All Comments on 'Mary's Secret Winter Orgasms'

Nice, sweet story. I can't wait for more (and to see what Boots will add!)

I tend to write about this same length, and often get told in comments that it needs to be longer. I take that as a compliment that people are enjoying it, and I want you to take it the same way.

That said, when re-writing, I often find that the characters have five senses and I'm not using them all. The slickness of cum on skin, the slight traction of lips in a kiss, the smell of her excitement, the taste of her pussy, the way her blue eyes track my cock as she targets it... enquiring minds want to know.

I also find the inner world sometimes left out. How you feel about someone, how she feels about you, how you move together, how the logic works out, how the illogic and passion works out.

You seem to have a good handle on those issues, but all I can say is More. Love the characters, love how they play together and respect each other. You write well naturally, just remember to rewrite and fill everything else in. We will enjoy your work even more.

More

Love the storyline, the Characters and the story as a whole. Keep up the good work!

Completely fine to do in your 20''s?

Maybe a sleepover and over

I'm hard as a rock after reading this. Great writing! Have her stick her finger up his ass and blow him to orgasm while she wriggles it around inside him.

Delightful, can't wait for chapter 2!

To start,I love incest. Now add another girl into the picture. Holly Cow, every man's dream. Yes, please continue this story.

One of the hottest stories I have read in a long time.

you need to continue31A7

Fantastic story please go on

Your story is fun and arousing! More More!

Even with a blanket covering them I doubt that the odor of sex would not escape the noses of mom and dad. Unless they chose not to notice.

Part two? Of course I can hardly wait.

I see the old cliffhanger technique is alive and well. I will never forgive you if we never get all the salacious details of Boots and the two horny shut-ins melting the snow with the heat of the shameless passion the girls clearly planned out in advance. Well done!

A nicely written story, love the step kids and the seemingly clueless parents..

The whole scenario is just amazing I love reading these stories. Great grammar and excellent penmanship, very well. May want to do a bit of proof reading before publishing though. Just a few misspelled words here and there, but overall, very well indeed.

Did this really happen ? More please !

Very hot story, the kind that gets my juices flowing. :-)

I get the feeling there is so much more to told yet, especially when "boots" arrives.

Proof reading is a must and grammar is as well. Good Story though. Maybe next time, set it up a little better and don't rush to the end.

I agree, proof reading your story would make it a bit easier to read. Not that is was difficult. Just numerous little errors. I liked the story and how you told it. Some of the things you wrote about might have been a bit unrealistic but hey it's your fantasy story. Works for me. Look forward to reading #2

Super Mario Brothers 2 came out in October 1988. Noticed more than a couple little mistakes in punctuation, capitalization. decent story, could have used someone else going over it before posting.