Man Enough

My cock is an average 6.5 inches when erect. Not exactly an anaconda. But like I said, average. Good enough for an average woman. In the last 12-13 years, Rachael had never complained and I always managed to get her to orgasm before I blew.

But now to hear that his cock was knocking at her door, was unbearable. He had to be at least 8.5 inches to do that. Minimum. Just a guesstimate. Nowhere in hell I could ever do to her physically what he had done a decade ago. The cat was out of the bag. No fucking way it was going back in.

I looked at her in the eye when I asked that question. I could see her throat constrict and her chest shudder in misery at what she had done to me. I knew she really regretted it. I knew she loved me. Really loved me. And I thought of overlooking what she had said. But the way she had said it, her body language when she had said it, the lilt in her voice and the faraway look in her eyes when she had said it, made if difficult for me to forget.

Her face took on the expression that told me she could cry any moment. Thankfully, I had reached the car by then. I opened the driver's door, started the ignition and put the car in gear and moved ahead.

I could see her huddling, her head down, her body shaking, in my rear view mirror. I knew finally, that she had broken down.

# # # # #

"Chris, open up. I'd like to talk."

Great. So now she sends Francis to talk to me. What was I going to do?

To hear Francis knocking on my door, in my own home, asking to let in, meant he and Bethany had accompanied her to the house.

Thankfully, our son was at her mother's. Just a co-incidence in the normal routine of having a baby sitter instead.

"Francis... " I said, then paused.

What do I say to him?

That I am upset my wife thinks I don't knock her door and make her cum so many times a night? That I feel my wife had broken my confidence in my manhood by implying that she had never been satisfied fully by me?

What do you say?

"Not in the mood buddy. Please, make yourselves at home. But I'm not coming out." I said.

"No you're not. Then just let me fucking come in at least?" he said, standing outside my room.

Well, if nothing, I figured he'd bore me to death with one of his poems if I did not open the door. Funny, how you can think of the most humorous things in the saddest parts of your life.

So I unlatched the door, and let him in.

"Aren't you taking this a tad too seriously, Chris?"

That was the first thing he said.

I did not reply. But continued looking at him.

"Look, if you ask me, don't let it get to you. All of us know how much Rachael loves you. It was something at the spur of the moment. Beth was into it too. I don't let that upset me." He added.

"Besides, if you are not in the mood to forgive and forget, I'd suggest you sleep it out alone today. Tomorrow is Sunday. Do nothing tomorrow, but stay in the house and bang her like an animal. Sorry for using words like this Chris, but believe me I know what I'm talking about. Don't make love to her, use her. Hard, and do whatever gives you pleasure. Fuck her till she can't walk. Bite her and shout obscenities when you fuck her. And ask her whether Brian used to do this as you take her ass. And mouth. Stake your claim on her. Roughly. Dominate her. Own her fully. Make her forget Brian. Then, in the evening, take a bath together, go out for a candle light dinner, come back home, and this time make soft, tender love to her, kiss her lips softly, caress her hair, tell her how much you love her and the life you both share, till she cries in your love for her. Sleep in each other's arms. Cherish your love. I guarantee by morning day after, you'll feel all this was childish and not worth ruining a great relationship for."

He said this in one breath, waiting for my response.

"Francis..." I said, looking balefully at him, "this is not one of your editors telling you your poems are crap and that someone else's are better. Unlike your editor's trashy reviews about your poems, which perhaps shove a jack up your ass and inspire you to shit out better poems, this is not that. You're mixing things up in your head." I finished.

I could see hesitation in his eyes. But more importantly, I could see shock, at my cruel remarks about something he felt so personal about. His poems. And that me, Christopher, his close friend was the one to utter these words.

"I... see, Chris." He said. He turned to walk away. He seemed hurt. I could see him trying to preserve the dignity of this conversation by trying to walk away from this verbal fight, but it was clear he was hurting bad. That was a low blow. Unfair.

"Francis." I called out to him.

He turned over and looked at me, hurt still evident on his face about the way I spoke to him.

"If emasculating your poems does this to you, imagine what you would feel if Bethany emasculated you publicly about your sex life."

"Oh, God!" he said. His eyes wide open.

I think this time, the nail hit the spot.

# # # # #

RACHAEL'S SIDE

"I think he's taking the hurt part a bit too far." I said.

Bethany and myself were sitting on the coffee table. Francis had gone upstairs to talk some sense into Chris.

"I don't want to comment, till Francis returns, Rach." Replied Bethany tersely.

I was upset.

Upset and ashamed. Ashamed, that I was stupid enough to say something that could hurt my husband of 10 years this bad. Upset that I did not see what Bethany was trying to do when she uttered that 'husbands are our universe' thing and gesturing me to shut up. Upset that I should be thinking about how Brian used to make me cum, that too in the presence of my husband. It was more than long ago and I need not have brought up those memories. Not in front of everyone and definitely not in front of my loving husband. God, I loved my husband. And I was upset I had hurt him with my insensitive and flippant comment. What was I doing even reminiscing about my lover when I was married? That was a closed chapter in my life!

But I was also very hurt to see that Christopher take offense to such a small thing.

"Now granted, it was stupid of me to say this aloud. Much less in front of all my friends. I should not have started that conversation in the first place. Granted. I am guilty. Totally! But Chris need not have put on such a show." I said. Not really believing this was still happening.

"Maybe he felt you... how do you put it...ummm...you...yup! he felt he did not satisfy you!" Responded Bethany.

I sat up straight.

"Come on," I said, with more force than necessary, "Beth, you KNOW he satisfies me perfectly!! I don't even secretly wish that he had a larger prick or that his technique could have been better. You know it! We've discussed this over years!! What he does to me in bed is better than anyone," I said, "even Brian or anyone else." I added.

"Sure didn't look that way when you were mooning over Brian's memories, Rach." She replied.

I tried to find humor in her voice. There was none.

I wearily slumped in my seat.

This was all a bad mistake. I had to open my mouth and talk about Brian. I am so stupid!!

Bethany got up to make coffee and made two cups, placing one before me. Drinking deeply, I regained some of my composure.

"I mean it Beth. He totally, completely and with all my heart, satisfies me. I love him!" I said. As if that would make things right.

"And not because of the way he makes love or makes me feel secure. I am really turned on by his body. His cock. It feels so full when it enters me. I am perfectly content and happy the way it is. With my husband. With his cock and the way we have sex. I don't even THINK of Brian's cock or anyone else's for that matter. No one else has that right to access this secret garden of mine except Chris' cock. And I am always content and glowing with how his cock fills me. And the way it makes me feel." I added.

Bethany just nodded. And I felt frustrated.

I got the feeling this little speech was doing nothing to convince Bethany .

"Do you think I don't love Chris?" I asked. There are benefits to having a best friend since third grade.

"Of course, you do." She replied evenly.

"So?" I countered.

"It's just that he does not satisfy you like Brian does." She added, smoothly.

This time I lost it.

"What are you talking about Beth??!! I love him. I love my husband! I keep telling you no one satisfies me more. I don't want anyone's bed but my husband's" I said. Almost on the verge of shouting.

"Sure you do. I said you and he love each other," she paused, "But that don't mean he's better than Brian in bed. I mean, at least as far as you are concerned. That's what you said back there honey," she continued coolly, "I mean, he doesn't have a nine-and-a-half-incher like Brian, does he?" she added.

"Bethany!" I shouted this time, "What the hell is wrong with you??!! Can't you see that Chris satisfies me perfectly the way he is and I don't have any complaints or fantasies?" I was determined to get the point across to Bethany.

"Then Rach," she added, looking at me directly in the eye, "Why the fuck did you say that Brian satisfied you better and made you cum more times? What the hell were you thinking?"

"Come on Beth!" I almost cried out, "you were doing it too!!"

"Yes, I was. But I realized in time what impact it was having on my Francis. Why didn't you? What took you so long to realize that talking about how much your ex-boyfriend satisfied you in bed, is an absolute no-no? And why in the world was that fucking comment about ONLY Brian being able to satisfy you? That implied no one else, INCLUDING Chris, could not." She asked.

I was shocked. And I choked up. No. Stupid mistake was not it. That was not the word. The word was GRAVE mistake.

Beth was right. What the hell was I even doing, talking about my previous boyfriends in front of my loving husband in the first place? Forget about what I commented, why was I even discussing sex with someone else in front of the man I loved? How could I just do that? God, I was SO bloody insensitive and stupid! How I wished I could take it all back!!

I took a deep swig of the coffee. And then met Beth's eyes.

"Beth... you know it... its...it was... just a spur of the thing Beth!" I was now pleading.

Mercifully, Beth's stance softened.

"I agree with you Rach. You probably just thought about it, remembered the good times, and forgot about it even before the sentence ended. But that's not the way Chris sees it." She said. "For him, it was a statement of how he could not satisfy you. You virtually emasculated him there honey! In front of everyone, you pointed out that he cannot satisfy you."

"No, I did not!" I said, slamming the cup on the table. "All I did was to say that no one satisfied me..." and my mouth fell open at that realization!!

"Oh God" was all I could say. Before I felt the beginning of tears starting. "Oh Holy God!!" was all I could think of saying.

I knew it in my heart. There was only one man who loved me and satisfied me. No one ever came close. And that was Chris.

So why the hell did I just talk shit about Brian in front of Chris and the crowd? I didn't know.

I wanted Chris to know. To understand. That there was no man that was more important to me than he was. And no one pleased my pussy more than he did in bed. Bar none.

He was the complete man for me. He was my universe. This was something I needed to talk to Chris with. Convince him about. Of course, there would always be someone better, but in a philosophical sense. For me, Chris was my only lover and husband that I ever wanted. One I intended to keep and stay old with. Fuck Brian and all my lovers before I married.

But first, I had to get my Chris back. In this frame of mind, he was not my husband. He was just someone whose manhood had been insulted by the stupid mistake of a wife who could not think beyond her boyfriend and her life before marriage, in the first place. God, why did I even go there. There was nothing there, anyways. No one could compare to my husband in the sex department. Not to me. No one even came close!!

I was so stupid to talk like that. I should have really cut my tongue to hurt him so. JUST WHY THE FUCK DID I DO IT??!!

I drank deeply from the cup. Thinking, while I did. I went on thinking till the cup drained completely.

Then I straightened on the chair and looked at Beth again. Resolve in my eyes.

"But then would you not say that what he did was also mean, in a way? To walk out in front of everyone? To make me cry in the parking lot?" I asked.

Bethany did not reply. None was necessary. She just kept on looking at me with an expression that said 'do you realize how stupid you sound making that pompous statement?'

I realized how stupid that logic sounded.

I was getting confused. I just didn't know what I was going to do. I was feeling lost and totally at sea. When I heard Francis come down the stairs.

He was plodding heavily. And he looked directly at Bethany. And shook his head as if to say 'No.'.

"Oh my Goddddd..!!" was all I could say before the tears came.

# # # # #

An hour had passed since Francis had descended from the stairs and sat with us on the kitchen table, sharing the coffee. We spoke about how to deal with this problem and other things related to getting Chris to accept it meant nothing, when I decided to get it out of my system.

"How does this happen, Beth?" I asked, bewildered. And slightly angry. "Why the hell are men so self-conscious about their dick size?"

Both Bethany and Francis continued looking at me.

"I mean, that's it in the end, is it not? He felt inadequate the moment I told him that Brian satisfied me better, because HE thought, it meant that I was comparing my satisfaction derived as a function of his dick size! He knows I know he has a smaller dick than Brian's. The fact that it satisfies me completely and its enough for me, that Brian is actually a freak of nature, but Chris is average is of no importance is it not? No, he cannot see that but he just has to compare this mentally, isn't that it? That dick size... why the fuck are men so sensitive about it? I asked.

"I mean, sure, even Chris jokes that my... pussy is not tight enough after one child. Sure, I know that. But I don't take offense to that. Why the hell are they so sensitive about their cocks?" I asked, fear seeping from my voice, not really willing to accept the train of thought that it was offensive, what I did back there at the reunion, which would be too much for me to bear. I was trying to save myself here. And my marriage.

"It's a male thing, is it not? Their bloody sensitivity to that. They want to be the guy with the biggest cock in the room. I don't understand why the hell they are so primitive when it comes to their cocks?" I asked.

I decided to press on, when I saw no responses forthcoming from either of them.

"Why are they so easily offended if we joke about the length of their dicks?" I continued.

"Because, you were not joking. First point." Said Francis.

Both me and Beth stared at him. He was not the one to get in between a domestic matter between two friends. So this was something new. Something unanticipated.

To hear what Francis had to say, to hear him speak, where he had never spoke before, was... new.

"Secondly," he said, "men are never conscious about their cock size."

Both me and Bethany looked at each other and then at him.

This was the worse piece of crock I had ever heard.

Ever.

"Are you serious, Francis?" I asked. Still not believing that a mature and worldly-wise man like Francis could make such a statement!!

"Yes. Dead." He said.

"But honey... everything we know about you... about men... says otherwise!" chimed Bethany.

"Then you and Rachael... and anyone else who believes so don't know anything about men." He continued solemnly.

"What... what do you mean?" I asked.

This was something far-reaching. Something way different than that I had been hearing since my teenage.

Men don't care about the length of their cocks??!!

You just got to be kidding me!

"You see," he stated simply, "men don't care about the length of their cocks. They care about the subsequent implications."

Both me and Beth sat in silence.

What the hell in good fuck was Francis talking about?

Implications?

Men not interested in how long their cocks are?

Was he from the same planet?

Francis must have looked at our faces. He sighed, then went on.

"Men, don't care whether their cocks are four inches or ten inches. But the IMPLICATIONS, of a four inch or ten inch! That, THAT is what causes them to be sensitive!! You see, men fear that a four-incher will not satisfy a woman. A ten-incher will please a woman. The size of their cocks does not matter. But the IMPLICATION that their smaller cock will not satisfy a woman... THAT is what gets them upset. Of course, everybody thinks, including what's written in popular literature, that men with small cocks are upset because of their size. Its not the size. Dammit!! It's NEVER been about the size. It's what the size CAN do, or lack of it CANNOT, that is what upsets them!!" He said.

"And Rachael, you never commented on his average cock. You commented on what men fear the most -- the IMPLICATION of an average cock. That it cannot satisfy a woman. And when you said no one ever satisfied you like Brian, you acted on that implication. He was not hurt because it implied he had an average cock. He was hurt because it implied his average cock did not SATISFY you!" he finished.

Both Beth and myself were staring at him with open mouths. I was closer to tears now.

"I... Francis... honey...I STILL cannot believe it!!" Said Beth, incredulously.

"Sure," said Francis, "tell a man he has slender fingers. Or stubby fingers or wobbly legs or... or spindly arms. Is he offended?"

Somewhere, something was beginning to make sense.

But it was such a drastic departure from what I, or Beth, or everyone was typically conditioned to know throughout our lives, that we still found it difficult to believe!

"Alright!" I said. "I agree with you. Just for the time being. Still, why the hell did he make so much of a fuss over so small a thing?" I asked.

And this time, before Francis could answer, Beth did.

"Because, for him, its important. Because he's a man. And you cannot relate to him in that department. Because you're a woman!" This time it was Bethany.

I stared at Bethany.

"What do you mean Beth? That I cannot relate to it?" I asked.

"You see Rach," she continued, "men place the satisfaction of a woman sexually, up there with the top two things in their lives. But women place love, children and security as the top-priority things in their lives. Sure sex is very, very important to a woman as well. Its just that it not their very top priority. If he joked about how crappy a homemaker you were, you'd be far more angry than if he mentioned how lousy a lay you were. Would it not?" she queried.

I had to admit, it was making sense. But I was afraid. And fear sometimes does not allow you to accept your mistakes.

"Sorry Beth," I announced. "I STILL don't get it. I still can't relate to it. I still cannot believe that he would react in this way." I said.

"Then let me help you relate." interjected Francis.

We both looked at him as he took a deep breath and looked at me in the eye.

"Rachael, would you feel bad, if your husband told you that one of his ex had a tighter pussy and that you were never able to milk his cock the way her pussy did?" he asked.

"Of course!!" I responded. "But I'd take it in my stride because I know it could be! And I would never have sulked and gotten angry at him for telling it." I added.

"Yes. That's because of what Beth said. That women don't really have sexual satisfaction as their top two priorities when they look for a life mate. Okay then." He said.