by Kippy189
What are you TRYING to do here? What authors like you-- talented authors ---dont get is that there are ONLY two types of LW stories:. SERIOUS ones such as HOW HIGH A PRICE or REQUEIM and the usual beat your meat crap written by JPB or Lynn.
scumbags like Matt Moreau or Britease have for years been trying to write a 3rd kind LW stories which has both.
They have failed every time. Those writers have fialed b/c they are have a bad grasp of reality
You need to decide what you are doing here. In the Original THE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD ... you got into trouble with readers b/c if that story was a whacko off story then 9 pages is waaaaaaay too long.
IF on the other hand you were trying to write a a serious LW story the male/ husband Humiliation was just too severe and extreme to make it enjoyable believable or serious.
Since these two stories are connected given what happened in the Original what the wife has doen here is killed her marriage. It does not mater with whom or why or when or how.
anything else is Just bullshit.
needs to sew her pussy shut then put a lock on it ...lol now wouldnt tha tbe funny the next time alex n her partner wans tto use her ...lol gee dear maybe her hubby dont want this pussy fucked n if i was her hubby n she did like the first time...well then instead of them black mailing my wife id black mail the senator first ...so bad hed rat out alex n her partner n put their slimy asses in jail
Why would a husband be married to a piece of trash like this woman? She sleeps with everything, she takes drugs willingly. There's no fucking way you send a drug addict to Vegas by herself.
You seem to have a thing for drug addicted women who cheat. I hope your fantasy comes true for you.
"Is it cheating when it's another woman?"
A simple enough question with an equally simple answer YES. Should this woman be married? NO. After all the shit the husband went through in the previous story you write a story like this? If this is your way of writing how a character thanks a husband for saving her from the hell she was in before, then who knows what she will do for an encore. There really is no one to like in this story. The wife is way beyond redemption. But that's how you wanted to write the story wasn't it? if you want readers to sympathise with the wife or the husband for that matter then you are going to have a really hard time convincing most people that the woman is worth caring about. As it is most readers will care nothing for this stupid woman. If that was your intention then well done for doing so.
It's crap. Quit writing bitch.
you have a lot of deleting to do, i would just like to know who are the ones who encourage you to keep writing, they are the ones who are really laughing at you.
writing a story with an IQ below 35 is almost as good as an average guy inventing atomic fusion. on the other hand I would really like to know who is changing your diapers every day.
I suggest you try writing a story about people readers can like. Marissa is one of the weakest personalities I've read about lately. She doesn't even hold any anger for Tony and what he did! Hubby is also weak. He believes she can stay clean. Silly.
I think you should stop with your sorry stories--this was one sorry ass story.
So, like where is all that positive feedback which keeps you writing? Are you hearing voices again?
Your story is believable because it is so close to reality. Keep writing! Your style is a refreshing change from the usual Literotica contest winnner wannabes.
and the comments even more interesting. Still nothing about it was likable...
When you hate the people in a story its not erotic, just pathic. Quit.
I really enjoyed the previous story about Marisa. It had an interesting plot. This looks interesting too and I am really looking forward to part 2 and beyond.
What a bunch of crap!!! The positive feedback to encourage you to continue submitting stories is only from perverts who gets her rocks of by your cuckold/wimp and slutwife crap!!!
I seriously doubt you are getting positive feedback on this huge pile of shit you call a story......
Jesus! How do people spend so much energy telling you to stop writing. Marissa is a great charactor and you should keep developing her. Guys that write long critiques of your efforts should try for themselves to see how hard developing a story line with substance can be. It's easy to criticize, it's harder to write an interesting piece like Marissa. Keep it up and I want more of Marrissa.
There goes the neighborhood was poor and this continuation started lower.
When from the beginning the characters are so weak and naive the outcome is predictable. No need for following .
Captcha
Why are some so stper upid. Hubby needs to cut her loose, it is cheaper and less trouble to hire a hooker now and then.