All Comments on 'Michael and Gina'

Put his big sister in the club

Am I mistaken or did you say this was your FIRST story? I can't believe that - this was very, very good! Very few mistakes - possibly typos. I don't give five stars often. When you said you were gay I thought it might have problems, being a boy-girl story, but I'd give you a shot. Glad I did. Thanks.

5 stars well done.

This wasnt bad but it wasnt good either. It was like a bad black caricature with the way they interacted. The dialogue was stilted and tried to come off as not trying to make michael sound like hes was from the hood or black for that matter. There was lapses in there that an editor I hope would catch and remove. I can only assume that michael and gina are black because theres no real description other than an offhanded comment about white girls, brotha, etc. I couldnt get into this. The sexual parts werent erotica because of all of this. I just started scanning through it. Continue to work but find an editor. Good luck.

I can't wait to read more hopefully you'll continue this story

got a third of the way down the first page and thought i was going to fall asleep this just didn't grab my attention. if a story doesn't grab me in the first half page it isn't worth continuing.

???

This is fiction, so you can write all you want, it's not bad. It'S not meant to teach...lol

You write really well. Keep it going. Ignore the anonymous cranks who aren't willing to identify who they are.

Draw out the sex bits a bit more. You have plenty of dialog to help establish the characters and their relationship. The gold is when these characters cross that forbidden line, so expound a bit more.

Thanks for sharing. 4* Slainté

SOO much effing drama!