All Comments on 'Mid-Life Oasis Ch. 01'

I liked it but it moved a little fast, like you were in a rush to get through the setup to get to Chapter 2 perhaps. Slowing it down and getting more description in would be good in my book.

Contemporary plot, featuring an alluring submissive exhibitionist, requiring further male character development? EG: An imaginative situation often expands the physical realities of life with proud male authors, vicariously expanding the shape of their genital packages, like a boastful fisherman. Stretching reader credibility may detrimentally inhibit female's enjoyment of her 'DP' or anal sex, already referred to in his 'mid-life crisis' marriage break-up, allowing future financial security to admitted devious 'security camera' capable male litigant?

I think the writing is beautiful; the story line is fun to read. As a mild mannered grammarian, though, I'd like to see your several "like I saids" replaced by "as I saids."

Already a devoted fan of your other works, and now series #3?? I love the way your mind works on this...a bit over-the-top maybe with the excessive materialism after his divorce (really, what's the point of such a magnormouse abode?), but in the end it's a terrific fantasy to see this little beauty turn out to be a little subbie!! LOVE IT!!

great set up

I enjoyed the story for the most part. All the description of wealth was a bit long. The other off putting thing was her admitting she was a little bit submissive and a very few paragraphs later she is asking for a Master. One hell of a reach in my estimation. Then there is the writer who spends an hour or so reading about D/s and seemingly understands all about it.

Obviously you are going to continue the story and I would have recommended the writer start as a Dom and progress with his increased understand and her increasing need to a Master/slave relationship.

All that being said I did read every word, gave you 5 stars and will very likely read at lest the next chapter.

Mike

p.s. Just so you know I do not hate those with money just stories that spend excessive words describing how wonderful wealthy they are.

M

This is a great beginning to another series too! I'm a fan & have been since the first story about Katie. I'm not as critical as others with plot/character development, grammar etc... but with that said, the flow of your writing is great & it's captivating (in my opinion). Well done & looking forward to more of your stories!

I am looking forward to reading about the next six months.

The 1st chapter was pretty good, but it seems more like a set up chapter. I'm interested to see where it goes.

impressive

I really loved this one, well paced, good background story and you didn't plunge into some unrealistic encounter with Jill. I like your style.

Jay