All Comments on 'Love of Music Ch. 01'

Keep it up! Glad they didn't hop in the sack immediately. ~Chargergirl

James' personality change (i.e., going for his step-sister) seems a little abrupt, but I expect maybe his father situation is drawing it out of him. Or maybe not. Motivation would be a good thing in future chapters.

Chapter 2 please!

All that I ask is that you read chapter 2 carefully before submitting it. otherwise it was a very good start.

$50,000 and they take a Greyhound? A little unbelievable, that. Also, you used "except" for about four different words - need to figure that out. The story itself seems interesting, though.

a real mess this needs a rewrite badly get a good editor and repost it and never post another story without going through an editor

I picked this story to read because I love music. Music is life and life is a song.

I was hoping that it wasn't going to the typical incest story, and my hope was rewarded with a rich little tale. Your characters are well rounded and believable.

The plot was nicely done, and I want to read more, I want to know what happens to them.

I do hope you plan to continue this story, it would be a shame if you didn't.

So I was only 19 when I wrote this. Hopefully when I take a stab at Chapter 2 this weekit will be much more well rounded in plot and with less grammatical errors.

do us and yourself a favor and delete this and all stories and run them through a good editor then repost them. never ever post a story without going through a good editor first. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND FINISH WHAT YOU START IN A TIMELY FASHION.