by JolliTheApple
Though I already wanted the slave for Manu...
Looking forward to whatever you've got planned.
I read this, it was okay. Then I checked your profile, and then saw you had another story in a different category. Like this one, it lacked depth and it's unfinished. Sorry, but the story isn't intriguing enough to wait for you to tell it if you're bouncing around all over the place. You're other story is more interesting but you need to finish it in a timely manner or I won't bother coming back to it either.
Agree with MJ, I wanted the slave for Manu. Really now, Badru's not going to have orgies, slaves & other things because 'Father scolded us'?
hope you'll continue this one. It sucks for readers when they get into a story and then it doesn't continue or end. Ignore the negative reviews unless they actually give some examples of things that could be improved. I do have to wonder why you had the beginning concentrate on Manu if the slave ends up with his brother and they become the main characters. But, I won't assume you are doing this and not. I think the comment about lacking depth is a bit early. A story has to start and the first chapter is not always mind blowing with all the excitement since you are setting the story up and presenting characters. I will say that Manu has to play a big part since he was developed most. Keep writing and try to send an update soon.
Great story!
I don't say, I haven't read better, but it's an interesting beggining. It's seems to be the first part of a long novel. I hope you will write it. I'd like to read.
Lot's of luck for it!