by need_for_mommys_dick
The way you chose to write the dialogue was bizarre. The bulk of the story is written in the first person, then for all the dialogue you shift to this sort of third person stage direction motif, like it's a screenplay or something. What the hell was that?
I wish my mom had taught me like that i would have a better life but no one ever tried to show me like that.
Continue with the story please with chapter 2.
Pat .
Yet another attempt to be Hemmingway or Steinbeck. Please get in 1 character and stay there. Going from 'Mom's point of view' to 'John's point of view' would have worked if you hadn't started writing a play! And in the story description you identified the son as Jason.
The story is fantastic. The Mother is so understanding of her son's development and needs. More Mom's should learn from this story that they should try to help their son's instead of punishing them for masturbating and putting a guilt trip on them.
Keep up the fine work!
I really liked it... I often fantasize about mom/son scenarios... this was a good one.
What a wonderful story, not to mention a wonderful mom. Ignore the bad comments. You communicated he son's ernestness and as well as the mom's interest in really helping her son even though they both were driven by sexual interest. Yes, there have been multiple, good even, mom helping son masturbate stories. (I hear it is common in some places for mom to help son) But, this story is another good one which makes one wish they were the son, or the mom and could belong to this trist without ill effect or shame. Keep writing.
the first person view is a bit irritating but it is a nice fresh take on some bi play with a domme mother, which I liked. Keep it up and refine it and it could go many great places.
You wrote this as if it was a play with directions for who's talking and what they were doing which made it difficult to read.
Some thought the story was hot, others thought it was difficult to read.
I gave it 1☆ which tells you which side I fall into.