Mitch: Perdition

Of course, we both masturbated after that, hardly attempting to hold back our gasps at all.

The next day, we packed up to let the boys have their turn, and nothing more was said. It was as if it had never happened.

Two weeks later, I graduated at 19 (a year late because we moved and changed schools mid-term) and my newly 18 year old sister attended my grad party, which was a bush party out on an acreage. That night, she lost her virginity in some dank tent to a lame guy in a lumber jacket named Mike. I saw them crawl off together, drunk and stumbling, and felt my anger rise in me like a wave. I suppose I could have done something, beat the bastard up perhaps, and I could have easily hidden it behind normal brotherly over protectiveness, but at that exact moment, it seemed to risky. If I got up out of the lawn chair, someone would know. I don't know why I even remotely thought this, but I did. As I got worked up, though, I could have killed that fucker a thousand times, a thousand different ways in my head. When they didn't come back out within an hour or so, I seethed.

But I took another swig, grinned my best of grins, and pulled the nearest girl down onto my lap. I only knew her by face because she was a few years younger than I was and the school was pretty segregated by age. Donna was her name, I think, but I couldn't really be sure. She was pretty and simple and there for the experience, obviously looking to gain some cred by hanging with the older kids. I was happy to oblige. I squeezed her to provoke a response and she threw her arm around my head, leaning back into me like we were old lovers. I kissed her then, hard, and scared her witless. She bolted up like I had hit her and stumbled off to a better, less serious perch.

And so I laughed bitterly and started to sing, with the entire class around the campfire looking at me like I was crazy. It was "American Pie", though, and within a few verses, everyone was singing their hearts out right along with me, some on and some off key, fifty voices chanting their drunken sermon to the sky.