All Comments on 'Loveless Nights Ch. 01'

It might have been a reasonably good story if the writing wasn't so appalling.

Get yourself an editor.

There should be a little revising. Another thing is being realistic most 18 yr olds aren't that shy especially if they have had their first yr of college.

Overall: good story

A good story line but the writing was so stilted and stiff. I agree... get a good editor.

She doesn't want a divorce cause it would affect her kids that are grown with lives of their own. They could care less if the parents divorce as long as they're both happy. Instead of confronting the husband about how he's acting she fucks her son. Lols but she doesn't want to affect him negatively about the divorce. But instead its okay to use him & brings him the middle of her fucked up marriage. Her thinking ”he won't leave me” or whatever makes her seem crazy. He's an 18 yr old virgin who wasn't even thinking of you sexually until then. He's not gonna settle down with his old ass Mom forever. He's gonna wanna have kids, get married & more importantly fuck more/other pussy. Lols he won't betray you is what she was thinking of course kids usually don't betray their parents. Its kinda hard to plus he definitely can't betray you the way your husband can so that comparison is stupid.

The story was okay it needs an editor. But that's just my thoughts on the Mom she's pretty pathetic in her line of thinking.

... but your story has potential. I humbly offer my services as an editor. I'll offer your first paragraph as my CV.

Pre-edit:

Helen Lindberg is a 39 year old woman, she lives in a large house in one of the more affluent districts of the City. She is married, and has two children. Her husband is currently away, he is not often at home. The reason for this is that his work schedule demands he be on business trips out of town quite often. Helen has noticed over the past few years, he has become more and more distant. He seemed less interest in spending time with her, and their children.

Post-edit:

Helen Lindberg, 39, married and the mother of two children, lived in a large house in one of the more affluent districts of the city. Her husband was... away. Lately, he always seemed to be away. Between a demanding work schedule and frequent business trips he was simply just not around very much. Over the past few years he had become distant, less interested in spending time with her and their children.

Lemme know.

The lad seems to be very naive, and could use some training from a very loving mum to help him in pleasing women.

The only problem I see; is mum is a bit on the naive side also, and she has to come out of her shell, and become the lover the lad needs to teach him correctly.

Once mum has him trained, she will have the attentive lover she has always wanted.

I would like to see more soon.

Thanks for the read.

Keep Writing!,,, editors are optional man. Just let it flow. Lol tim

Lacks the excitement that authors such as Ahabscribe and KLRXO bring to their writings. This reads like a trip to the dentist.

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I enjoyed your story and will be glad to see more. Thanks for posting.

Took a while to get started, but closed very realistic and quite believable. I see this was a 2013 story.. I looked for the mother to continue with educating her son, and bringing him into complete manhood. Hope at some point you will pen the rest of the story.

Thoroughly enjoyed the story. Plot was logically developed and believable. It is unfortunate the mother had never asked her son about anything personal until she realized her husband had a lover. Once she realized she was truly alone, she turns to her son. She is forced to recognize he is no longer a child but a young man. Likewise, for the son supposedly being so smart, I find it amazing that he never took the initiative to develop a more personal relationship with his mother. Although written about 10 yearss ago, I would like to see the author return and develop this story.