All Comments on 'Marginal Life Ch. 01'

Need to know a lot more of the landscape/world this story is set in to make sense of it.

Thanks for your comment.

I tried to limit the scope of the first chapter, to avoid huge exposition dumps. Airships, Markers, mechanica, magic. Just a surface glance to start, I tried to focus on Jaya, on trying to make a believable character.

So, I would ask, as someone on the outside of the story, what details do you find critical? What helps draw you into the story?

I ask this of everyone who stops to glance at the comments. What would make it better?

I love how you have displayed the major characters. The love making scene was very well done. I think you've begun to lay the ground work for a very good story. Like the other poster, I'm looking forward to a more in depth discussion of your world. You have given us glimpses of it that want us to know more about it. I eagerly await the next chapters!

DJ