All Comments on 'Maidservant'

This should be in fantasy

Picking a category can be a tricky thing, when a story has elements from multiple and you're forced to choose one and only one.

This could have gone into a number of places. There are fantastical elements here, yes, so it could have gone into the SciFi&Fantasy. There are also TF elements that could have easily placed it into the Transexuals category. However, it also contains strong mind control elements. I don't see how anyone could possibly argue against that.

When faced with a choice, I decided that the MC themes and elements were the predominant ones in this story. Others might disagree with that, but it is the choice I made, and it is one I stand by even in retrospect.

good story. Waiting to see what happens. Also hope you get back to finishing bankrupt series!

Clearly this belongs in the nonhuman category. You know, because he/she ends up french.

Overall I liked it, good to see you still writing. I think if you had a few paragraphs of them actually having sex at the end you'd have a real killer piece. Without that, it feels more like really good setup for another chapter.

Normally, I do not like stories with Cuckolding overtones. I find them so.... Boring. Boring, boring, boring!

They tend to be homoerotic, in the least interesting way possible. Feminine sexuality plays a minor role at best, mostly reduced to a cardboard cut out labeled "Your woman" and another man gets to hold that cut out and you don't, har har har. Aren't you inferior as a man? Har har har.

But you.... You magnificent bastard... With a few literary flourishes, you took what I normally consider an uninteresting, played out trope in erotica, and turned it into something far, far more exciting.

The psychological elements of cuckolding are still there, but the obsessions are not. Lord Chester isn't whipping his cock out and proclaiming it's superiority.

It's not just a screed about how Lord Chester is a superior man, look at your own feeble cock! Pathetic.

No no. It's something far more sensual. He's not just fucking the protagonists wife. He'll magically feminize the protagonist, throwing in a mixture of fantasy and gender-bending, and cuckqueen his wife too!

Then you mix in some mind control! Both parties will, naturally, love every minute of it. He'll take the protagonist in the throes of womanhood while his wife watches, after all.

And I absolutely loved the bit about rooming them together. I can only imagine what sort of mischief Molly and her newly feminized husband will get into together. I have images of them spending their days together in domestic service, their evenings pleasing Lord Chester together, and their nights curled up in each others arms, watching the stars through their window as they drift off into a warm, cozy, snuggly sleep.

The... Voice you write with. It's so much less crude than what I normally see in cuckolding literature. It's smooth, sleek, seductive... The teasing, mocking element is there, but it's so much more subtle. There are so many other flavors too. Mind control. Bodily transformation. Reluctance. The desire to give in, gently, teasingly prodded forward by Lord Chester.

I should reign this in. Bravo. This is an excellent story.

this story should end with him defeating magician with the power of his mind