All Comments on 'Mary and Alvin Ch. 07'

Melissa, you do realise you should be looking for a publisher? Your writing is becoming more assured every chapter, it seems so effortless. Wonderful, beautiful writing.

The last time I made a wish for a chapter about Bonnie and Alvin, and my wish came true! As much as I love the Mary and Alvin story line, now I'm going to wish for a chapter about Jennifer and Danielle and their locker room romance.

I've been with you from the first on this story MellisaBaby, but this is the first time I've made a comment. Most everyone agrees that your prose flows naturally, but I fear that many times some of your best writing might get overlooked. Like: "He lay his head on Mary's back. He could hear her heart beating. Please don't stop beating he thought. Don't ever stop beating." Call me ol' misty eyes.

I hope you are planning a continuation as there are too many loose ends to this wonderful love story.

There is much more to Mary and Alvin's story. Thank you (all of you) for reading and for commenting. I hope you will stick around for the journey.

It is very, very good!!

I love this story not just the people in the story but the description of the landscape makes me able to see it in my mind. Please keep writing

Not a bad story there Melissa. But I started reading this story yesterday evening and it’s now 2.40am in England and I must get some sleep. But seriously I loved the story. Loved it so much I kept looking for errors just to find fault!! 😂. I’ve been to Massachusetts; New Hampshire and Vermont but never to Maine. But I do live on the coast so it didn’t need much imagination.

Excellent story. And bringing in the sorrowful joy of Neutral Milk Hotel to the mix almost made me cry, imagening the magic of that moment. Must read on, bye bye and thank you.

Thank you for this story.

A story I didn‘t expect to read on Literotica.

The first lit-story for me about death, birth control and serious thoughts - so much more than I use to read here.

good, except for the odd "off of". "off" is used by itself in normal english.

Pretty good, although I have to say that I'm shocked Charlotte didn't "cock block" a lot more than she tried to. The grove gathering felt so comfortable with the guitar playing, hearing the peepers (looked them up) and I even discovered a Maine "dictionary," which proved quite helpful--as you truly captured the local flavor in their food and vocabulary.

*

Glad to see Di but especially Jennifer accept Mary so readily. It is hard adapting to the "right coast," but everything's falling into place with her acclimation and them accepting her. Well done! 5