All Comments on 'Lucky Man Ch. 12'

Thank you so much for posting the next part of your amazing story Mentalcase. I've been following your stories since JT6OU. I don't think i can explain how entertained i have been with them. You even inspired me to write my own (doubt i'll ever post i, i suck). Please keep up the GREAT work and trust that i will keep reading them. P.S. Please post more pics of outfits on your tumbler. Thank you.

This story was so hot! Your stories are easily the best on this site. I always look forward to a new story from you. Keep up the great work!

I’m disappointed in the direction you took Kelly’s character in this chapter. You’ve shut her down and expanded Kara’s storyline. Lucky Man is Duncan for having Kelly and until now we’ve witnessed the growth of her sexuality. Now she’s only into bj’s. She should be doing the things you have Kara doing to expand her character. Sadly, you’ve missed on this chapter.

Love this story, but not the direction you headed in this chapter. This is just my own personal feelings however, and it in no way distracts from your writing abilities. I just felt the story took something away from Kelly and Duncan by expanding more on Kara's position and less with Kelly deferring to blow jobs. It loses something in this transition for me. I enjoy the closeness they share in their interactions with the entire group, and not in just so much about Kara.

I agree with the above two comments to an extent. I was torn writing this chapter as it features Kara so much and Kelly only a bit. I amp up the action in the next chapter, or the one after for Kelly. I can't remember which at the moment.

Kelly takes it slow as she's supposed to be the shy one. I know that's a little ridiculous at this point, but for my money, there always has to be little hurdles that they need to overcome for this particular story to have meaning and be interesting. There's no real conflict going on, so the story centers around these little milestones. I honestly didn't really want Kelly to swap yet, and I wanted to focus on just oral sex for them, but I screwed up that plan when I had Duncan with another woman so soon.

My original plan was for the both of them to start much slower, soft swap, oral sex only, and then after a few chapters, swap completely, but still keep it slow.

My fears with that plan were losing my reader base because I was taking too long with the action. It's struck a nice balance, I think, however, and I'm pleased with how it's turning out.

In Chapter 13, Kelly has a scene with someone she hasn't fool around with before. It only a little naughty, but I think you guys will like it.

Chapter 14 features Kelly more heavily, and I've really just focused the majority of what I've written on her. I think you guys will like it.

I appreciate all of the comments, and I love that you guys like my story. Thanks!

-M

check out my profile for a link to my tumblr. I posted a picture of what inspired one of Kelly's naughty outfits if that piques your interest.

Kelly now likes to give blowjobs and lot of other things...but still does not swallow? Just seems off, when most of the other women in the story do,

How much longer before Ch.13

While obviously fantasy, it is not jarringly so.

The way Kelly ruminates on the differences between cocks, orgasms and sex in general is very hot. She is the star of the story and I do hope to see more of her in coming chapters :)

J