All Comments on 'Marriage Transformation Ch. 01'

You nned to experiment with punctuaion a bit. Mostly you are breaking up the flow using periods. The content is promising I'm looking forward to the next instalment.

You know, Cindy becoming the teacher of both Chris and Elizabeth. I also like Cindy's matter-of-fact style. To the naysayers... why not skip chapter 2 when it's published? Save you from gnashing your teeth.

and I'm sure it is about to kill the pussy's marriage, when Elizabeth's box opens Chris is history, but in his next life he will meet a really nice woman to live happily ever after with who loves only him and can spell faithful and honor. (even with the British "e")

Beautiful! Cant wait to read more

Yeah yeah she gets all dressed up and becomes a slut for her loser friends and the husband gets the boot!

Just stop writing here nothing is good going forward with this story.

The loving wife is forever destroyed.

Idiotic and it result in cuckolding!!! Only for the pervert and brain sick cuckold fans!!!

dumb cuck shit from another cum-eating "author".

That was about as sexy as a loaf of bread.

(The bread-fucking perverts just popped boners).

not too long to the next chapter I hope

I get the slam on conservative traditional monogamous lifestyles, but you're making the swinging sophisticated worldly people just look dirty and bored and self-absorbed. Maybe its odd, or telling, that none of these people talk about the quality of their marriages, or their spouses. It reads more like a scene from a junior high school, where everybody is ultra hormonal and giddy and so focused on sex and lust that they forgot there is more to life than the next fuck.

For some this is an erotic literature site. For others its just suck and fuck stories for the jackoff crowd. Guess a writer has got to know his own limitations.

The story is moving very slowly - snail's pace! But I gave it a 5 rating to offset as much as possible the Morality Police - those than have no imagination and can never admit someone may have a different outlook on life. Looking forward to Ch. 02!

Making slow progress, Elizabeth is gradually being worked on by her friends, slow progress at the minute but I guess thing will soon speed up.

I totally understand character building and set up, but I agree with the other commenters, it's proceeding too slowly. Get to the cucking would you? hehe

There is too much narration. Yeah, it would probablly go even more slowly, but it is better to hear directly from the characters than it is to be TOLD the story by an omnicient narrator.

3* could do a lot better with the same theme

I am enjoying the slow start I find that the progression of a woman from very inexperienced to very experienced fascinating. There are plenty of fuck stories hre for those that want it that way. Carry on with what you are doing its a great story so far.

please don't turn her into a slut as the story progresses. Just a hot wife who probably has to go elsewhere for her se but these stories of women suddenly fucking anybody and having multi men sex and turning into a whore also available elsewhere, are getting a bit boring. Keep it real.

usual shit from another WIMPY FAG "author".

Somebody said Just Another Story by a wimpy fag author; fucking spare me !I throughout life I've noticed that those that bash on the gay population so to speek are closeted themselves, I myself have swung both ways and still I prefer women to the point that I do love wearing their lingerie and high heels and every piece of feminine clothing that will make me feel sexy and beautiful.

I'm enjoying the way you're building this Young Bride into a woman beginner Curiosities and eventually she will be hotter than.a Hustler centerfold.. so keep it coming because as pg-rated as this is so far I know it's going to get better way better

A good story will show one or more characters that change, grow, or develop. The reader can connect, empathize, or learn some new insight. I suspect these main characters will develop and learn quite a lot in this story! I can relate…. So I appreciate the 'slow development' of the story. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

Would have given this story 5* but was a little disappointed in that this chap could muster a little under 5". Im sorry but that is not small, at least not very small. The balls the size of marbles makes sense and I dont know his thickness yet. If he is to be small it should be a little under 4". It has been discovered of recent times that the average penis is about 5.75" stiff. this was calculated by actual measurement of penis' not by mens reported statistics Please find time to change this to a more realistic "small". very good other than this and am enjoying the build up..

A potentially good story developing here but spoiled as so many are by the 'Big Cock' horse shit. "Is his cock big enough to make you cum?" That sentence alone brings this down to 3 stars.