by CasaDeSalamander
Went from decent to shit by the halfway point. Looks like you rushed it.
This story went from interesting and kind of hot, to a sick and twisted rape by the end. Not a good idea to mix themes into a story without proper transitions.
Rape is never cool. Seduction is, but not rape. Such wasted potential.
Quite a savage story. The writing, as another reader commented, feels rushed and it seems like the author began writing one type of story - seduction/incest - and then changed it to abuse/rape. The lack of continuity undermines the story. In need of rewriting to make it coherent.
As it stands, this story is half-baked.
best i've ever read, the dirty talk, the savageness, it is awesome and it isn't rape if they were willing participants. just rough and really wild and that is EXACTLY how stories should be.