All Comments on 'Me and My Daughters' Summer'

These are stories...Not Instant Messages. Lol? Stupid. "And such"? What does that mean? Write like you are mature.

Who is Brian? What's his relationship to the mom? Is he mom's brother, making Johnny Becky's cousin? Or is Brian mom's new boyfriend? Or is he the new husband, Becky's step-father? Nothing about this story makes sense without context. It's just names with no relationship or meaning behind them. In short, it's an incomplete story. Worse, it's honestly not written very well. For starters, NEVER use "LOL" and "OMG" as a part of the narrative or dialogue. NEVER.

Having what you think is a good idea for a story doesn't make you a good writer. Hone your craft. If you're new to it, accept the fact that you're gonna fuck it up at the beginning and make all kinds of mistakes. This is part of the learning process. Learn from your mistakes, come up with a NEW story idea and do better next time.

Rather disjointed. Hard to tell what's going on, or who the principal characters are on relation to each other.

Hate to throw cold water on this story but, dude you need to have stories like this proofed. I felt as if I was speed reading through an entire summer in one sentence. I read it twice and was still confused as to who was who, where they were, and what was going on. You should use this as a rough draft and flesh it out more, a great deal more. Develop the storyline more so it’s easier to follow. Could have been a great story.

It was a little disjointed and hard to follow.

Read all the comments; then start over, slow down and relax.

Thank you for your advice and blunt feedback. When I relive this summer it is almost like a quick blur! I can see now how a reader would need more context and detail. I will work on a re-write!

Thank you all so much for the blunt feedback. I can see now how hard the story is to follow. I will work on re-writing this one!