All Comments on 'Memoirs of a Boy in Monsterbrothel Ch. 03'

First off: I liked it a lot! Read all three chapters in a row and decided to comment at the very end instead of for each chapter! As a whole: very good. What did I like about it? I liked that your story is different, unusual, but not too alien on the monster side. You could think of some strange storylines with monsters being all about tentacles or goo or whatnot and being evil. I liked that you made your monsters lovable characters as far as one could make up from the story, because since they are only customers and your protagonist being the one character that is present in all three chapters, there is not much room for character development and sometimes not enough room to get to know the character of a single chapter. In chapter one you managed very well to introduce the monster girl to the reader, less so in the following chapters. It does not bother me as much in the third character because instead of get to know a certain character we get some insight into the ways of the dark elves.

Anyhow, there are also some small bits of criticism, because what use would a comment be if you won't learn from it and make your future stories even better? It might be a good idea to have someone read the stories before publishing. Especially chapter two should have been checked for spelling mistakes and grammar. In some places you end a sentence but it feels as if half of it is missing. Please consider that for the future. Apart from that: good read I really enjoyed! Keep up the good work!

My earlier stories were written without a little treasure called Grammarly, and I am not a native English writer, so please bear with me.

I liked that your story is different, unusual, but not too alien on the monster side. You could think of some strange storylines with monsters being all about tentacles or goo or whatnot and being evil.

>thanks, but as for evil, I have a soft heart, even writing Theo and other stories I winced. Maybe I will write where a real evil monster girl will have some victory but will feel remorse or soften over time. There is enough Edgy fiction and I do not intend to further degenerate the world.

I liked that you made your monsters lovable characters as far as one could make up from the story, because since they are only customers and your protagonist being the one character that is present in all three chapters, there is not much room for character development and sometimes not enough room to get to know the character of a single chapter.

>I planned to write soft, normal stories but without the PORN, you don't get much readers ya know...So I made it a brothel where the customers dont need to be known much. But I will try to give more character.

In chapter one you managed very well to introduce the monster girl to the reader, less so in the following chapters. It does not bother me as much in the third character because instead of get to know a certain character we get some insight into the ways of the dark elves.

>I'd love to, but I am afraid unless I get to porny sexy bits people won't read as much ya know. Look at chapter 1. TONS of views. My other less porn, more plot fictions? 3000 tops, and I think Theo, Blood Angel of Lescatie IS GOOD but doesnt draw as much :(

>Anyhow, there are also some small bits of criticism, because what use would a comment be if you won't learn from it and make your future stories even better? It might be a good idea to have someone read the stories before publishing. Especially chapter two should have been checked for spelling mistakes and grammar. In some places you end a sentence but it feels as if half of it is missing. Please consider that for the future. Apart from that: good read I really enjoyed! Keep up the good work!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

I discovered Grammarly. So yeah.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHH!

zoggit.

6000? Holy Gods... that made me laugh till I cried.

I almost couldn't finish the story because of how hilarious the orc speech was. it was made even funnier when I realized it made them sound like british gangsters. Overall very good