All Comments on 'Melody's Male Nurse'

QUITE GOOD

JUST GET LIE AND LAY RIGHT

LIE LAY LAIN LYING

LAY LAID LAID LAYING

THIS STORY IS NOT A BAD REWRITE , BUT ALL STORIES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER. MOM / SON , SON /MOM , DAD / DAUGHTER , DAUGHTER / DAD WE ALL GET HURT AND NEED HELP, BY SOMEONE IN THE FAMILY. IT'S A GOOD STORY. AND I'AM SURE IT WILL BE TOLD OVER AND OVER IN DIFFERENT PAIRINGS......LAROC OF AGES

Needs an editor, lots of simple mistakes in here. Also. How is the daughter using a dildo when her hands are busted? Her being helpless was the whole point!

The story would have been an excellent read but the grammar/spelling errors made it more difficult to read. If her arms were broken she should not have had the ability to maneuver a sex toy to her pussy. Don't rely on a system spellchecker but have a person review it. Don't stop writing. Storyline earns a 5 star rating but the grammar errors brought it to a 3.

The technical spelling/grammar/sentence-structure issues aside, this story could have benefited greatly from having an editor who could polish it. It's a fairly good premise and decent story idea (I've seen a few variations on it before), but it comes across as being formulaic- like the author really, really wants to get to the racy bits faster than he wants to actually tell the story. There's a lot more character development that could've been done, too- the father and daughter both seem almost like cardboard cutouts rather than people. I'll keep a close out out for the next part. Between now and then, I hope you'll take this constructive criticism to heart- I make these points only so that you can improve your craft and tell an awesome story. Just don't forget the main bit of advice: get an editor!

More please

This was a good first effort but like the others said really needed an editor tol clean it up and make it a more enjoyable read without all the errors. Continue it with him finally getting to fuck her and then find out who the girl was that she had the bi experience with (maybe her sister) and he can get her too.

I'm still a teenager and a virgin and That story made me so wet. Too bad your not my daddy.

This story was a certain **** Four star until I read the bit about 10" dicks, then my laughter just made it seem ludicrous. So I gave you *** Three stars.

The pathetic preoccupation with huge dongs ruins credibility.

On the other hand, it is possible that the author measures his - from the top of his kneecap. . . . . . whatever . . .

nice but we want more. 5 stars