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Click here"His clock is winding down, it seems. Jenny, are you in?"
"No Mistress, you are all I ever want or need."
"Jenny, my dear, you have the makings of a politician. You always surprise me, love. Double ration of Kotex for you, and a bottle of the best rum we can get here, which won't be much, I don't think. Now as for our pneumatic Romeo over here, Michelin's dream-come-true, I won't leave him to cut our throats or rob us blind when he recovers from his fuck with Spiderman. I'll tie him up--bear a hand there, Robin and Jenny--and in the morning return him to his native peat, wi' a glass of rum at his head and feet, eh what?"
Morning came too soon. "Come on, slugbutts, get the Whaler hoisted out." Margarethe threw herself into the evolution, prodding and cursing. She lifted the Brazilian, now dressed, his bonds untied, his cock at last flaccid, but he still shaking off the effects of the night, in a fireman's lift and got him into the Boston Whaler. The engine started on the first shot, even though it had sat for more than two weeks unused.
They let the man off at the beach where he pointed, and he splashed his way ashore, smiling and waving. "Good luck to you, laddie!" called Margarethe, "if you're ever in the old nabe, come by for a wee jar and some jiggy-jiggy! And bring your spider friend and his brother!"
She turned the Whaler sharply about, and said, "All right, crew, you see how your Mistress takes care of you. Now to re-stock, a wee bit shore leave (even you, Robin boy, you did good for once, but don't presume on it) and a swim on these fabled fucking beaches of Recife; then a good dinner and a few capairiñhas (and none of these damned capiroskas, they roil my guts), and off to the end of the world."
"Aye aye," they chorused, "Mistress and Commander."
- COMMENTS
April0647about 13 years agoI'm so glad you caught "scared hidden space."
You are a great proofreader. I wish your services were universal on this site. I might read more stories if I could get through the attempts at written English!
Anonymousabout 13 years agothis story and regret others haven't commented. It is another literary, humorous contribution by a gifted writer. After wading through _Master and Commander_ it is truly "readable," with even a G&S allusion! Thanks, etragon. Maybe everyone else saved their comments until reading more. A fan.
estragonabout 13 years agoAuthorTo prove I treat my stories as I treat others, I submit the following:
“The she ordered,” should be “Then she ordered”.
“hidden scared space”, should be “hidden sacred space”. Who’s afraid of the big bad puss?
“short, stentorian gasps.” Stentorian means loud. He probably hasn’t strength enough to be loud; how about “desperate, shuddering gasps”?
“Margarethe lay down on the large settee and moved against the man, now lying on”. No condom for her, but she insists on one for Robin? Stupid, defeats the purpose. This is beyond a quibble, this shows ineptitude.
“Poor grammar and sytax” should be “poor grammar and syntax”.
Call yourself a copy editor, do you? You’re obviously kidding, mate.
estragonabout 13 years agoAuthoralthough some people have voted on it, I will comment on my story (and obviously not vote). I don't mind if you don't like my story; that's OK, I like it. But if you're going to trouble yourself to bomb it, at least tell me why. And, if you are capable, give a reasoned explanation, e.g., contrived, technical matters or specialized knowledge mentioned are incorrect (and here's why), characters unbelievable, poor grammar and sytax--these are enough examples to be going on with.
