All Comments on 'Mantis Ch. 01: The Prey'

The beginning was a bit strained {although I should have seen the "foreshadowing"}; the middle wasn't too erotic; and the ending was silly. Nicely written

As always the grammar could use some work, but we all suck in some way when it comes to grammar and the internet makes us lazy.

I liked it .. I can't wait to read more.

You have a decent concept. Putting thoughts in parentheses is clumsy, and you'd be better off just leaving them as part of the narrative. But keep up the good work, and keep improving!

Not into big chested blondes, but your imagination and narration is captivating