All Comments on 'Make Me Want It'

Back with more characters that you wish you knew, another winner.

I want one like her.

You did a good job capturing her anxiety over just getting started in the gym. Also, a good job when Angie the employee put Chris in his place for being thoughtless. Those initial encounters set the tone for the rest perfectly. The only parts missing, are why Chris remained single into his 50’s, and no mention of any kind of social life before Angie arrived at his gym. It’s like he’s a misfit watching life pass him by.

You’re work is great please continue with your first group of stories

As far as I am concerned you are well into the running for first place in the contest

Damn you for making me cry on my break at work. It was the afterword that got me. This was fantastic!!! And funny enough I was given a summer trip to Disney World for Christmas! I think I’ll get in better shape to be able to really enjoy it!

Thank you!! 💋

Beautifully designed and executed

You shape characters very well and their words are just right. They are all real people.

Please write some more but don't forget to let us know more about Beth, Thad, Shannon and Thunder

Sexy, but not over the top. Genuine feelings, made me smile and grin the whole time I was reading it. One of the best stories I've seen here, honestly!

One thing I particularly liked was that you set up a confrontation with the ex, then let it go. A lot of writers would have had the ex try to come back, and wind up getting his ass kicked. That would have been totally expected, and trite, and it was a good move to avoid it.

If you wanted a good romantic tale - then you got it. Thanks.

A great story. I wish I could give you bonus points for "I have seven words for you. This story isn't about you." Although it wasn't part of the story, it was a perfect ending.

5 stars! It was an beautiful read. A real romance. The emotion and build up, the struggle of self confidence. It's so relatable. Your notes at the end are the best ending you could have given. Well done!

I love your writings! Bandit was the first. So that's the benchmark. This is #2 after that. I'm a retired cop and gym rat(knees gave it up) so I kinda relate to Angies dilemma. Very Good character development altho I too wondered bout his past romantic life? Didn't detract an iota from the story. 5 stars don't do justice but all I can give.

Stargazer55

Very nice romance, great characters and love the theme. Your end note said it best; every woman is beautiful in her own way.

Rnebular

This was excellent.

Romantic

Great characters

Loving

Sweet

Sexy

I love your stories and this one was no exception. The only really minor problem I have is that there is no Russia in EPCOT. I know, I'm being picky.

A wonderful storie I hope she read it and liked it as much as I did

I throughly enjoyed your story and writing. As someone who has recently started back up at the gym after years of career focus, kids and post partum depression, Angie is an inspiration to me. Your kind words at the end made me cry and feel like I have value and space in this world. Thank you.

This is an OUTSTANDING story, especially the epilogue!

This story is the best I have read on this site, thus far! You are an artist with words. Took my breath away, I plan on reading more of your works.

Do you want it Or Not,,,,,your choice, TK U MLJ LV NV

You have to many infodumping paragraphs. Read the first two, looked around, read more, no good. In corporate those paragraphs in your storymode writing and youve got something here.

Wow. Thanks for writing such a great story that empowers women! First time I’ve ever been moved to comment

Loved the emergence of the butterfly from her cocoon! Wonderful story.

I have no words of true wisdom, no constructive critism, nothing but a really heartfelt 'Thank you' for writing a great story. Have read most of your stuff now and this was just great. Thank you and please write more.

The transition was fun to watch.

Thanks

Thank you thank you thank you

WOW! Your Stories just keep getting better and better! Thanks for this one it was very good!

ds

What a wonderful story! Thank you!!

Your stories are great---/good plots, well written and and pretty realistic. Keep writing.

to finish the story, that is. Once I got started, I just kept going. Great story, by the way.

So this is number four. Not the best but still damn good. I'll continue my quest to read all of them.

I’ve liked everything you’ve written

Keep going

I could say a lot, but let’s just put it this way...I think I will give a ten. Five simply isn’t enough...

One of my goals with my writing is to make people see themselves in a better light than they did previously. You, sir, appear to have the same mindset. Between this and Bandit, I can't decide which is more moving. You have dealt with two of the worst conditions psychologically that there are, though they are actually the same, but different manifestations of that condition. Thank you.

I normally identify myself with my comments, but due to extenuating circumstances, I must remain anonymous today.

Real people.

*****

First time making public comment on site; thank you. 140 ⭐️

very sweet story, nice

Nicely done. You did an excellent job telling a story of romance and empowerment - while also detailing how and why a man would have to be either be a). dead or b). a fool not to enjoy Angie’s company in the bedroom. I was most impressed because the romance seemed honest without ‘extra cheese’.

Dear Author, This was another five star winning love story. Although you are listed as MALE in your bio, you appear to be a feeling, caring and intuitive human being who is far advanced from the average male of today.

Really enjoyed the characters and the story line. Thank you for the pleasure.....jntiques/john

In my opinion Chris was more antagonistic than the father. He baited the guy when all the father was asking was for his ex wife's new boyfriend stay away from his son. Quite frankly, it could have been worded better but Chris then taunted the guy in a vulgar way. Chris didn't say he was dating Angie. He didn't say he was falling in love with her. No he said he was having sex with her. The guy left after a meaningless threat about who he was. So where was the goldmine? If I was Angie I would have been pissed at being called a piece of ass anything more.

The story was great until then, it was adolescent. Do you even understand women at all?

As one of those, hold on, let me copy and paste this to get it right......... "muscle heads, gym rats and quasi "body builders", it didn't bother me at all how you described "The Gym" and about the exercises. Actually, the first place I ever worked out at as a teenager in Minnesota was a place called "The Gym". Ironically, it was owned by 2 guys named Jim lol. It was located in a small chunk of a building in an Industrial Park and had a big garage door they left open in the summer. After that, I moved to another place closer to where I lived owned by none other than Jesse "The Body" Ventura. These places were more of a "Pumping Iron" facility than a Fitness type center you see mostly today. There were only like 2 treadmills and 2 bikes for cardio and the rest were all free weights.

I tried to work out at a couple of those "Fitness Centers" and while I like to look at a pretty girl as much as the next guy, I didn't like being distracted from what I needed to do. Unlike many muscle heads, gym rats and quasi "body builders I actually HATE working out and only spend the bare minimum I need to when doing it. Then again, after doing it for several decades, my body doesn't react and recover as well as it used to even though most of my day is spent doing hard manual labor.

Anyway, your story was very good and I enjoyed it. The only things I would suggest is making it a bit longer and go into the character backgrounds a bit more and then also show the progression of them as they "better" themselves emotionally and mentally. Maybe even add a bit of drama here and there since the lives of the 2 main characters are ripe for it. A former cop business owner that deals with the public that consists of hot guys and girls and a newly overweight Divorce with self-esteem issues who is "modernizing" her body. Oh, and Ninjas, every Romance story should have Ninjas in them LOL.

Although, I was happy to see you didn't go down the road of Angie wanting to see "who and what" she could attract with her new body. That seems to be a real issue for women who lose a lot of weight and get into shape more so than it is for men who do that. I have seen it happen to a few of the couples I have known over the years, sadly none of those marriages survived and the women became very depressed when they started gaining their weight back because they slowed down at the gym and started going out to eat and drink more on dates. Once they gained most, all, or sometimes more of their weight back, they realized they threw away a great marriage and life for a pipe dream.

It can be even worse if the woman works hard to lose weight and getting into shape and the hubby doesn't. Whereas when the hubby does it and the wife doesn't, it isn't as much of a big deal, probably because guys hit on women more than women hit on men, especially, middle-aged men lol. My wife works out with me everyday (cardio) and a few days a week lifting weights so she is in exceptional shape and gets hit on a lot whenever I am not around (which isn't very often because we do most things together because we are a team). I am 6'7" 265 lbs of hard muscle so no one hits on her when I am around lol. If she stops for a quick drink after work her single workmates don't want me around because they say I scare off all the single guys LOL. I don't. Most of the time I am usually there because we both work out of the same hospital so, in actuality, I am one of her workmates lol.

Keep up the good work.

Good story. Could use a little more conflict with ex-husband and a little more interaction with her son.

Mike the Irishman 🍀

I ran the mile in high school a ways back in the last century. I khew I wasn't going to be first and I knew damned well I wasn't going to be last. The first two laps weren't a problem, I could feel the end of the third. Half way around the fourth I was telling myself over and over "left, right, left, right" all the rest of the way. At the end my legs were like over cooked spagetti. Angie did real good, her ex was and is a fool. *****'s Signed: BTW

This is a very good read from start to finish. The authors note at the end is there best part of it. Your note is a statement that every woman should see, read and take to heart for themselves.

I'm a dedicated gym rat, and there were zero issues with the way the gym and exercises were described. Great f'n story.

Great story and wonderful message. My only nitpick is that the car should have been a 'Stang ;-) Hope to hear from YDW again.

Great story about a Woman rebuilding her own self-confidence and getting some Sass back into her life, far too often we as guys have an unreal expectation of Women, whilst conveniently forgetting that that expectation should apply to ourselves as well.

My only gripes are the intermittent mistakes, e.g. “thrilled to death” you can “choke to death”, or be “thrilled to bits”, there are a few others scattered throughout, but really they’re a minor irritation in what is a very good, very enjoyable story. Thanks for writing and posting, cheers Ppfzz.

Regarding Purplefizz's comment. The generalization "we guys" is unjustified in this context, in my opinion. Not every person or body-type appeals to the rest of humanity and it doesn't have to. I even know many men with "overweight" spouses that are quite fit and trim themselves. All in all I'm not convinced that there is a much higher percentage of women with some substance who are involuntary singles, than there are thin ones. It might be different from country to country or if you compare big city inhabitants with small town/rural people or if you specifically look at the upper crust. I general there is lid for almost every pot.

Nice story, nice postscript.

Very well done. Inspirational!

Didn’t get the initial part where the admin Angie is angry on her boss about client Angie leaving. What had the boss got to do with that when it was admin Angie dealing with client Angie.

Did I miss anything or was that simply the part where we can relive our imagination of cussing our bosses?

I guess Chris wasn't much into being a stepdad from what I just read. Doesn't say how old Jacob is, but to take a vacation at Disney World and not take the kid sounds a bit out of character for the both of them. Other wise it was a good story.

Excellent story! As a former police officer I was especially surprised about the comment about cops hating being lied to. This is so true! Unfortunately so many people will spin a lie where the truth would be better.

Very sweet older/younger romance, and sweet not an adjective I use a lot...

Liked a lot neither of them made a big deal about him being 16 years older....

Dammit, but I love the story and its message.

Thank you for the story.

Great character development and intriguing story telling. I dislike police in general, you won me over with your narrative style and empathetic, realistic situations and good pacing. Damn fine stuff.