All Comments on 'Love after Death'

Not a bad start, Hal. We "lay" together not "laid" together - intransitive versus transitive. In conversation & quoted dialogue, few people care. However in narrative voice, even for for casual erotic fiction, it pays to know the difference. Also, woman readers likely would prefer seeing breasts over boobs in referring to the chest area. Hope to see that in a follow-up to this story.

even more grievous ....undue for undo....were for where....etc etc.

really DULL writing

The story was readable but needs work. It seemed to lack feeling in addition to the grammatical notes elsewhere in the comments.

Keep writing.

No apostrophe needed in boobs

Thanks for sharing.

And also blah

this was a very good story and reminded me of how i feel towards men.

i have been single a long long time. Wilma