All Comments on 'Sisterly Exploration Ch. 02'

.....car, but what is a 'stirring wheel'?

Did you bother to read through what you'd written?

That is "Proof Read"?

It would have been far better if you had written it in the 'Past Tense'.

Example, using your first paragraph - "Michelle pulls her car into the garage next to Aruri's. She looks around to see if he's lying in wait, but she doesn't see him. "

How about - "Michelle pulled her car into the garage next to Aruri's, looking around to see if he's lying in wait, but she didn't see him. "

"orgasmic cumming". You're describing an orgasm by saying it's orgasmic. Well done, would never have guessed.

And it's past, not passed

Okay, this your story number nine. With that experience, you should have learned something from the feedback. Let's assume you're not a ninth-grader who hasn't had a grammar class yet. Your syntax (mixing tense and combination of words) really detracts from the appeal of your story. Your characters don't have to be super-sophisticated, but they shouldn't be retards either. You really need an editor. (I'd volunteer but I'm still anon.) Pay attention to the constructive criticism, and don't be put off by the trolls.

Great story but I recommend proofreading before uploading.

Don't listen to everyone else. This is after all a porn site. Grammer and spelling aren't everything. I mean I could understand what you were trying to say. The story line was great and I loved Michelles Massage even more. The only thing I would have changed would have been the color of his skin. I just think it might have been better if they were both perhaps mixed?

It takes a special kinda person to be a grammar nazi on a pornographic literature website.

That was freaking hot!

Actually, grammar and spelling are the bedrock of writing, the foundation. By all means, let's listen to the "person" who slams others for caring about basic English but can't spell grammar.

I find it interesting that people feel justified being an asshole when they give feedback. Touting superior writing skills while displaying inferior character is lame, at best.

Loved the story!!!

FANTASTIC BROTHER and SISTER STORY.

Can't wait until the next EPISODE.

Amazing! Absolutely amazing! Definitely the hottest, sexiest, best fuckin story I’ve ever read! I’ve read some great stories, but the sex in this story is hands down fuckin hott!! Excellent story. Thanks!