Love Knows No Color Pt. 20

I remember thinking that this valley was worthy of further exploration. I'd been there as a child but never realized what I was looking at. The rock of the valley floor appeared to be some sort of limestone, which probably meant the area was underlaid with caverns and streams that disappeared underground before bubbling up at a completely different location. In other words, it was a geologist's dream. And, though it was only a few miles and a couple of ridges away from the syncline valley where I'd spent my childhood, the differences between its fertile look and the much drier look of the shale valley I'd lived in were profound. Yes, we'd definitely have to come back and explore this valley.

Making our way through the gorge and dropping about 700 feet in elevation on the winding mountain road, we were soon back in New Castle where we followed Mom and Dad to a small white wood framed church. Parking in the lot, we made our way to the basement where the congregation had prepared a buffet style lunch for us. There were a variety of deli cuts and cheeses along with breads and buns to make sandwiches. They had also provided a tray of fried chicken and one of lasagna, along with potato salad and several different types of cookies and a chocolate cake. There were also two cooler type jugs, one of sweet tea and one of lemonade, along with an urn of hot coffee.

As we made our way through the buffet line, we saw Nora glaring at us. Her daughters, my cousins, Jamie and Marcia flanked her. All were watching us intently.

We sat at an open table, next to the one Nora was sitting at. From where we sat, we could see her staring. But we weren't going to let her bother us. I sat Ethan and Brittany at the table with us, and got them some plates of food as well. Just as I was sitting back down, Mom brought Grandpap to our table, steadying him with her arm as he hobbled. I quickly got up and pulled out a chair for him.

Shavonda offered to get him a plate of food, but Mom shook her head no. "You need to stay right here," she said with a smile. "I'll get his plate."

With Grandpap seated in front of us, he had his back to Nora so he couldn't see her glares. "I wanted to get to know you," he said to Shavonda. "I have two daughters. One thinks you are wonderful, the other thinks you are trashy. They can't both be right."

I looked at Shavonda, who gave me a look that said, 'I got this.' She gave Grandpap a warm smile. "I am not trashy. All I ask is that you respect me and my husband. I don't expect you to like me."

"Respect must be earned," Grandpap said.

"That's where you're wrong," Shavonda replied. "Basic respect should be given. Trust must be earned. And respect can be lost through one's actions." I noticed Grandpap's eyebrows raise. He hadn't expected Shavonda's thoughtful dissent.

"How do you figger?" he asked. "On what do you base your opinion?"

Shavonda looked him in the eye and said, "The Bible. Jesus himself said 'Do unto others as you wish them to do unto you.' That sounds like basic respect to me. And that is all I have ever asked. Treat me the way you want me to treat you."

I half expected Grandpap to get angry. But he didn't. He just stared at her as if weighing his words.

"But I didn't come here to discuss respect," Shavonda continued. "This is a solemn occasion. Everybody's upset. We can discuss this another time if you'd like. I came here to support my best friend and husband in his time of need, not to upset you."

Grandpap nodded. "Thank you," he said. "I had some reservations about you, but I can see that you are respectful and dignified." He paused a minute, then continued, "You caused quite a stir when you showed up. There are some here who think you should have stayed away. I am not one of them. I respect your reasons for being here. I wish we'd have met under different circumstances."

"We were told that you didn't want to see us. That's why we never came by," I explained. "We don't want to be where we are not welcome. But remember, where Von goes, I go. And vice versa. If she's not welcome then I will respect that and stay away. But I am not going to leave her behind to go where she is not welcome. She is more than my wife. She is my best friend. I would not disrespect her by leaving her behind."

Grandpap nodded. "That's an admirable attitude to have. You'll need it. There are a lot of people around here who don't think you should be together." He turned to Shavonda. "I want to thank you for the pendant. I understand you make these for a living."

"Yes, sir," my queen replied. "I have two stores where I sell what we make. We've done very well. But your pendant is extra special. We recently bought the equipment to screen print. I had intended to use it for t shirts and posters. But I decided to experiment on printed pendants. Yours is the first one we did. Before, what I did for you wouldn't have been possible. The design is far too intricate for me to cut and piece together the way I previously did."

I could see Grandpap's attitude softening. He listened with interest as Shavonda described how she made the pendants. My wife exuded class, grace and elegance, even in a hostile environment. Nora's stare, which he couldn't see, got Shavonda's attention. "Please excuse me," she said. "I'll be right back, but there is something I have to do."

Grandpap and I watched as Shavonda made her way around the table to Nora. She reached in her purse and handed Nora the box containing the third pendant.

"She's really something," Grandpap said. "I can see why you like her."

"Do you know what she just did?" I asked. He shook his head no. "Shavonda made three pendants. One for you, one for Mom, and one for Nora. Nora has been giving us the evil eye the whole day, and yet my wife wanted to give her something to remember her mother by. That's the kind of person she is. And that's the reason I married her. Not because of whatever rumors you may have heard. She has willingly taken Brittany and Ethan as her own children, because their mother is in jail for the next twelve years."

We watched as Shavonda made her way back to her seat. Nora opened the box. She and her daughters stared at the pendant for a minute before Jamie removed it from the box and put it around her mother's neck.

"You didn't have to do that, you know," Grandpap said. "She doesn't like you and probably never will."

"I know that," Shavonda said. "But I had to. She's hurting right now. Whatever bad blood there is between us needs to be forgotten if only for the day. Do unto others..."

"So that's what you meant by respect." Grandpap let the statement trail off.

"Exactly. I am not going to do anything to disrespect your wife's memory. I know how much she meant to y'all, and for one day I hope we all can just get along."

"Jason, I notice you have nothing to say," Grandpap said. I had been spoon feeding Miracle while they had their talk.

"That's because I am letting you get to know Shavonda. I could sit here and sing her praises all day, but the best way for you to see what I see is to let her show you herself. She's classy, elegant, and worthy of whatever love and respect she gets and then some. Women like her don't come along every day, and I'm flattered she chose me." I couldn't help myself. Shavonda meant so much to me. She showed me every day how loved I was, and never more than today. She'd walked into a potential hornet's nest, but she was holding her own. Mom. Who had been sitting beside Grandpap the whole time, smiled. She gave me a look that said, 'I told you so.'

All too soon it was time to leave. On the way out the door, I introduced Shavonda to Jamie and Marcia. The cousins were about ten years younger than us, in their mid-twenties. They both had the same long, dark hair of their mother. The resemblance was striking. Shavonda daintily held out her hand and said, "So pleased to finally meet you. We'd have loved to have had you at the wedding."

I found the kids outside playing with some other children they'd met, and herded them toward the Jeep. Ethan's suit was dirty, but I didn't mind. Today was not the day to get mad over trivial things. We'd all just lost somebody dear to us. Shavonda was already at the car. Balancing Miracle on her hip, she deftly opened the door and was strapping Miracle into her carseat when we arrived.

"Ethan," she scolded. "You are a mess! Just look at you!" I held my finger to my lips to quiet her.

"Von, it's OK. IT's not the time to yell at him. The dirt will wash out of his clothes."

AS we pulled away, it truly hit me. Grandma Duncan was gone. I was glad Shavonda was driving, because I was in no condition to drive. We drove back in silence. Every so often, Shavonda would sneak a glance at me. I felt bad for her. I could see her heart breaking to see me like this.

Back at the house, we all gathered on the porch. The kids changed out of their good clothes and ran off to play in the woods. I held Miracle on my lap, bouncing her sadly.

"Jason," Mom said. "It's not your fault she never got to meet the baby. To be honest, she had no desire to meet Von or the baby. She sent Nora to see what your wife is like, because she didn't want to dignify your marriage by showing up herself. I know that hurts, but it is the truth."

I sat there, wordless. Shavonda gently rubbed my back, trying to soothe me.

"Nora came here with a preconceived bias," Mom continued. "It didn't matter what you two did, she had it in her mind that Von was trash. And that's what she went back and told the family. Your grandpap was the one who wanted to see in person what she's like."

Mom turned to Shavonda. "My dad is a good man. When you showed up at the funeral, he made the time to talk to you. He will base his opinion of you on what he saw, not what others have told him. Personally, I think you did well, considering the circumstances. I hope he'll be interested in visiting in the future when he's not in so much pain. But I think you made a good impression on him. Thank you for not letting Nora get under your skin."

"Every part of my being wanted to smack her silly," Shavonda said. "But it was not the place or time for that. If I had caused any trouble with Nora, it would only have confirmed what they think they know about me."

"We all know that's not who you are," Mom said gently. "You have a quiet dignity about you. Your whole family does. Nora refused to see that. But I think my Dad noticed. You have to remember where we're at. There aren't a lot of black folks here, maybe a hundred in Monroe county, and a dozen or so in Craig county where they live. All they know about you are the stereotypes they see on TV. You're probably the first one they've ever really gotten to know."

I could see the weary look on Shavonda's face. "It really doesn't matter how many of us there are around. To some people, no matter how good we are we will always be less than human. I'm just glad I have somebody who's chosen to bear that cross with me, even though he doesn't have to. Honestly, I don't know what else I can do. I've reached out to them. The ball's in their court now."

"Right now, you have more important things to deal with than them. Jason's hurting bad. I can see it in his eyes. Jason, you're starting to worry me," Mom admonished. "She's gone. Beating yourself up over that won't bring her back. You did everything you could. Nothing would have changed if you'd done things differently."

I slouched back in the chair, miserable. "Jason," Shavonda said softly, "I brought something along for you. I figured you'd need it." She turned to Mom. "I know y'all don't drink around this house, but do you mind, just this once, if your son knocks back a couple?"

Mom looked at Dad, who said, "Sure, why not? It's been a really rough day."

Shavonda went out to the Jeep, and brought back a bottle of our favorite black cherry rum. "Jason, do you want it straight? Or should I mix it with something?" I grabbed the bottle, took a swig, then shuddered as the rum made its way down my throat. "Maybe you'd better mix it," I said.

Shavonda disappeared into the kitchen, I could hear her mixing something up for me. Returning with a tall glass full of ice and Koolaid, she said, "There is no pop to mix it with, so I made up some black cherry Koolaid. I hope you don't mind."

I took the drink from her and sipped. It was strong and tasty as hell. "Thank you," I said softly. "It's very good." The family watched as I drank about half of the glass down, then set it on the small table. I didn't want to drink too much at once. I knew it was going to hit me hard. I sat sipping the rest of the glass for the next half hour while Shavonda rubbed my back, then she refilled my glass. By the end of the second glass I was feeling no pain.

The phone rang in the other room, and Mom quickly got up to answer it. She brought it to me, saying, "It's for you."

MY cousin Jamie was on the other end. "HI," I said.

"Jason," she asked, "Are you all right? Have you been drinking?"

"I'll be ok," I said. "What's up?" I imagine my speech was slurred by all the alcohol.

"I just wanted to tell you we're glad you and your wife came," Jamie started. "And though my mother will never admit it, we were impressed by what Shavonda gave her. She didn't have to do that, knowing how much my mom doesn't like her. But she did it anyway. And that's why I called. We've been told so many bad things about her. But the woman I saw today was kind and loving. I'd like to get to know her better."

"Would you like to talk to her?" I asked. Receiving an affirmative answer, I handed the phone to Shavonda, whispering, "Jamie."

Shavonda talked to Jamie for quite a while, while I got up and poured myself another glass or rum and Koolaid. I sipped it as my wife and cousin talked. Evidently, Jamie and Shavonda had found common ground. I was glad of that at least. After she ended the call and handed the phone to Mom, she told me, "Jamie would like to stop by and visit us. Just her. Nora won't be coming."

I nodded my approval. "When?" I asked.

"Tomorrow or Saturday. She's not sure."

About that time, Mom said to Shavonda, "Maybe you better take him upstairs." Shavonda steadied me as I shakily made my way to the bedroom. My head was spinning as I made staggered up the steps, my arm draped over my queen's shoulder. BY now, the sun had set and we sat watching the colors changing from yellow to orange to pink to purple and finally black as night fell. She held me as I finally let it all out. For the first time since my childhood, I cried that night. And my goddess was there rocking me gently, soothingly as I did so. A little while later, Mom brought Miracle up to us. She was asleep.

"He's really taking it hard, isn't he?" she asked. Shavonda nodded. "Just stay with him, Von. He needs you more than ever." Mom said. I didn't mean to be like this. The whole family was grieving. The last thing I wanted was to be a burden. But though I'd put up a brave face in public, inside I was not ok. I was melting down. Luckily, my queen was there to pick up the pieces and help me pull it together.

After I had cried myself out, Shavonda said to me, "The baby's asleep so she won't be needing my milk. Would you like some? It may soothe you like it does Miracle." I helped her unzip her dress, then watched as it slipped off her curves as she stood. She reached around her back and undid her bra clasp, removing it and letting it drop to the floor. She returned to the bed and rocked me as I took her nipple in my mouth. She was right, suckling her had a calming effect on me, and I soon fell asleep, my mouth still on her breast.

The next morning, I awoke before dawn. Couldn't help it, years on my job with start times ranging from 3:30 to 5:30 am had left me permanently a morning person. A rainstorm had moved in during the night, and the cool breeze coming in through the window along with the soothing pitter patter of the raindrops had a calming effect. Although I later found out I had drank well over half a fifth of rum the night before, I was in surprisingly good shape. Shavonda lay curled up to me, still holding me tight against her breast. I started to get up, but she held on to me, mumbling, "Don't you dare white boy." In her sleep. I did the next best thing, I started to lick her nipple. Truth be told, I was horny that morning. And hungry. I wanted to devour her.

Before long, Shavonda started to stir. Evidently my attention to her nipple was having an effect on her. As the room lightened in the dawn, she opened her eyes and flashed me that beautiful smile. Her dark brown eyes sparkled in the dim light. To this day I can't figure out why anybody thinks black women are ugly. Every time mine gave me that wide toothy smile with eyes sparkling, I was in awe. She was breathtakingly gorgeous to me. Her smile was the most beautiful thing about her, and that was saying something because, to be honest I thought she was built like a brick house. And even after well over a year of married life, on some level I still found it humbling that she wanted me, of all people, to be her life mate.

"Good morning, boo," she said. "How you feel?"

"A little better," I answered her. "Slight headache but no nausea."

"Baby!" she exclaimed. "Better gargle. Mouthwash over in the bag."

Thus chastened, I grabbed the bottle from Shavonda's duffel bag, and took a swig, swirling it around my mouth and gargling before spitting it out the window onto the porch roof. "Much better," my goddess said. She lay there on the bed, naked, smiling, and I realized I was naked too. Shavonda must have removed my clothes after I went to sleep. "Baby," she purred. "I love you. But last night you worried me. I wanted so much to calm you down and make love to you, to let you know that no matter what, I am here for you. But you fell asleep on me. I'm not mad. I know how rough it is to lose somebody you love."

"Thank you for being there," I said. "I am so embarrassed by last night. Mom didn't see me crying, did she?"

"No," Shavonda replied tenderly, "But she would have understood if she did. She's worried about you too. We all are."

"I hope I got it out of my system. I don't want to have a breakdown like that again."

"It's going to take you some time to get right again," She smiled at me again and my heart melted. I leaned in to kiss her, suddenly overcome. She accepted my kiss, her soft full lips felt so good pressed against mine. "Baby boy," she said. "You lay back and enjoy. I'ma do what I wanted to last night. Don't move too much. Just let me do the work."

She softly kissed her way down my body, sucking on my nipples for a while. She knew this drove me crazy. Then she kissed her way down to my crotch, taking me deep within her mouth, looking at me with those mesmerizing eyes as her lips and tongue worked their magic. "You can play in my hair now, you know," she said with a smile before once again taking my erection between those full soft lips. As I ran my fingers over her braids, I lay back with a contented moan, "Baby you do that so well..."

But Shavonda had other ideas. Hangover or not, she wanted me inside her. Crawling up my body and straddling my hips, she guided my manhood to her warm wet crevice, and slowly impaled herself. As she lowered herself onto my lap, she worked her hips in a circular motion designed to drive me wild. And it was. We started slowly, me letting her work her body over mine, caressing me with her womanhood. Gradually the pace quickened as she neared her peak. I was getting close too, from the combination of the sensations of her body moving against mine, and the sight of her beautiful dark nipples bouncing in my face as she rode me with increasing urgency. My hands squeezed her ass cheeks as she rode, caressing that special spot we both knew so well.