All Comments on 'Love of My Life Ch. 02'

Hey... I liked the story, keep up with the good writing!

Okay, first I really need to say that I normally would NEVER comment on a piece that I didn't like. I hate hate HATE those people who go around with nothing positive to say about anyone's work, and generally I think that if you don't have anything good to say you shouldn't say it.

However...

In my honest opinion, I'd suggest that you either scrap the story, or, preferably, re-write the chapter leaving out the hitting and rape. In this chapter, this man is not lovable. I understand that SHE loves him, but I can't see that many of your writers will be able to empathize with him. While it's true that some women will stay in an abusive relationship because they love their partners, they are not happy women. They are not women who we want to be like. And a man who responds to a problem - ANY problem - primarily with violence is not a man who makes a good romance hero. A man who rapes a woman DOES NOT LOVE HER. Trust me. If you love someone, you don't do something to deliberately hurt them, not like this.

That said, I understand that what we read on here is fiction, not life. I also know that I'm probably a little sensitive on the subject - a few months ago I was raped by a man who I thought was a friend, who I was attracted to, and I can tell you that I no longer have any warm fuzzy feelings towards him whatsoever. A man who rapes and beats his women is not sexy in the slightest. But I DO understand that there are some people who find rape erotic, and if that's what you want to write - well, do what you will. But I think it would be a shame, because you're better than that.

Why did I tell you this? Because you show so much promise, and you have great potential. Chapter 1 was lovely - sure, Jason was a little overbearing, but that was okay. Even in the earlier parts of chapter 2, when he was yelling at her and accusing her of fucking other men and having angry sex, he was still likable, because you could tell that he loved her. But slapping her and then raping her - that crossed a line.

The rape section apart, I like your work. You have a talent for writing both characters and scenes that bring your story to life, and show a powerful eroticism without sounding cliched. It's not often that I come across a scene that I want to picture myself in, but Chapter 1 did it for me.

If you decide to keep writing rape, then please, please put a warning at the beginning of your stories. I know literotica doesn't require it, but it's a simple courtesy to your readers and prevents us from getting attached to characters who then turn around and bite us in the ass. ;-) They're strong characters, though, so I hope you decide to give them the relationship they deserve.

Good luck.

Really good! You should finish it

PLEASE FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to see what happens between her and jason..................................

Wonderful story .....

Hellooo. Please continue this. Its been quite a while

I would love to see this continued!! There's so many ways you could go with it.

Like Jason gets a job at another school and wants to make their relationship public. Or Chris wants to begin a relationship.

I am so attracted to Jason's character even though he's basically the bad guy.

Please please please! I will check back daily to see another installment of this story!

Love the story.. You should update a new chapter

Love to see you with jason after all he is ur first. Choose jason

May be even get knocked up by him

I think Jason is the one she/ you need to stick with Chris seems cool but Jason is where it's at but i need her to get some backbone and stand up more for herself cause I love Jason but he cant expect her not to be a kid without male friends if he wont be seen out with her.. I would be kissing someone else that i can be seen out with...