Love Knows No Color Pt. 26

"I...I should have left him," Shavonda said quietly, all the fight gone. "After I got pregnant he turned on me. I should have left him. Maybe none of this would have happened."

"But you didn't. You remained loyal to him. Dear we've all done it, remained in a relationship long after we should have gone. You did what you thought was best."

Shavonda turned to me. "Edie grew up without a father. I didn't want that for my baby."

"I held her as she broke down. "I know. But now you have a baby and a man who loves you."

"Dear, know that we don't blame you. We feel sorry for you, and what you went through. You're not like he was. Your man thinks enough of you to track us down. I'd tell you we forgive you for what happened, but there's nothing to forgive. You didn't do anything wrong."

It was heartwarming to see these two women, who'd lost so much, comforting my wife. I didn't think it would solve her problems, but I did hope that knowing that nobody else held her responsible for the tragedy that unfolded that fateful day would lighten the guilt just a little.

The ladies stayed for dinner. While they talked, I thawed and fried up some kitchen breasts, and cut up potatoes for French fries. Miracle cooed from her playpen, which I'd moved into the kitchen while I cooked. Brittany helped me with the food, while Ethan was the "official taster."

"All this and he cooks too?" Mrs. Tomko laughed. "Don't you ever let him go."

That night, after the ladies had gone, Shavonda thanked me as we lay in bed.

"I know it was hard to see them," I said. "I'm sure it wasn't' easy for them either. But it needed to be done."

Shavonda smiled at me weakly. She was emotionally exhausted.

"Love shouldn't hurt, should it?" I asked, Shavonda shook her head no. "Then why is it that every time you are sad it breaks my heart? Why is it that every time you feel pain I feel it too? I don't like seeing you like this. But I'm here for you, no matter what.

"You came into my life, and you stole my heart. And I don't want it back. It's yours. When I took that vow on our wedding day, I promised to love and cherish you no matter what. But I'd already made that decision a long time before that. No matter what the world throws at us, I can face it as long as I have you. Without you I would be lost. I'd be just a shell of my former self. Sure, I'd carry on for the kids, but without you there would be no joy.

"One of the most frustrating things for me is to see you hurting, and to not be able to do anything about it. Sometimes it feels like you're slipping away. I don't want to lose you to your past. Whatever is bothering you I want to help you face it down. I'd never intentionally hurt you, unless I felt it would help you. I'd hive up everything for you, I love you that much. And all I ask is that you love me in return.

"I couldn't ask for a better wife. You're beautiful. I know you think you're not, but everything you hate about yourself is part of what I love. What you see as flaws I see as real, natural beauty. I think about you all the time. You're kind and loving. You accepted everything about me without question. You love my children as much as your own. My train, my music, my mountains. You embraced them all. To me, you're perfect."

"I'm not perfect," Shavonda said softly. "I'm way too dark, I have stretch marks, my hair's a hot mess, my tits sag, and I go crazy on you a lot."

"And that's exactly what I love about you," I replied.

"I'm still mad at you, you know." Shavonda rolled on her side and snuggled against me. "So no funny business tonight." She buried her head in my shoulder and began to shake. I could feel her tremors, and realized she was crying. All I could do was hold her until she cried herself to sleep. I hated hurting her, but she had to get past the past.

The next day, it was like nothing had happened. We took the kids trick or treating that evening, and Shavonda was happy. These mood swings were giving me whiplash, but at least she was enjoying herself again. We were fortunate to have an Indian summer day, and the temperature even after dark was in the 60s. Shavonda wore her Jamaican peasant outfit, which I hadn't seen since the night she took me to the islands without ever leaving the bedroom. I couldn't help thinking dirty thoughts with her dressed like that.

Shavonda had gotten a bunny suit for Miracle, who rode in her stroller, Ethan was a locomotive engineer, and Brittany went as a princess. I even dressed up as an Indian brave. We took the kids to James and Althea's place, and Althea took a photo of us. We were a motley bunch. I remarked to Althea, "Aren't you glad you took our picture that first day instead of driving me away?"

"You lucky, boy," she replied. "When you did that I liked you. Never dreamed we'd be one big happy family."

James laughed. "How come you were able to get her to shut up. I can't even do that and I'm married to her." Althea punched his shoulder playfully.

We wandered the streets around their house. The kids had a nice haul but wanted more so we went home and did our own neighborhood as well. Later, we went through their haul, looking for anything suspicious before we let them eat their candy. When we were done, they'd all fallen asleep, Miracle in her playpen and the other two on the couch. Hallowe'en was over.

Sunday was spent relaxing. The kids pigged out on candy, while I helped Shavonda in the kitchen with a pot roast. Actually, I did most of the cooking, making mashed potatoes, homemade gravy, and a batch of corn bread to go with the roast. We had an early dinner, and left the roast out so we could get more anytime we wanted. The kids wanted to run trains, so we went to the basement, and I pulled out all the Thomas locomotives we had. The four of us ran them around the layout, having fun. Kenny and James had been working on the signal system for the past few months, and it was now operational. Brittany understood what red, yellow and green meant, and I taught Ethan as well. We used the walkaround controllers, so that we could follow our trains around the room and see all the signals.

The only problem we had was with the pulling power of the locomotives. Percy could only pull one car up the steep climb to Spruce Bridge, and Thomas could only pull three. The larger engines, James, Edward and Henry, did much better, managing about 6 cars each. But with kids being kids, they wanted longer trains so Percy was relegated to helping the others up the steep grade.

That night, Shavonda told me about her latest perk for the employees. She had told them she wanted them to vote. And since election day was coming up, she informed them that she would give a day's pay to anybody who presented her with a voting stub by the end of the week. It didn't matter who they voted for, as long as they voted. "You do realize they're probably going to vote for the people you support," I laughed.

"Yes, but they'd probably do that anyway," she said. "I'm not telling them who to vote for, only encouraging them to vote. If they want to vote for somebody else that's their choice. They give me a stub they get paid."

November went pretty fast. We did the train show the same week as Shavonda's birthday. Kenny and Edie helped us man the booth, and we sold a lot of photos that day. We also had a selection of railroad themed t shirts, but due to our screen printing setup we were only able to print in one color, so our shirts weren't as nice as some of the other vendors. But overall, we did well.

Saturday night we had a little birthday party for my lovely wife. It was a small affair, with only family and close friends, but she enjoyed herself. I got her a couple of bird baths for the backyard, and a field guide to the birds of southwest Virginia that included the general area where my family was from. It had been published by Radford University, so I figured it would contain good information. Shavonda was ecstatic, showing me how it even had graphic representations of the various bird songs. I couldn't read the graphs, but Shavonda could. The thing that had caught my eye was that unlike the general field guides commonly available that were arranged by species, this guide was arranged by location. Each county west of the Blue Ridge was listed in its own chapter, with descriptions of where in that county the various species lived. In short, it was a true guide to the birds of the area, one that we could use to actually find them.

That week was also the grand opening of the new store, Shavonda's African Marketplace. Shavonda had taken out ads in the local papers, advertising it as "A Celebration of Our Culture." While sales were off to a slow start, the Christmas season was right around the corner, and Black History Month after that. Shavonda felt this was the best time to open the store.

Honestly, I was amazed by her stamina. Knowing full well what she'd been through, and what she was dealing with in her personal life, I was surprised she was still standing. Add to this the stress of running a business, and especially the opening of the new store, and her stress levels had to be through the roof. And yet, she somehow managed it all, along with raising three children. She was the very definition of a strong black woman, and I was very proud of her. But I suspected that at some point I was going to have to give up working to help her keep the family business going. I was already helping her with the book work, and screen printing.

The weekend after that, we celebrated Ethan's birthday a week early. He'd been jealous of Miracle's birth interfering with his birthday the year before, and we wanted to make sure her first birthday didn't overshadow his. After all, he was in first grade now, he was turning six. He was officially a big kid now, and he deserved a big kid party. We took him to Chuck E Cheese with a few of his school friends and Patty's kids. I wound up playing air hockey with him for much of the party, and surprisingly he beat me no matter what I did. His hand eye coordination was amazing for someone his age.

When we asked him what he wanted, he'd said," I want to play a guitar just like daddy and Uncle Kenny." So, we bought him a starter guitar, a smaller, kid sized version. Now the fun would begin: teaching him the basics of playing it and a few basic chords. Shavonda could teach him how to read music, because as much as I played, I still couldn't read it. I played entirely by ear.

Miracle's first birthday, conveniently on a Saturday, was the biggest party of all. It seemed even bigger due to the fact that the weather had turned colder, and we had to hold it indoors. All of Shavonda's friends and family came, and the stack of presents in the corner quickly grew into a mountain. We had to keep ordering pizzas to keep everybody fed.

The bakery had provided us with a little cake just for Miracle, in addition to the main cake for the guests. As we sang Happy Birthday (the Stevie Wonder version) she dug into the cake, tasting it. Soon she was a mess, with cake all over her clothes, face, and in her hair. She looked so adorable I had to take a lot of pictures.

We also received an interesting letter in the mail, from Scott, our locomotive Engineer friend. We'd sent him some photos we'd taken from our summer vacation, including the two trains passing each other on the lower Horseshoe. In return, he'd sent us some photos he'd taken from the locomotive cab of the various locations on his run. Best of all, he suggested we could ride with him next time we were down that way. We'd have to be discrete, lest he get in trouble. We'd have to find a remote place to board. But he wanted us to experience the line from his perspective.

Coal traffic, which had been declining for the past several years, was way down. Most days they were only running one or two zigzag trains, down from the four crews of a couple years previous. Scott didn't fear for his job, he had enough time in to keep working. But he didn't know how much longer he'd be able to hold the zigzags. If he got bumped, gone would be the semi-regular start times, and being home every night. Instead, he'd probably wind up on the intermodal runs in the long pool, running to Cumberland every other day. He didn't want the short pool runs, which overnighted at Mountain Grove. "It's a little shithole of a place, with nothing to do but eat and sleep. And the only food in town is at the railroad motel."

It sounded like an interesting day. Shavonda was game. So, we called the number Scott had included in his letter and set things up. Since we had plans to visit my family for Thanksgiving, we'd be in the area for several days the end of November. We couldn't board the train in Wolf Creek, where he was based out of. Too many railroad officials around. The helper base at Dolomite was also out. Too close to Wolf Creek, and the helper crews would see us board. East of Dolomite, Norcross was too remote to get to, and from there the long hard climb to KR started. Obviously, you don't stop a 14,000-ton train on the mountain unless you have to. That left KR. It was at the top of the mountain, nobody was around, and even though the train would be stopped on the upgrade, as soon as it started rolling again it would be heading downhill. I trusted Scott's word on this. After all, he ran those trains every day, and he knew how the train would respond from a dead stop at each location. We gave him the number of my parents' phone, so that on Black Friday he could call us to let us know when he left Wolf Creek.

I was looking forward to the short, three-day work week. Monday was the usual short day. The ladies had their usual hen party, with the kitchen table full of cards and liquor bottles. Kenny and I beat it downstairs with the kids and let the ladies have their fun. We ran trains with the kids as the sounds of 5 black women laughing and enjoying themselves wafted down from above. Thomas and friends sure were getting a workout lately. Later, after we'd put the children to bed and the others had gone home, Shaunice stayed behind to do Shavonda's hair. I sat and chatted with them for a little bit before heading off to bed. Evidently Shaunice was dating somebody, and the two ladies were having a private conversation. I knew I'd be in the way. Plus, I had to run to DuBois in the morning, I needed my sleep.

The next day, after a 13-hour run, I walked in the door tired and exhausted. Shavonda greeted me at the door in the red dress I'd first seen the night we went, the one that showed her cleavage nicely and did little to hide her nipples. She peppered me with kisses, murmuring "I love you" with each one. She pushed me down on the couch, unzipped my pants, and fished out my manhood. "Just sit back and enjoy," she purred, then took me in her mouth.

"Von!" I exclaimed. "The kids!"

"Mama's for the night," she explained. "Tonight's all about you." I could smell something good baking in the oven as she sensually slid my head between her lips. I ran my hand over her straightened hair as she bobbed her head, moaning sensually. She knew the vibrations drove me crazy. Something was up, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

My other hand found its way inside the dress. She was braless, and I gently squeezed her breast and rubbed circles around her engorged nipple. Shavonda raised her head and smiled at me. "You know what that does to me," she said. "Watch it,"

"You know what that does to me," I replied.

"We got all night, boo, she said. "Just lay back and enjoy."

Shavonda worked her magic, keeping me on the very edge. She knew my reactions by heart, and intuitively adjusted her pace. How lucky was I that the woman who ruled my world also loved to give me head? I'd have to return the favor.

Shavonda had me begging for mercy. I had worked the dress off her shoulders and below her breasts, and they jiggled enticingly as she moved. I tried to pull her off my manhood, to get her to shift position so I could taste the sweet nectar I knew flowed between her thighs. But she refused to let go. My hand stroked her hair as she brought me to the edge yet again. I heard a timer ding in the kitchen, and this time Shavonda took me over the edge. She took it all as I flooded her mouth, looking deep into the eyes that had held me spellbound for so long.

Shavonda lifted her head and smiled. She opened her mouth a little to let me see the load I'd just left there, then swallowed, smacking her lips. "Yummy," she said, then added. "I have a surprise for you." She kissed me deep, then stood and let the dress fall the rest of the way to the floor. Wearing nothing but a pair of red panties, she swayed her way to the kitchen with me following on wobbly legs like a love-sick puppy. Turning to me, she said, "Lose the shirt and jeans. You won't be needing them."

With over mitts she pulled a loaf of banana bread from the oven, flipping the bread pan over to let it cool on a rack. Her breasts swayed as she moved, and those curves of hers had my attention. She'd set up the roasting pan on the counter, and lifted the lid to reveal the source of the wonderful aroma I'd been smelling since I'd gotten home. Inside was a pork roast and potatoes, a feast fit for a king, And I was that king. "Tonight, we celebrate," she said, smiling giddily.

"What are we celebrating?" I asked, watching her. She seemed happy, uncharacteristically happy. Almost like the day we found out she was...

"Von?" I asked in astonishment, "Are you...?"

"Pregnant?" she finished the sentence for me. "Yes, we are. We did it, Daddy."

"How long have you known?"

"I took the test this morning," Shavonda smiled at me, the smile that I would take on the world to see. "I'll have to go to the doctor's next week to be sure, but I suspect I'm about three weeks along."

A baby! My queen was having a baby! Maybe we'd have the little boy she wanted this time. I laughed, and hugged her tight, relishing the feel of her bare skin on my own. We held each other for a long time.

"We better eat before the food gets cold," Shavonda said softly. She turned out the lights and lit some candles. The roast was delicious, it must have taken her hours to make, Hot banana bread with butter was also a treat I hadn't had in years. I had loved it as a child. I wondered how she knew.

We ate in silence, each one watching the other. God she was beautiful. Every day I loved her even more, if that were possible. I could picture us now, our own little blended family, a multiracial Brady Bunch. We had the house. The fence was not a picket one, but it was a fence nonetheless. Three children, soon to be four, who loved us as much as we loved them.

"How long did this take to make?" I asked.

"All day," she replied. "I left work when I found out. Bought the roast on the way home. I love you so much."

"Does your Mom know?" I asked.

"Why do you think she has the kids for the night?"

"You know we're going to have to get a minivan now," I said. "Four car seats won't fit in either of our cars."

"We can afford it," Shavonda said. "Besides, I am looking forward to car shopping with you. It'll be the first big thing we've bought together. It will be OUR car, not yours, not mine. Ours."

We made love twice, once in the shower after dinner, and again in the bedroom in the flickering light of her pine scented candles. I tasted her nectar as she went down on me. Exploring her folds with my tongue and fingers I pondered how in nine months I would be watching this very special place release my new child into the world. Strangely, the thought was a huge turn on. Nine months would be August. I wondered if the baby would come on my birthday. If so, I'd be proud to share my day with the baby we'd created together.

Shavonda lay back on the pillows, and I entered her the same way I had the first time. No hands to guide us together. Our bodies found each other on their own. We were made for each other. I gently thrust into her as she writhed in pleasure beneath me. Neither of us wanted it to end, and we rocked together until we were too tired to continue. As usual, her grip on me was so tight I could feel every pleasurable contraction as she worked her way towards her release, I held back as much as I could. Her body felt so good, and as I stared into her eyes I could see the love and lust.