All Comments on 'Lucky Man Pt. 01'

Not only is it far, far, far too long but it's also ridiculously stupid. By the way if I worked in the building trade for over a decade and had been wronged like he had then you can bet your arse that Ruth would find herself getting attacked and having her face carved up like a Sunday roast so that the outside matched the inside.

Hell, even I was fucking Ruth. Who wasn't? Oh, yeah, your main character, who you created, the moron. Are you so inexperienced in life and in relationships that you think a normal person could be deceived this long and to this depth? To make this plot believable your character has to have an IQ of 83. It sounds like he was by far the major influence in his daughters lives as they were growing up, but then they turn on him, and one starts fucking her grandfather, and this guy has no clue? I will thank you that you made the bulk of the story so wordy, with pointless side stories and interactions, that it made it very easy to skim through and miss nothing of value. Of course, skipping the whole story would have been the best route. What a wanker.

and because you pissed of dear annony the main ass hole on here

That I didn't like much. Or maybe I should say I didn't like what he did. It made him pretty spineless to run out on his daughters. Yes, he paid for their education. And while he might not have been their sperm donor, he was still their Father and I'm sure they missed him. Of course we don't KNOW what they think. Nor do we know what their Mother thinks as you don't delve into those issues. He simply took the money and ran away. Not an endearing quality.

pure idiocy. skipped most of it. author must be retarded.

Five minutes into the preacher's sermon, Mr. Twain was some impressed by it, he decided to put $400.00 (in 1901 dollars) into the collection. But the preacher droned on and on in a stiflingly hot room. With each passing minute, Mark Twain decided to put in less and less. Hours later, when the collection plate was passed to him, he reached in and took some money out.

Your 11 page screed (American term: long discourse or essay, not British dialect for piece of cloth) struck me the same way! You could have told this tale in three pages.

One thing stood out to me, the main character left home because of his father's physical abuse. He beat his wife and put his son in the hospital. So when the MC has kids, whose home does he send them to during the day? Surely not the home he fled from at the age of sixteen after being hospitalized? Among all the poor judgement calls in this story, that one is particularly bad.

Decent story. Very well written. Then it went to hell on pp10-11. The entire conclusion is, of course, absurd. This effort would be a hands down winner of an LW parody contest.

LWlurker

You can basically skip the first six pages of this story and don't miss anything of it, thanks to the author continuously repeating everything multiple times.

Also, despite this being one of the most depraved and devastating betrayals I came across on this site so far, it is suprisingly hard to sympathize with this MC as his behavior and 'decision making skills' are... not exactly comprehensible.