All Comments on 'Lucky Pt. 02 Ep. 04'

I keep wondering when they are all going to end up preggers together.

I truly enjoy your story, writing and descriptions.... but every now and then things go off the rails, so to speak, and it is something proper editing could and should catch. Considering that you are donating a page or two every few days, on average, can you not have someone review your wording before posting?

Here is an example, from this piece, that takes readers out of the story and into critique mode (edited to make the point):

“... should know as if a language was a base instinct, but he didn't take any words for” a coarse-grained igneous rock composed chiefly of orthoclase and albite feldspars and of quartz, usually with lesser amounts of one or more other minerals, as mica, hornblende, or augite “granite.”

Sort of breaks the flow... ;-/

Lol. I love the definition to express your example. I purchased a program that catches a lot of these issues. Unfortunately, I purchased the program after finishing this series and have already submitted part 2 to its conclusion. I'm planning on going back and editing all of my Lucky and Within the Shadow stories in the future, but have been focused on Within the Shadows Pr. 02 recently. Thank you for the comment and I hope to fix these issues soon.