by ohmanon
Any words of praise I attempt to use will pale in comparison, but that story was amazing in every way. You should be published, if you're not already.
what a beautiful story. i hope i don't sound dumb, but i am a bit confused by the ending...
Don't often find much use for this word these days but this was exquisite.
I declare the whole pupil/teacher narrative on this site officially closed. Nothing is going to top that - or even come close. That is extraordinary!
The characters, the situation, everything was just so... real. That's something that I feel a lot of Erotica Writers don't grasp... this was a fantasy come true, but at the same time, it's possible in real life.
He didn't go to jail, did he? ;-;
Truly fantastic writing. I loved it.
Thank you! Keep writing. If this one story is a true gauge of your talent... You're outstanding.
Your writing technique is much to be admired and envied, it was obvious from the first few paragraphs that you are one of those lucky few people with a natural gift with words. I would love to say I understood the ending fully but I did not and the harshness of Paulhan's actions was not to my tastes but that is really irrelevant. What really is impressive was your skillful way with words. I will be incredibly disappointed if I don't see another story from you as such wonderful writers are hard to find.
Almost as fascinating as the story itself were my unexpected reactions to it. At first I was afraid. I suppose I knew what had to be coming and, knowing your main character instantly, I felt afraid on her behalf. Then, toward the middle, embarrassed somehow - at one point I realized I was reading out of the corner of my eye. At the end, so sad. Especially when you remember that she wanted him to make the first move; that that, to her, would have been winning.
My thoughts are many and rambling. I think about a powerful character like Sabine, who stands for so much and contains so much within herself - and then I try imagine her, us, all of us, in a world where there are no fish-eyed stares. How we would behave and how we would view ourselves. Who we would love, and why.
More to the point: I enjoyed your story so much. Like Paulson, I view writing - of this caliber at least - as catharsis. Looking at it that way makes it all the sweeter.
OMFG I thought that was fucking amazing. I sort of didn't understand the ending but my god that was such a hot story. You should definitely write more like this. Seriously... Amazing.
Are an incredibly good writer. I am breathless with admiration. Thank you
I absolutely love this story. I always find myself coming back to it - no other compares on this site. Thank you for sharing it.
Your story is just...phenomenal.This is the story of boy meets girl.He broke her heart so she rocked his world!
damnn.. great writing there,, was waiting for more suspense to build up in that locker room scene,, but.. still.. DAMN,,
You are one impressive writer.. like one person said already.. the teacher student section should be closed.. will be way hard to top this
oh my god... that was the most incredible thing- it was a piece of literature- you could actually analyze it from a literary standpoint- the winner/loser recurring idea, the way she was unsure about whether or not she hated or loved him, how she sees herself in him, and it represents the ways she thinks of herself... her maturity...
I found myself wishing I had HIS point of view for a lot of this, because, like Sabine expressed, he was very hard to read.
Write more!!!
This story is AMAZING, and I would love to see it from Paulhan's point of view. There are points in the story he is just puzzling, but there's obviously some kind of tension and attraction and conflict building in him he barely indicates, judging from this charged encounter. I want to hear it!
Lovely, lovely job!!!
--Andrea
The most literate story I've ever read on this site . You are truly gifted and talented
This story was absolutely amazing. This is by far the best teacher/student story i've read on the web so far and i doubt i'll find anything better than this. This story had me glued to my computer screen, I couldn't stop reading. I thoroughly enjoyed it, seriously it felt like i was watching a movie, i could see each character in my head so clearly. And my god, when they finally hooked up... i don't even have the words... 'fucking hot!!!!' is the best i can come up with.:P Everything about this story was perfect and totally believable. A bit confused by the ending but still loved it.
Well done.
Or give a few pointers about it... and the part in 2002 who was the man and woman? Please? I'll try to re read it until I understand(hopefully, English isn't my first language) but I don't have a clue on the very end, it's 2010 4 years after the incident and she's in New York, god I just finished your story in one sitting I'm so tired, please elaborate? Please? My curiosity is killing me
It never fails. Every time I'm in middle of a good story on here, I think to myself "how is this author going to bone the ending like every other author on this site?" And sure enough, this author did. I still gave it a 5, because its an amazing story, easily one of the best on this site. But vague and ambiguous endings only piss people off. Or no sequel can do it too.
The ending seemed to make perfect sense to me. This story was not about him or their relationship. He was just a "man shaped mirror" in which she saw herself learn to become a lover. The relationship never went anywhere but the experience was the prologue to all her other experiences with love and lovers. This was a great story all the way through and rightfully loved even by those for whom the ending made no sense.
I loved the buildup, the dialog, the characters. There were times it got hard to follow will all the alliteration. I have no idea what the prologue is about and how it fits into the story, tho. I guess the janitor catching them was somehow harmful to his career?