Lue to Lucy and Back - Complete and Expanded

He held on and my body twisted on his hand as my orgasm swept through me. I slowly came down from my climax and returned to normal thinking. This time had been a new experience. With fucks one and two, Ray had done me. Number three was different. I was now much more than just a fantastic fuck. This time I had been in control. I had fucked him.

But I was also wearing visible evidence of where Ray had been. I had allowed him to mark me. Would this be a step too far for Don? How far could a husband let an errant wife go before he said 'enough'?

**********

'If it's yours, it will come back to you'

After I had calmed down from fucking Ray, we lay side by side on the floor of the kombi quietly kissing. I stretched my hand down and cupped his scrotum. I rolled his testicles around. I was having fun taking them as a handful. And the thought of all the hopeful little sperm they produced swimming around inside my canal, trying to make their way further up and find an egg, only to find themselves frustrated by my IUD, was a peculiar turn-on for me. So I rolled each ball around, and I squeezed them both gently as we talked and kissed.

It was Ray who called time. He had to get home before Julie realised how late it was, and so our night came to an end.

Don was awake when I crawled into bed. "How did it go Lue?" I told him it was good and said that I would tell him everything tomorrow.

Don had to put the seats back into the kombi on Saturday morning, so I didn't get to tell him about my night with Ray until later. When I loaded the kids in the back, I realised that I had left the pillow and the blanket on the floor, but they were nowhere to be seen now. A feeling of panic hit me - had the children seen them? How would I explain them to the kids?

Later on Don told me that they were in the laundry and the blanket really could use a trip through the washing machine. A feeling of relief swept over me and I thanked him for removing them before the kids found them. I whispered to him that the blanket had seen good service during the evening.

On Sunday night, Don and I made love. Once again, it was getting better and better. He noticed the marks on my breast and inner thigh. He laughed. "Do you think he did it to let me know where he had been? Maybe I should do the other side to send a message back to him that I have equal rights."

The following week, Don had an interstate trip that kept him away overnight on Tuesday. I told Ray that if he could come over to our house on Wednesday morning after I got the kids off to school, I would be very happy to entertain a visitor. It was the era when shag pile carpets were very fashionable. So, as I wasn't yet prepared to 'entertain' him in the marital bed, and as the shag pile carpet in the lounge room was quite comfortable, we did it on the floor.

I told Don when he came home that evening. He was concerned that we shouldn't do anything that might be seen by the neighbours. I assured him that there had been no public displays of affection.

Julie was due to give birth, and Ray had arranged a week off work to be with her. She went into labour very early on Saturday morning and Ray took her to the hospital. I picked up their son and took him to stay with Julie's parents for a few days. Julie suffered complications with the birth and the obstetrician had to use forceps and make an incision during delivery. However a lovely little girl arrived safely, so Ray and Julie now had a pigeon pair.

Back at the hospital on Saturday afternoon, I suggested to Ray and Julie that Ray should come and stay with Don and me until Julie was discharged from hospital. He would at least get decent meals that way.

We collected his things from their house and drove home. We had dinner together and I put the kids to bed. Our conversation afterward was strange. We talked about the baby, we talked about working in the factory, we talked about Don's business. We even talked about politics! We didn't talk about what Ray and I had been doing together.

I set up the spare room for Ray, and went in there to kiss him goodnight. Our hands wandered a little, but I felt that I shouldn't stay there too long and went back to the main bedroom where Don was already in bed waiting for me. "A bit of a funny night," he said. "He's a bit tense being here and knowing that I know about your relationship. I think he expects me to suddenly tell him to get out and leave you alone."

We snuggled up together and drifted off to sleep. On Sunday Ray and I went over to the hospital and spent most of the day visiting Julie and the baby. When we returned we had dinner, and I put the kids to bed. We sat talking for a while and then, while Ray was out of the room, I went over and sat on Don's knee. "Could I have him with me in bed tonight?" I whispered. "Would you take the spare room so we can have the big bed?"

Ray came back into the lounge room. Don nuzzled into my hair and whispered in my ear. "OK, you can be his for tonight." Then a low chuckle. "But I will want you to make it up to me all next week." Don stood up and went into our bedroom to get his clothes for Monday morning. He had an early appointment with a client.

I told Ray to go to the main bedroom while I went to the spare room to get his things and kiss Don goodnight. Don was in his pyjama pants and sitting on the bed. I sat beside him to give him a kiss. He pulled me in close to make it a deeper kiss than I intended. He put a hand on my knee and started to slide it up my leg under my skirt. I stopped him and said "No, please, not tonight. I can't really do this with you when I am going to be with him." "OK" he said, disappointment in his voice. "Tonight you're his." It was the first hint of disappointment I had heard from Don.

I stood up and Don said "Enjoy yourself. I want to hear all about it tomorrow afternoon." I left him and went to join Ray. This was yet another step into territory where I hadn't been before. I was about to have sex in the marital bed with this man, while my husband was in the next room. I pictured in my mind Don lying there as quietly as possible, on the other side of the wall, straining his ears to hear any sounds of the mating he knew would be happening in the bed his wife normally shared with him. But the lust bubbling around inside me soon pushed aside any misgivings I may have had.

When I went into the bedroom and closed the door, Ray was sitting on the edge of the bed, still in his clothes. "He's OK, you don't need to worry." I said as I pulled off his T-shirt top. "Stand up" and I removed his jeans and underpants.

He lay back on the bed. "Move over," I said. He was lying on Don's side and somehow that wouldn't have been right. It wasn't until a few days later that I thought of why this was so. Tonight I would have Don's side of the bed and Ray would be on my side.

I stripped off my own clothes and moved in beside him. We lay there together, kissing urgently, holding each other close, rolling from side to side and rubbing our bodies against each other in every way possible.

He released me and I lay on my back. His hands and mouth went to my breasts, and I knew I would be wearing several new marks in the morning. Then a hand wandered down over my tummy and he pressed the palm firmly over my mound and curled his fingers around over my labia and between my thighs. I eased my legs open and a finger slipped in between my moist lips and dipped into my well-lubricated vagina. He twirled the finger around, spreading the wetness all over my entrance.

He rolled me onto my front and lifted my hips so that I was kneeling, bottom up and my head down resting on a pillow. "Knees apart" he said and I eased them open to give him access from behind. He reached around underneath me with one hand, cupped my mound and massaged my vulva with his fingers. With the other hand he guided his penis into my vagina.

He rammed it all the way in, his hips slamming against my bottom. He pushed me forward, burying my face in the pillow. He grabbed my hips with both hands and pulled me back firmly against him. Then he started a hard, rhythmic thrusting, slap - slap - slap against me. It worried me that Don must have been hearing the thumping of the bed against the wall.

After a short time, I said "You on top." Doggie style sex is not my favourite. It always seems impersonal to me; the woman in a submissive position with her head down and bum up, offering the man rear access and perhaps even a choice of anus as well as vagina to penetrate her body. Face to face and skin to skin is personal, sensual and much more satisfying. So that's what we did.

I flipped onto my back, spread my legs, and he was quickly back in. He resumed his rhythmic thrusting from above and I responded by pushing up from underneath. We were soon both panting from our exertions. Then I heard the familiar grunting and groaning telling me that I was about to be pumped full. I grabbed him and held him as I too climaxed, crying out as my body bucked uncontrollably below him. Slowly we both calmed down and lay still, Ray holding himself just above me as his penis softened. He rolled off and said "Not bad eh?"

"Yes," I whispered. "But we were pretty noisy. Don must have heard us. I wonder what he is thinking."

We drifted off to sleep, holding each other close. I described earlier how we woke up on Monday morning, so I won't go over it again other than to say that the morning glory was even better than the evening delight. It also turned out to be the last time Ray would fuck me.

Ray and I visited the hospital during the day and that evening he slept in the spare room. Don and I snuggled up together in our bed. We talked quietly about what had happened the night before and laughed about Don walking in that morning. But we didn't make love. Somehow it wasn't something either of us wanted to do while Ray was in the next room, possibly listening. Don said it had been a peculiar feeling for him hearing me with Ray, but he didn't want Ray to hear me being intimate with him.

I said to him that he had sounded a bit disappointed last night when I left him to go to bed with Ray, and that I hadn't intended to make him jealous in any way. He said that he would never be jealous, but he was envious. Jealousy would say that he didn't want me to be giving myself to Ray, but he was quite happy for me to be doing what I wanted. But he did envy Ray's ability to turn me on and would have loved to be able to do the same.

He said it was obvious that what Ray and I had together was new; it was fresh, thrilling and intense. There was no way he could compete with that, and he didn't see himself in competition with Ray anyhow. It was never his intention to try to win. "But I don't intend to lose, either."

Don said it was a bit difficult for a couple who had been together for fifteen years to match that level of excitement. But he believed that the way he and I had grown together over those years had its own kind of magic. What we had was worth hanging on to. He didn't want to lose it and he hoped I didn't either.

I told him I definitely didn't want to lose it, and I loved him now more than ever.

A year ago, I mightn't have said the same thing. What we had at that time was a marriage that was going stale, and then our financial situation had made it worse by making us both irritable and difficult to live with. The astonishing thing was that my actions hadn't destroyed our marriage altogether. With any other man, it probably would have.

How could I not love him?

Donald was guided by what he called the seagull philosophy: "If you love something, set it free. If it's yours it will come back to you. If it doesn't, t never was." (He was heavily into the writings of Richard Bach, who had published Jonathan Livingston Seagull several years earlier.)

I thought over what he had said. Despite everything, despite the fact that I had been thinking only about my own pleasure when I had allowed my relationship with Ray to go as far as it did, my husband still loved me. He loved me enough to allow me to be free like the seagull, but he expected me to come back.

And I knew I had to.

On Tuesday, Ray and I collected Julie and the baby from the hospital and brought them home. We had decided that they should all stay overnight and Ray would take them home tomorrow. When we collected them I looked at the little newborn. She was gorgeous, lying in her capsule on the seat between her mother and father in the back of the kombi. And her father could never lose her, even at that early age she had his eyes and mouth. It confirmed what I already knew - this had to be the end. I couldn't continue this affair, and Ray shouldn't continue it. He had to be a dutiful husband to Julie and a proper father to his son and daughter.

I told him that during the afternoon when we had a few moments alone. He said he had already realised it too and had come to the same conclusion. He said "OK. It was fun while it lasted."

I thought: 'Maybe it was just fun for you, although I hoped you might have seen it as a bit more than that.' But regardless of how he saw it, it was a lot more than that for me. For me it had been a life-changing experience. I had learned quite a bit about myself, and I had learned even more about my husband.

Straying from the path of righteousness had ended up being good for me. I could be all those things I had experienced: A wife, mother, sexy, desirable, and even a fantastic fuck. Could I have learned that without taking the freedom to stray? I doubt it. But what cemented my learning was Don granting me permission to continue enjoying the freedom I had so selfishly taken.

What do you call what he did? Tolerance? No, he didn't just tolerate what I was doing. He encouraged it; setting me free to learn things that would now enrich our marriage.

That evening we had dinner and put Julie and the baby to bed in the main bedroom where they had space in the king size bed. The eldest of our children had chosen that night to occupy the spare bedroom, so Don, Ray and I set up blankets and pillows on the lounge room floor. I was in the middle, with Ray on my right and Don on my left.

Don had been very busy for the past couple of days and soon dropped off to sleep. Ray whispered "How about a bit of goodbye nookie?"

"Yeah, OK. Quiet and no moving." I whispered back.

We wriggled out of our pyjamas as quietly as we could and he moved over on top of me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He reached down and slipped it in. It was firm enough, but not hard. He eased his hands under me and gripped my shoulders. He kissed me, open mouthed.

We just lay there. What we had was an extremely close hug; definitely not a fuck. A man and a woman couldn't get physically closer to each other: Tongue in mouth, chest flattening breasts, skin to skin contact all the way down, penis in vagina, arms and legs gripping each other.

We stayed there together for a long time, breathing gently and mouths the only moving parts as we kissed. Strangely, I thought it was a nice way to bring it all to an end. A bit more than just a farewell kiss on the cheek seemed appropriate after the intensity of what we had been doing. Tomorrow he would take his wife and baby to their home and be a husband and father. Tomorrow I could become a full-time wife and mother again.

And so it ended. It had been twelve weeks since that first night 'talking' in the back of the kombi van. Twelve weeks at the culmination of a year that changed my life. The next morning, as Ray and Julie drove away, I turned to Don and said "It's over."

"I had a bit of an idea that it might have been. What brought it to an end?"

"Neither of us needs it any more. We did our goodbyes last night while you and Julie were asleep." I said.

"Are you sure you don't need it? You have been so alive. I would hate us to just go back to how we were before." He sounded almost disappointed that I had confirmed what he suspected.

"No, that's it". And it was.

And no, we didn't just go back to how we were before.

In 'One Wounded Seagull', which follows on from this story, Lue experiences the other side of the seagull philosophy.