All Comments on 'Lusting for Co-worker'

Congratulations, You took the plunge and published something.

Something I did not, yet, achieve in fiction. Remaining a reader and critic, not a writer :-(

Obviously, its not perfect, i.e. too short and a bit too generic plot wise with little color. On the plus side one could read it without difficulties and -even better- it got better from paragraph to paragraph. So my 2 takeaways:

/1 carry on, practice makes perfect; promising start way to go before talent/commitment/time restraints level off the quality

/2 The 1st paragraph just reads awkwardly. While the sketched plot ideas are not bad, execution is rushed, vage and not exciting enough (i.e. credible sequence /1 new college starting, not noticed /2 after work drinks, first notice /3 accident as trigger - but what was three weeks after /1: /2 or /3 ?). If You want to look back and change something I would focus here. Otherwise just do better in Your next story.

Best wishes, S

it reads like a first story, which isn't bad at all. find yourself an editor and try to get a little familiar with pacing and common tropes, I know your next story will be even better!