Millie Ch. 01

Our eyes held each other's gaze for moments, both twinkling in mischief.

"Yes, that's about right. That's what think I want Mother. I want a total slut in bed and a prim and proper Mother in public. A secret so big that it cannot be shared with anyone. Ever. A woman that has done it all and can teach it all and knows how to hide it oh so well!"

Again our eyes held each other for eternal seconds.

"You know what you're asking and what that would ultimately lead to don't you?" The twinkle was still there but the questioning look was too.

"Yes I think I know what you are saying without you saying it Mom." She rose then and went to pour herself another glass of tea. I just got up and slowly walked out. My boxers were severely tented and I am sure she saw.

We had covered a lot of ground in a short time. I guessed that we both were just showing our horniness as neither of us had been out on a date in a long long time. I also figured that the teasing had done it's job, at least on me it had as I was pretty dog gone worked up.

For some reason I knew my Mother was pretty worked up too but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what had triggered it. I knew that I'd start watching her more closely from now on though, even if she did know I was doing it, hell in spite of her knowing! Now I was going to be obvious about ogling her when ever I got the chance.

A couple of weeks passed and neither of us mentioned that little talk again, but things around the house had definitely changed, and for the much better! I noticed Mom was much more casual about keeping her door closed when she was dressing or undressing and knowing if I could see I would look. She was letting me see what I wanted to see as often as we were home together.

She was also pretty careless with her worn underwear. She would strip in the bathroom and leave her clothes piled on top of the hamper with her panties on top of that pile. A lot. She knew I was sniffing them at the very least. To be honest, for me a major part of the turn on in sniffing her panties was knowing that she KNEW I was doing it!

She also began to wear smaller and more sheer underwear. Bras too. They became very sheer and allowed her dark areola to show through quite easily and my Mother wasn't ashamed of her tits at all! In fact after she would get home from work it was not unusual to find her in a pair of short shorts and an old t-shirt sans bra running around the house. She didn't take my old t-shirts though as they were not her style. She bought "V" neck's and the V was perfect for showing off. She must have bought a few that were really large and cut the bottom part off and split the tail so that she could tie it just under her tits as the V was loose and every now and again a tit would come out if she bent down just right, and she always seemed to be able to do that whenever I was there!

We didn't talk much about it and I could tell that Mom was doing her communicating visually instead of vocally and I actually liked that part but was really concerned with the other. I had been doing a lot of reading and studying to try to figure out my feelings and deal with the issues. I had a pretty good idea of what I thought I wanted and I also knew that it was wrong. Mother knew the same things but it was obvious that she would go along with whatever I chose to do. It was tough trying to do what was right for both of us. I knew my Mother was putting this responsibility off on me on purpose. She had been made to make all our decisions all my life and wanted me to experience that major responsibility once myself.

Incest. That's what it was called. Incest. What the word meant was when two first generation or first and second generation relatives indulged in consensual sexual intercourse. Morally apprehensible. Socially cast as though it were the black plague. Huge consequences if caught. Babies deformed and insane if there were conception and almost every definition I had seen referred to a great possibility of conception through any incestuous relationship. Was that what I wanted to share a bed with my own Mother? I had a lot on my plate. Could we? Would we? If I wanted her and she agreed, would there be a chance I could get her pregnant? Did I want that? Did she want that? How would we explain it? How would it start? Should I just go into her room and tell her I wanted to fuck her like a slut? Seduction was far more attractive for me, but wait wasn't that what she was doing to me right now?

I had to think this over and obviously forgetting the teasing and visual stimulus, my Mother was thinking things over too because we hadn't had a discussion session again since that first one. Maybe she had cooled to any notion of sexual contact and was just going to tease me to death. Maybe she only wanted the innuendo and not the real deal. Maybe I was misreading her intentions and letting my non existent sex life make me look toward my own Mother. I hadn't figured anything out and now had more questions than answers. To me she grew in beauty every day and in every way.

I did know one thing, Mother's nipples were fabulous and I loved seeing them as she well knew from me more or less following her around when she was wearing nothing but those little damn t-shirts and her nipples hard as rocks! I was almost as bad just wearing boxers and allowing her to see my well tented crotch all the time. Not many secrets in our little house anymore, but not any real sex either.

We were going to need a catalyst to bring us to the next stage. No matter which way we were to go I wasn't sure either of us was ready to just face the truth. We wanted to have a sexual relationship. Hell, we WERE having a sexual relationship now except we weren't going past the foreplay stage.

I was constantly thinking about my Mother now and very concerned that she might not be thinking of me or about the situation.

My problem was was that I was so confused. My Mother was a certified babe. I knew it and every man I had ever seen within spitting distance of my Mom confirmed it.

My Mother turned me on tremendously.

I was sniffing my Mothers damp panties on an almost daily basis and was enamored with her special fragrance.

I was also routinely licking the panties to taste her. It was good but I wanted to get to the source, at least I thought so. Would that be the start?

I really wanted her to want me too. Did she want me? I mean sexually? Would she want to do "everything" and "anything" with me, her own son? What did I want her to do? Specifically? What did she want me to do with her, for her? She was far and away more sexually experienced than I was. Could I do anything she wanted? Would she just tell me to do things or would I need to discover her wishes on my own? If that were going to be the case I was certain she would quickly became disappointed with her very inexperienced and naive son! Shame and disappointment rained over me when I had these thoughts. How in the living hell could a kid like me ever hope to make a woman like her happy?

I couldn't really answer that because I had little experiences of my own. Oh I had been around other guy's when they would talk about their dates and experiences with girls. I knew the basics and also some pretty nasty things too. I had dated a girl when I was a sophomore but it didn't go too far because I worked too much.

Incest. Did I want to have sex with my own Mother? Was I trying to seduce her? Was she trying to seduce me? What kind of sexual things did I want to do to or with my Mother? Was ANY sex between us considered incest? Everything I read always mentioned sexual intercourse as being incest. So was everything else NOT incest?

I was starting to answer a few of my own questions fairly quickly.

After doing a lot of research through every old Playboy magazine I could lay my hands on I decided that anything sexual except intercourse was fine, as a matter of fact it was only mostly considered foreplay. In fact the general consensus was that everything other than actual intercourse was foreplay! Foreplay was good because we were already starting and well into that. It was that huge gorilla in the room that came after the foreplay that scared the shit out of me.

I was all for foreplay. I was also a big fan of voyeurism and hoped to be a connoisseur of cunnilingus as well as a dedicated participant of most of what was considered fetishes like panty sniffing. Just the mere thought of watching a girl pee turned me on and it was something I hadn't even seen yet, but I knew I wanted to! I also knew I wanted to kiss my Mothers feet and toes. I thought I might like jacking off in front of her so I guess I was a exhibitionist too. Hell I didn't know exactly what I wanted to do with or to my Mom but I was absolutely certain that I DID want to find out if she felt the same. If she did I wasn't sure where it might go but I knew I would enjoy the ride.

Mom was acting very cool as I said. She was open about everything except talking. I needed something to happen to break the ice so to speak and get us going. The more I looked at my Mother the more resolved I became. I wanted her.

I wanted her in the basic man wants woman way. I wanted her in every way. I wanted her sparkling eyes and clear skin face. I wanted her wonderful body for my own. I wanted her every single nasty naughty thought to be about me. Mine were certainly about her. I had given it a lot of thought and especially lately. My Mother wasn't a beauty queen. Oh, she was very pretty to look at and she wore some revealing clothes to accentuate her nice body. She was clean and always dressed nice if provocative. She could carry on a conversation with the damned Pope or laugh with the boys about the filthiest jokes you might ever hear. She was sultry and sexy as well as being prim and proper. Add all of that up and I was in love with a very beautiful woman that I knew was the one I wanted.

I knew.

Now I needed to find a way to convince her or make her understand that I was going to be her man. Not a kid any more. Not her son, but her man. I so desperately needed for her to see me as her man. I wanted her to begin to look at me in a totally new way.

As her lover.