All Comments on 'Love of a Demon Ch. 02'

Hopefully they can consummate their bond before Gab has to deal with the family again if he does.

More please.

Still liking this story but the pace is a little fast. Was expecting some hesitation before Gabriel agreed to be Seth's mate....

Still enjoying it though, looking forward to more :)

Your story is starting to take a downward turn for me. You're moving too fast with these two. It is unbelievable that Gabriel could be that accepting of Seth so quickly and be ready to bond with him when only minutes before he was Terrified. That little blurb of him hearing Seth in his head is not enough to cross the boundary into belief.

And then you have him being happy about spending the rest of eternity with him? Still no background on Gabriel's family, no reason given for their abuse of him.

Good story but Gabriele's reaction to the mating & the fact that he's a demon was kinda quick. I expected fear (I didn't get any from reading it) & more real emotion based on what he's been through. He kinda just took it like ”okay cool” & almost immediately accepted it. I still don't know why he didn't just run away being homeless is better than being abused by people who are suppose to love you. Its not like he couldn't went to a shelter or he could've went away to school or found a job. Anything than just staying were your not wanted, welcomed or loved.

It might be moving fast, but it's possible that Gabriel is also feeling the bond, Also, his life been one of severe abuse being beaten down. It think fighting his feelings for Seth might never have even occurred to him.

I like this as a beginning to a story. I think you have a good work in progress. What you really need is a beta reader. The authors who are now published, each have more than one typically. A beta will point out where you need to fill in details or where something wasn't clear, etc. For example, a comment might be that his reaction, when told he was a demon, might not have been so accepting right away .

I think that seeing wings break out of something's back would scare you.

He may have thought he'd been killed this time after such a violent beating and it might have occurred to him that he was in hell or something. If he were so accepting of such a 'reality' the it would be good to justify why that was. Maybe state that he always believed there was more in the world than what we know of or maybe he just trusted his eyes and he was more open to being anywhere but where he came from. It may have been that the protective, loving feeling from Seth made him feel less worried. The point is, the beta would point out that you needed to explain his seemingly calm reaction.

One big thing would be for him to wonder why his legs weren't burned still and where the other injuries that would come from such a violent beating, are. A note I might make would be to explain whether Seth is in charge. I know when Nathan found him, he and Jasmine talked of telling Seth. I could imagine Gabriel's eyes getting huge when Seth said he'd have to become a demon like him. Though, it is understandable that he'd want to regain his strength before doing so. I think Gabriel would have wanted Seth to ask questions, and lots of them. Seth would probably have had questions too. But, G had just waken from a coma, so they might wait till later. I do think he'd have thanked Nathan for saving him. These are all notes that would be made if I were beta reading for you.

I think that you are wanting to start a new story, so this one wasn't fleshed out like it should be. It sounds like you won't really be focussing on this anytime soon, even if you do post at a later date. That is a shame, b/c it is a good start. I liked how you put in the part about his feeling watched. Was it someone at the table or was there someone lurking who was interested in him. Unless I misinterpreted the comment at the beginning. I think readers will feel cheated or frustrated if the story isn't really fleshed out and finished and I hope you will do so, even if at a later date. While it is more difficult, I know some authors work on multiple stories at a time, but I think as a beginner, concentrating on one will have the best result. Hope to see you finish it at some point!

Unlike the others, I do not think that its too fast.... Considering the fact that they are to be mated it is believable.. From all the type of stories such as this that I've read so far... This is the typical pace... Keep going at it.. 5 stars!

I am loving this story! He was abused by his family and severely beaten by his father because he was gay. He stayed because he did not want to be homeless. I love the fact that he responded to Seth and the feelings he displayed. Some of the best stories on this site are between humans and demons. I see this as a great love story and am looking forward to the twists and turns of this romance. Eagerly waiting for MORE!!

I have been torn in how to comment on this chapter. Now after numerous readings and the passing of several days I am almost back to where I started. There have been more readers and additional comments. I am fascinated with your story and characters. Cannd gave thorough comments and wise guidance. Avidreadr pulled me back from making some. Gabriel's background, his awful life will have him accept kindness more quickly. I remain with issues from the awakening of Gabriel to the fear of seeing Seth's wings through Seth's explanation of being a demon and not being in hell. This section was lacking in clarity and detail. The mating material, questions, discussions, and answers all were part of the theatrical 'Suspension of Disbelief". I believe that all of the reader's comments were valid. Let us all continue to appreciate tac_naynwaffles' time, efforts, imagination and desire to complete the story.

To author and commenters alike. I hope your muse helps you continue this story. There is obviously much, much more to tell.

I loved it. it was very good when will there be more to the series. i hope soon.

I hope that you take the comments in the vein of help and not criticism or an attack. Many of the commentors are either beta readers like myself, whose job is to point out stuff that might need more explaining or that may not feel right etc. And there are the authors like Avid who can comment from that point of view. I think all of us come wanting to offer you encouragement and advice for making it the best work possible. I read it again before moving on to 3 next. I'm glad the story continues. There has to be so much for these guys to get to know one another. The history of Seth leaves room for an exciting story. I look forward to finding out where you take it!

You're doing a great job with it.