by PastelOrange
Our hero should do Katie's ass often.
Th succubus & tentacle stuff is weird.
I'm loving this story. A bit darker than my usual fare but still thoroughly hot and sexy.
Keep it up!
Loving it. Interesting plot and great sex. I love a main character I can relate to.
I love your energy, but hate the errors. The least you could do is read what you have written...
"She gave a pouted and placed a finger on her mouth, her chest pointed out slightly as she spoke in a disappointed sad tone." What the does "She gave a pouted" Even mean? You write with great energy. Your story is fun to read, but please, please, get an editor. Also the ThInGy wItH ThE CaPs. NEVER, EVER DO THAT! it makes the text hard to read and that should never be the case.
If you want to convey a certain tone, use words instead. "GiVE mE MoRe PLeAsE" could also be: "give me more please" she said, her voice quivering with plesure.
I'm curious to find out where this is going, and I hope you will improve.
When can we expect to see some more chapters for this amazing series? I fucking love it so far!