living with you untenable. So I am off to greener pastures and away from dealing with my so-called family. That include you too 'dad', as well as Uncle Horace."

The two men were non-participants all through my tirade with mom. They did not say a word and just stood there, listening. The room was silent for at least a minute. I looked at the adults in the room, seeing that the gears were grinding in their heads. Finally, mom spoke up.

"I cannot believe you feel this way about me, about us all. To say we do not love you!"

"Listen mom, I think you need to sit down and contemplate what I said. At this point these are facts that are irrefutable. What you do with them does not concern me. I am moving out, and you can live your life as you wish, no matter how depraved. I will not be affected by it, as long as I do not see or hear about it. I was hoping to get the last of my stuff today with some help, but I see that is not going to happen. So I will take a suitcase with me and load it up. If I need anything else, I will let you know I am stopping by to collect more items. I need to get out of here now and stay away as long as possible."

"So you are serious about the things you said and are moving out?"

"Finally sinking in, is it? You should know me well enough, I rarely joke and what happened this week is way too serious to play around. I am leaving because I cannot stand being with you, particularly now that your true lifestyle has been exposed."

"Nothing we can do to change your mind? Horace, is there anything we can do to keep Rodger from leaving?"

I am glaring at mom and then Uncle Horace with an evil eye, after she makes this request.

"It is best that we do not interfere with Rodger's leaving. Rodger is of majority age, so there is nothing we can legally do to prevent his moving out. We could make it difficult for him to leave, but what would that accomplish? Just add more ammunition to what Rodger has been complaining about and alienating him even further. If you truly wish to have a chance for some sort of relationship with Rodger, I recommend that you leave him be for now. We all need to reconcile what has happened, remembering that time heals all wounds."

"Then so be it. This is very sad. OK Rodger. I am not of mind to assist you in moving out today, but I will not stop you from leaving. Please do not lose contact with us."

"Am I supposed to feel grateful for your permission after Uncle Horace's intervention? I was moving out regardless, but maybe we can separate on a peaceful note. I will get you contact info once I settle down. I will still be working at the jewelry factory and then attend university at the end of August. So I am not leaving without a trail."

"OK, honey. Don't be hiding on us."

"No, I won't be hiding, but doubt I will be seeking you out in the near future."

So I gather up the last of the essentials I can jam into a suitcase and stand by the door to leave.

"Alright mom, I am on my way out. This is good bye for now."

"So you will be OK on your own?"

"I think I will be more than fine, nothing to worry about. You will not read about me in the newspaper. Hopefully I will not read about you in there! Amazing that I never knew what you and dad were up to all these years. Once I settle down I will send you contact info, or let you know if I need something I have not collected yet."

"OK Rodger. How about a good-bye hug?"

"Please mom, not a good idea at the moment. I just need to leave now."

And that was it. Mom had tears in her eyes, but mine were bone dry. I walked out of the apartment and left them standing there, heading over to my new home.

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I must say that I was content having moved in with Gerry, as I now referred to Mr. Bracchi. It did not take long to get into a living arrangement with a regular schedule. During the rest of the summer we would commute together to the factory. We saw less of each other once college classes started. Having free reign of the apartment and no emotional toil from my parents helped me do extremely well at school, plus I was able to work some afternoons and weekends at the factory to cover living and commuting expenses.

I did have opportunities to talk Gerry a few evenings a week. He helped me understand a bit of my parents' life. Gerry could refer to his ex-wife's misdeeds while I tried to reconcile my parent's behavior. Over time I came to realize that discovering my parents' lifestyle and the fact that my dad could be an imposter was similar to that of an adopted child finding out his parents are not who he was brought up to believe. Except that I got the extra whammy that the cause of my parents' uncertainty was due to their depraved behavior. Then again, how many kids were put up for adoption because their mom could not keep her legs closed at an inopportune moment?

I learned very early on in my life that my parents were not to be trusted. This went well beyond such things as no Santa Claus and Easter Bunny. On a daily basis I would be presented with challenges to living with them, in what is nowadays termed "drama". Over time we had to come to terms in living with each other, where I tolerated them. There was no love, only duty in our household. I had no gumption in calling out their lies and deceits. The only reason I stayed was my need to sleep under roof, along with a predictable stream of meals, else I would have been one of those urchins out on the street.

Yet, for all of my verifying that I did in my interactions with my parents, I was still caught out by their lies. It did occur to me that while I was verifying new interactions with my parents on a daily basis, I never thought to verify the foundation of our relationship. The fact that my parentage was questionable corrupted our relationship from the start.

So push came to shove and I finally had to leave my parent's apartment and live on my own. Thankfully I did not have to live all by myself, that Gerry took me in as a long lost son. Then in college I was able to connect with people having similar interests that I could share good times with, plus experience a wide variety of viewpoints, which gave me new ideas. So things looked up for me once I was away from the tentacles of my parents.

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Epilog

I did not completely break off contact from my "family". I visited them yearly at Christmas and we kept it civil. That was entirely out of duty, as I had no feelings whatsoever for them. Thanksgivings were spent with my adopted family, the Bracchis. That was closer to a normal family situation and we enjoyed each other's company over the years, way more than I ever did with my original family.

Interestingly enough, Gerry's next-door neighbor had a daughter that started at an all girls college that same year I started at the nearly all boys engineering university. What a woman! Smart, outgoing, and not a selfish bone in her body. Eventually we hooked up and got married. I would like to say we lived happily ever after, and so far that has been the case. One thing she did do was act as mediator between my so-called family and me. She was aware of my parent's lifestyle, but insisted that I be nice to them. So we meet up with my original family every so often and my mom gets to see her grandchildren. More than she deserves, I still say. Plus we even let the kids call my "father" grandpa, which stings me to this day. We do not allow the kids to stay overnight at my parent's place. My mom knows I will not allow my kids to see her true colors, especially by mistake.

Moral of the story is not to trust anyone, but if you end up with someone you want to trust, then do the verification, on past history, then going forwards. Our loved ones are human and are capable of making mistakes. Even if they are family it is best to investigate at the first sign. It is only a matter of time when deceit makes itself known. And if you need trees planted, pay some one to do it for you, you'll be better off.