Mania

"Oh fuck," I said to myself; then I forced a smile. "You were right, yours is just as good - different, but just as good."

"That's what Rob says too," she giggled.

I groaned inwardly.

Before her giggle had completely ended I said "Cathy wanted me to ask you about your fertile period."

"Oh...that," she uncomfortably responded. "Well I was so distracted the last couple of weeks or so - ever since our trip to the lake house - that I lost tract of that. I...uh...I...uh...just realized when I talked to Cathy on the phone this morning that if I'm as regular as I have been in the past that my next period will probably be in eleven days."

"Uh...what does that mean?" I cautiously inquired, not being close to an expert on ovulation, fertile times, menstrual periods, or the like.

"Well...ovulation normally occurs 12-14 days before a woman's period," she nervously responded.

"And...what significance does that have?" I hesitantly inquired.

"Well...uh...well...the time 12-14 days before a woman's period is normally her most fertile time."

I did a quick calculation in my head. "So...this weekend, while you were with Rob, you were in your most fertile period?"

"Uh...I guess," was her nervous reply - now wringing her hands.

"Did you and Rob have intercourse during this time?"

"Well that's a stupid question," she snapped, "you knew that we were going to, just like you knew the night that you traded me for your obsession."

I gulped hard. "How many times?"

"Not many, really," she quickly responded looking down at the ground, apparently trying to count the number of loops in the carpet.

"How many - closest guess; Rob will tell me if I ask him so don't lie."

"Uh...I don't know...maybe a dozen or so..." her voice trailed off once she got to "dozen."

I collapsed on the chair, and then teetered onto the ground. "Are you OK, Dave?" she frantically asked.

I regained my wits and sat back up. "Do you intend to have an abortion?"

"Of course not," she snapped. "In fact, I think that it's a good idea if Rob ends up to be the biological father of our kids; you've always said how much more wonderful he is that you are..." she continued until she saw the hurt look on my face and then quickly clarified "just as far as breeding is concerned. I love only you, not him."

"So, if you're not pregnant this time, what's your plan?" I wheezed, feeling my chest getting tight.

Without hesitation Jenny responded "Rob says that he likes my pussy, and he's keen on the idea of impregnating me, so if it doesn't work out this month we'll try again next month. I'm sorry, but since that weekend at the lake I've developed a mania as far as having Rob's kids is concerned - but he'll just be the biological father, not the dad like you'll be."

I saw stars, and then things went black.

*****************

Jenny, with a forced happy face, told me six weeks later, after she had missed her period and that in fact she was pregnant. After a dozen fucks during her three most fertile days that was anything but surprising. "Too bad that I wasn't around for my kid's conception," I grumbled to myself.

Cathy and Rob were both happy for us, and had the good taste not to bring up who the biological father is.

When Jenny was five months pregnant, and happier than I had ever seen her, I went to see a shrink because I was having real trouble coping. After I told the shrink the entire story I could see that he was aghast.

"That is the most fucked up thing I have ever heard," was his "medical" diagnosis. "Get yourself out of that fucking situation, otherwise there's no help for you. You'll end up putting a gun to your head about the time that the second kid comes along, because you know damn well that her clinical mania is going to require that your brother father it too! Her mania is worse than yours!"

"No," I meekly responded. "I think that she's over that now and isn't obsessed with Rob anymore."

"If you believe that, you're hopeless and I can't see you again - I don't want to waste my time with someone destined to fail, and I don't want your blood on my hands. Just pack up and leave - move 1,000 miles away!"

From the expression on my face he sensed that I was reluctant to follow his advice.

"Look," he continued, "I'm not even going to charge you for this session because I don't ever want to admit that you're a patient. Get out - now!"

I was feeling kind of low when I got home. Jenny excitedly greeted me and kissed me. "I have some news, Dave," she gushed.

"Oh yeah - what?" I unenthusiastically replied, still smarting from my psychiatrist's words.

"Rob says that he's never had sex with a pregnant woman, and he'd really like to, so he'd like to arrange a swap this weekend. You and Cathy can go to an opera and then spend the night while Rob's here. Isn't that exciting?"

I sighed and shrugged my shoulder. I went to my bedroom, packed the most important things to me, including a wad of cash since I don't trust banks, into two suitcases while Jenny kept asking me "What are you doing?" with escalating pitch to her voice.

After I slinked out the door I asked my iPhone, "Siri, what city is about 1,000 miles away?" It was time for a new life free of both my and Jenny's manias.