Love Thy Enemy

Shela seemed to settle down at my promise, but tensed up at the opening of my next words.

"One more thing, I'll postpone the divorce proceedings until you're fully recovered. This is to give you the chance to talk with me about your side of things- before we're divorced."

Her face contorted as several emotions played across it, until only a deep sadness lay upon it once more.

"I know it isn't what you want to hear, but It's the best I can do. Anyway, I'll see you again in a couple of days. Bye, Shela."

I hurriedly walked out without waiting for Richards to return.

I saw the same doctor that had lead us to the ICU, standing near the main desk for the floor. I started toward the doctor, fully intending to discuss Shela's condition and treatment with her. I was wondering why her doctors hadn't completely filled me in on Shela's condition. With all the times I'd called and spoken to them they'd never once actually gone into the specifics of neither her condition nor her appearance.

My arm was grabbed, stopping me, and at the same instant I heard a voice ask, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to talk to the doctor." I said while I tried to pull free.

"No, you're not! You can call the doc later, or talk to her when you return in the couple of days you told your wife you would. Right now, we are, as in, I am, leaving." stated Richards, in a voice that brooked no argument.

Ignoring his last statement, I said accusingly, "You were spying?" while I gave him, what I thought, was a withering look. In return, he gave me a pained look.

"Nope. But, I was about to re-enter the room when I heard you talking. So, I waited for you to finish. I can't help that you talk so loudly. Now can I?"

I gave him another withering glare, but cops must be immune to such things, as all he did was grin and say, "Come on, I'll buy lunch this time."

~N~

Despite my insistence for an explanation upon leaving the hospital, it wasn't until after we had stopped for lunch and were several minutes down the road, when the Lieutenant finally broke his silence.

"As much as I hate to admit it, you were right about the hit and run on your girlfriend not being an accident." began Richards. I started at this unexpected revelation. I decided not to rub it in. Well, maybe just a little.

"I could say I told you so, but being that I'm the bigger man, I won't. So, did Shela finally admit to it?"

Richards turned to give me a baleful look, then back to watching the road before replying.

"No. You're completely off-base there. As I told you before."

I shrugged at his 'I told you so'. "Okay. So how was Shela involved?"

"She wasn't."

"Are you saying she had nothing to do with Amber being hit by that car?"

"Yup" replied the policeman with a cheerfulness that irritated me.

"Okay, so if Shela wasn't involved then how did she know who did it?" A niggling thought wormed its way to the forefront of my mind and exploded.

"Wait! Was it that guy- Gary Strauss or whatever, that did it? Is that why you were asking me about him?"

"Strausberg."

""What?"

"The suspect's name is Strausberg. Gary Evan Stausberg."

"Okay. Did he do it?"

"It seems so." he answered with more cheer than such a answer warranted.

The Lieutenant's calm and upbeat disposition grated on my nerves, making me irritated. In fact, the last six months had, of a sudden, at that moment, become a gut wrenching mind boggling ordeal. I felt like puking up the greasy cheeseburger and fries that were lunch. Instead, I swallowed my bile and took slow easy breaths. Taken individually - Amber's hit and run, Shela being off the road- each incident was emotionally manageable, with Shela's being more so than Amber's. To be informed there was another individual involved that deliberately tried to kill both women crumbled to dust my carefully held and cherished belief concerning Shela. I had been so certain Shela had done it, I'd have bet my life on it. It took some effort to accept the policeman's words and begin coming to terms with it. And, that brought to mind some questions that I didn't think could be answered so readily. Several seconds passed before I felt calm enough to return to the discussion.

Before I could say anything, Richards, with some concern in his voice, asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You don't look fine. I don't want you being sick in my car, so if you need me to pull over-"

"I'm fine!" I said loudly, interrupting Richards.

With one final speculative glance, he shrugged, saying, "Okay. You're fine."

"You were saying that this guy, Gary Strausberg, ran Shela off the road and hit Amber. If Shela is not involved, then how does she know all that?"

"She saw him."

"Wait! That doesn't make sense. She saw him run Amber over and she never reported it? Come on. Does that sound like what a innocent person would do, Lieutenant Richards?"

"At this time I'm not ready to conclude anything based on the scant evidence at hand. Until I thoroughly check out your wife's story I'm not going to accuse her of anything." I tried to interrupt, but Richards talked right over my objections. "I grant you, she could be lying through her teeth. Until I can compare the forensic evidence gathered at the scene of both incidents, I will just have to operate as if she's telling the truth. Believe me, Mister Pleasent, I want to know the truth as much as you, but that truth must be supported by the evidence."

I mulled over what the cop said. Did I want the truth, or did I just want to see Shela pay for something she might not have done? It should have been a no brainer, especially because of the epiphany I'd had in Shela's room, but surprisingly I wasn't sure of my motivation. I shook myself saving such musings for another time, turning my attention back to Richards.

"Okay. What else did she say- or blink- to you?"

"That Gary Strausberg ran her off the road. And that's all I got from her. It isn't easy trying to get information from a person who can't talk and can't use their hands to write. Hopefully, she'll soon be able to do one or the other, if so, then at that time, I'll need to question her again."

"What about Gary Strausberg? What do you plan on doing about him? If what Shela's indicated is the truth, he's gone after two women and nearly killed them. What's to stop him from going after either one of them again?"

Richards gave me a funny look as he replied. "I've already sent out a ATL and asked the staff of both hospitals to limit visitation to only known family members. I've also asked for a uniform to be placed outside your girlfriend's hospital room. As soon as we've located Strausberg, we'll bring him in for questioning."

I'm sure I wore a incredulous expression at his explanation, for he offered, with a slight shrug, "I called it in when I left your wife's room. It's what I was doing as you talked with her."

"Okay. I have another question. What is ATL?"

For whatever reason, my question had Richards laughing. "It's police shorthand for 'attempt to locate' a person. In this case, it refers to finding Mister Strausberg."

We didn't say much after that. Each of us lost in our respective thoughts. Mine were trying to understand what I felt in regard to Shela's story. So with silence as our third companion we arrived in The City.

Chapter Nine

After Richards and I left the hospital, the nurse that first had deciphered Shela's speech, came in to check on her. Apparently, Shela had somehow managed to convey the following to her, which I was later informed of. Thus these are her unspoken words.

The pain flowed and ebbed. Sometimes it was bad. Very bad. At other times, it was bearable. Just barely.

It was the worst when I tried to talk. Some parts of my jaw -according to one of the doctor's- the temporomandibular joints, were broken and had to be surgically sculpted to fit right. It was like having a dislocated jaw, only way worse. Either way, I was unable to move my jaw very much, making chewing impossible. Talking had become a little easier, but my tongue would still not move as it should to make the words I so desperately wanted to be heard and understood. I was still nearly unintelligible. Even to my own hearing my attempts at talking sounded so much like gibberish. It was all very frustrating and filled me with a sense of helplessness and anger.

My hearing was better, but not by much. I'd lost almost all hearing in my right ear. The little ear bones had been damaged and caused what my doctors called conductive deafness. I could hear only the loudest sounds and just barely, at that. My left was okay, but words and other common noises sounded very differently from what I remembered when I had two good ears. I was told a specialized hearing aid, implanted in my bad ear, could improve my hearing close to normal.

The worst of it was my reduced vision. I no longer had a right eye. My left was always the weakest of the two, and now it was telling. My eye watered constantly from the strain. I looked like a weepy-eyed pirate on a hunger strike. The doctors explained I would eventually get a prosthetic eye, but only after all re-constructive surgery was completed. Something to do with the shape and size of my orbit changing with each successive surgical procedure.

It is so easy to take for granted that which we are born with and expect to have for a lifetime. I no longer simply accepted things, and I no longer took things for granted. Despite my angry frustrations at my physical disabilities, I was also happy that I still had what I had.

When I first came to, after all those months of being in a coma, I could not understand, then later, believe what had happened to me. At first, I felt numb all over and couldn't move. Then the pain hit. Something in my head hurt, then slowly the pain shifted to my jaw. I guess I must have been trying to talk, or probably scream. Nothing came out, yet, I saw two nurses next to me. One was moving her mouth, and I began to hear her words, although, her voice sounded tinny.

The first couple of days after wakening were filled with tests and exams. Although I could not talk, somehow the doctors were able to determine I was mentally able.

I received one of my biggest shocks when one of the nurses began to feed me. Through a tube in my stomach!

They called it a nasogastric tube, and yes, they explained it all to me. Why they had to do it and how long I would be using it, and...

It was a nightmare. Only, I couldn't wake up from it.

I think the worst part of it all was having no one visit me. As far as I knew none of my family had come to see me. No friends. No one. I hadn't expected anyone to come see me, yet, I had hoped someone would. Then the memories of my accident came to me.

Despite the pain, I began shouting. One of the nurses eventually understood me, because I heard one explain to another that she thought I was talking about the accident. Seeped in pain, for one brief moment I was overjoyed. Someone had understood me!

They promptly sedated me, and did so again, the second time I tried to talk about my accident and ended up just screaming in near insanity. I was so frustrated, so angry and so helpless, that I wasn't able to keep it together. Finally, after being sedated the last time, I shut up about it.

Then Joe came.

I was sleeping, or trying to, but my mind was in never ending turmoil. I was so alone and so lonely, and with my injuries, I just wanted to die. I would have killed myself when I awoke from the coma, only I couldn't move and I doubted any of the medical staff would help me do that, even if I could have communicated my desire to them.

I don't know what prompted me to open my eye. Maybe I sensed someone other than the hospital staff in the room. I like to think it was a resurgence of the bond of love I had with Joe that sensed his presence.

Whatever it was that prompted me to open my eye, when I did, I glanced around until I saw Joe standing there. He looked so good. I was so happy! I said his name. I tried to. I said it over and over, trying so hard to pronounce that one short word. For some unknown reason it was so important to do that. Then, I heard a sound- Well, words being spoken by someone else, but they were spoken so low my diminished hearing couldn't make them out. I looked around the room and I saw a stranger. He didn't look very happy.

I swiveled my eye back to Joe and I heard him say my name! I couldn't have been happier when I heard my name come from his lips. I was so excited, I started to talk. Joe's eyes opened in shock and then a crestfallen look came over his face. But then, Joe's face lit up. He explained his idea of how I could communicate and I was beyond happiness at that point. My Joe, in an instant, had came up with something that even my good doctors hadn't thought of.

I was only too glad to comply.

Joe went on to explain who the stranger was so I turned my eye to the policeman.

I was both surprised and excited at the prospect of finally being able to be understood about what had happened to me. I was going to be able to share the person's identity who had run me off the road, nearly killing me. It was the same person whom had hit and killed Amber. Only, it wasn't until I'd seen him again, right before he ran his car into mine, that I recognized him. He'd been a short-term boyfriend of Amber's several years ago. One of many she'd had and dumped.

I'd had some time to think since I'd awakened, and at first, although I'd had but vague impressions instead of clear memories of my own 'accident', I'd also had a strong sense of 'deja vu' about it.

Initially, I'd thought it had been an accident, but after giving it some thought, I was certain Gary had tried to kill me. At first, I wasn't sure why he would want to kill me. Then after some more thought, and on remembering Amber's accident, it hit me. I'd seen the entire thing, as I spied on Joe and Amber. After the car hit Amber, it sped around the corner and right by me. I saw the face of the driver for a split second as the car flew by me. Much the same way I'd seen his face when Gary ran me off the road, into that ravine.

At that point I was sure Gary was trying to kill the only witness to his murder of Amber. Which meant it hadn't been an accident. Why he killed Amber, I had no idea. The police could figure that out.

After Joe and the policeman left, I was vastly relieved that someone in authority now knew of what had transpired with Gary. I was also hugely elated that Joe had talked to me. It was well outside of the perfect situation I had imagined when meeting Joe, but at least he had finally spoken to me after so long a time. I still wanted him to return to me, but the overwhelming obsession I'd had about Joe, was now gone. In its place was a deep sadness, it was alike a old sorrow that felt far distant from the then present time of my hospitalization.

Looking at Joe, right before he'd left, I knew, deep in my heart, he would not be coming back to me. I knew that a divorce would soon become a fact of our broken marriage. Strangely enough, I was no longer engulfed by a emotional abyss at the thought of divorce. Yes, it hurt. And yes, I was still angry, but it was no longer directed at Joe. Or even Amber. I was angry at myself, at my actions that had caused my problems. At the thought of my long time dead friend, a long held grief hit me. It wasn't that I wailed in anguish, but my eyes blurred and I felt a trickle of hot wetness on my face. I might have even cried out softly. Old memories of Amber and myself flowed pleasantly through my mind, and as each memory passed in review, Amber's visage pulsed and with each beat, it grew dimmer and less real.

The doctors had explained that I might feel changes in me that I would not otherwise have had, if not for my head injuries. I wasn't sure if what was happening was caused by my injuries or my acceptance of Amber's death. I didn't bother trying to figure it out. I simply hoped that I wouldn't forget her entirely.

~N~

"It's true, Amber."

Amber looked at me with a searching expression. I'm sure it wasn't because she didn't believe me, it was because she didn't believe the situation.

"How do you know? The cop could have made it up. They do that you know. Make up stories so they can catch you in a lie."

"Well, this cop is a lot of things, but I don't think he's a liar. And who's he going to catch in a lie. They haven't caught Gary, yet. I'm sure they will, soon, but until they do, it's why they've a cop at your room door." I explained patiently, for the third time.

"Anyway, how did therapy go today?" I asked, changing the subject, at least for the moment.

"It went really well. I'll be ready for- For my- You know. For my leg. I'll be ready real soon. Doctor Simpson and the other doctor, Doctor Chavez, both say I still need to regain more of my muscle mass and tone it up, before I'm ready to try walking. Both doctors are confident that I'll be walking by next month. Then it's months of more therapy."

"Amber, that sounds remarkable. I'm sure the doctors are correct in their assessment, and you'll be up and around in no time. Look how far you've progressed since you've woken. Not many people can leap out of bed, after months of inactivity, and be at the point you are after only three weeks. And prosthetics have come a long way from a pirate's wooden peg." I had to stop talking because Amber had broken out into a fit of laughter. "What's so funny? All I said was a- Oh!"

Amber laughed even harder when I caught on to what she'd found so hilarious.

After a few moments, her laughter died down to the occasional giggle. "Well, I'm glad you're in a good mood, baby."

"Oh, Joe! I'm always in a good mood when you're around. And once I'm out of here and back at my place, well, things will look even better." said Amber with a resigned sigh.

I had to weigh what I was about to tell Amber. I wasn't sure how she'd take my news, and right now I didn't want to cause any further distress to this beautiful creature.

"Me, too. I'll be glad when you're out of this place." I said with extra feeling.

Amber smiled at me. "Joe, I know how you feel about hospitals. I pray that you never have to be in one."

"Thanks, baby. But, I don't plan on doing anything that'll land my ass on a hospital bed." I said, returning her smile. I'd come to a decision, so in a more serious vein I broached the subject that I'd dreaded.

"Amber. I have a couple of things to tell you." I said solemnly, while setting my gaze onto the bed's woven white coverlet.

I guess my seriousness spooked Amber, because suddenly her playful demeanor was replaced by grave concern. "What is it, Joe? Is it about Shela? Are you and her going to..."

"No, Baby! No! It's nothing to do with Shela." I looked at her face. The nearly seamless face she'd had before the accident, had been replaced by one that had constant lines running about her mouth, and the side of her eyes. Even her forehead had a few frown lines. Now, her face was deeply etched by all the lines. It didn't detract from her beauty, but it did seem like it was a more hardened beauty.

It was her eyes that seemed the most changed. Before, when they'd flash with anger, even fury, there'd been a clean sense to them. Now, although they appeared the same there was something else added that filled them. It was a constant look of apprehension. The type of anxiety that persists when a person isn't sure of what next bad thing was to befall them.

"It's nothing bad, Baby. I just want to know if you'll come to stay with me at my place?" I hurried on before Amber could respond. I had to convince her. "Your parents are already there, and you'll need someone around to help you. At least until you can get used to- Used to being on your own again. Since your folks are already there I thought it would be easier for them and for you, if you moved in. It would only be for a little while and-"