All Comments on 'Midnight Lunch'

Wonderfully written piece. Obviously someone with a real skill. The build up was perfect, I was there in the Mini Mart, in your room, in your head, feeling everything you felt. I could see all the protagonists in your story. The ending was all I hoped it would be. Well done.

The beauty is in the details! A wonderful well written story that I hope you'll continue on with!

Thank you,

L

I absolutely loved it. So soft. So tender. So beautifully written.

Your writing is just fking RICH! At the beginning, I wanted to hurry it along to find out what is going to happen. But the style of your writing makes me wait and it feels like a sweet flow of molasses that I have no choice but to wait and watch until it gets where it needs to go. Page by page is rich, engaging, tender and beautiful. I loved everything about it - You are truly truly gifted in your writing - DAMN!!!!!

Artistry beyond anything I've read on Lit. Thank you.

I'm seldom at a loss for words but, having read this story for the fifth time, I can't think of a better one to describe it.

Thanks for sharing.

Amazing!!

Words cannot describe how much I loved this story! Thank you!

Just perfect, it's like you got into my head. I even work at a mini-mart.

Robin, in this story you have painted a perfect word picture (or series of pictures). i could feel myself in that mini-mart, seeing all the strange night-wanderers coming in and out, feeling the banality of it all. And the slow burn between Jean and Maria was so real and believable, so much like the life that most of us have to lead, where we need to work towards our goals with no instant gratification. My congratulations---very well done.

Super sexy, fantastic writing!

In-fuckin-credible! This story is so materfully done. The characters identifiable and relatable. I'm glad I closed my mouth and stopped staring at the screen to comment. Will the sequel be, Morning Dinner. Lol - Please don't leave us hanging like this. What happens next?

Very, very well written.

You're one of the best. Descriptive. Everything I need to read to know I'm there with you. I can smell her as I can also taste you. I felt a chill of night air. Never will I look at a 7/11 clerk the same again.

I loved particularly your descriptiveness and how it drew me in. Like the mini store, I felt the same connection at your apartment. Almost felt like I was along side you while you were along side her.

But it tailed off at home. The sex was descriptive at first, but towards pg 4 what I liked so much became more blurred and generic. It could have been so, so, so very much better had you kept going.

I wanted more sex. Why wasn't there a strapon? Why didn't you, being a dyke, put it on and make her ride you before you got up and bent her, standing up, over your mattress? She wanted it, and I wanted to be next to you, rooting you on as you gave it to her for both of us. I wanted to be her, feeling you gently arch me over, holding me as you penetrated me deeply...

It could have been a good slow fuck that way until she begs for a hammering finish.

Why? Why not? What a let down for such a stunning, descriptive beginning.

You described thick ovulating mucus that a woman gives when she's begging for a fucking. And you needed one as much as you needed to give her one.

For that matter, she could have fucked you with your own strappie.

Think before you finish.

As you know my first language is German and even with my limitations, I can see all the truth, passion and emotion in your writing, for all of us reading your stories, you bring your characters to life, and of course we want more!

I'm sure by now you know everyone of us that can't write a story to save our life, will have advice for you, the story should have more sex,,, how the story should have ended. Just like everyone else I too have advice,,, my advice, you don't need any advice from those of us that haven't written a single story. You're doing a wonderful job without our help, keep up the great writing.....

I loved this story "Midnight Lunch" from start to ending! _ Thank you.....

Happy Monday!

Gay Kat.

This was so amazing and is the first story that I have ever left a comment to. I am speechless yet dying for more. I want to read each and every word that you have written, erotic or not. Please.

Two people falling in love, told expertly. Every single sentence sparkles.

Just amazing! Thanks so much.

Soft, sweet, singing.

I could fill this comment with superlatives and still fall short. The way you showed the little details about the clerk, her routines and her distractions was so good that it laid the groundwork perfectly even before any sex happened. I knew knew the character, her life, her story, her ambitions, her problems and then came the other girl, gelling in naturally into the story.

Once again, your eloquence with words made her stand out as a character. I cannot appreciate enough the contrast you pulled between the clerk and her love. Rich detail on the night-shift clerk followed by scant details on the new girl. The combination of allure and mystery added to the story.

Lastly, the build-up to the sex was tender, loving and never rushed. Yet, I didn't skim at all for the payoff. The time invested in fomenting the relationship never seemed stagnant. If anything, it added to the final sex (which was so hot). Even more than the sex, the little trifling details like playing on her phone, making food, spooning and talking together - it enhanced the experience for me.

5 stars. Only because I can't give more.

You can write, that's all you need to know.

I unable give you any useful criticism. I just want to thank you for writing this.

So incredibly amazing. Witty, poetic, suspenseful, romantic, sexy- I could go on and on. Thank you. :]

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful story.

I've never read anything quite so beautiful. Thank you

Don't know... How could I say anything about Mozart or Chopin, or criticize "Starry Starry Night"?

You've give a Mastrrclass in writing & I'm dumbfounded, awed.

Thank you.

XOX

T

Speechless,awed..amazed.thank you

This was such a capturing story I couldn't stop reading! You are an excellent writer. Enough details to make me feel like I'm there, but not so many I get annoyed waiting for the rest of the story. Good balance. Oh, only criticism: It's 'all of a sudden.' Otherwise, no complaints at all. Please keep writing! I'm about to check for a part 2 but had to stop to comment.

This is such a well written story, I was captivated from the start. All I could think about when I was finished is how interesting it would be to read the same story but from Maria's perspective, as a part two or something. Thanks for sharing and keep up the great work :)

But this story was so good ! I loved it .

This is so good and romantic and hot and well written and I want to be you when I grow up holy shit @__@ you have an amazing voice!

Salish said it beautifully.

I love her stories, too.

Thank you, this was worth rereading. I don't think a followup would work, but I'd love to think there was a long term happy ever after. A definite favourite.

I’m bout to cry I’ve been looking for this story for so long , I read it like three weeks ago but couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I had forgotten the name 😭 then I just searched up midnight out of frustration and here I am

I think this easily ranks as one of my all time favorites. Well paced, well written, believable and interesting characters, with believable and interesting personalities. Speaking as a lesbian, and as an individual, it’s not always easy to find Lesbian content that really takes my breath away. But you’ve done everything so beautifully, so perfectly. So thanks! Keep writing, please?

Changes happen and some are really intense ..... Your ART of writing is kind of unique touching interesting ..... 5 stars for shure

Loved the flow and simplistic beauty of this tale.

This was the most beautiful lesbian story I've read on Literotica. However, I want to know more about Maria - Who is she? Where does she work? Why is she so ready to move in? What is her background? Without that knowledge, she is just a wraith.

this is officially the best story i've ever read on here. the best erotic story i've ever read period!!!!!! i never comment and this is my first time commenting, after reading this it would be wrong to not tell you how much awe your story left me with!!!!!! your voice and style is incredible, it pulled me in and had me in the most beautiful and alluring chokehold i could dream of - i have no words for how stunning your writing and this piece is. people will always have criticisms, but i have absolutely no criticisms and my only words to you are never stop writing, never stop creating. this is truly inspiring work and i thank you for sharing!!!!! i'm truly speechless with your gift and i hope you can see how truly beautiful your words are 💖💖💖💖

Ive read a lot of slow build stories and this is one of them but i think im missing something here. Sorry its me not you.. To my understanding Maria is a figment of her imagination? or is she a stray? The way that the main character describer her like apparition , floating , glides when she walks, it feels like shes real makes me think shes a wraith..but then again theres this big butch who tips that big i dont really get the connection..then she kiss her goodbye and she knows why the butch is giving her tips..huh? is that a happy ending or leave it for me to decide