by Harddaysknight
First you get me hopelessly hooked on Lady In Red and then you have to write a story that could easily provide another serial just as good. Congratulations, HDK and thank you for your wonderful contribution to Siren's Song.
To Ignorant Anon, er, James, should we send Dave back over to kick your ass again? Go home, you’re drunk.
You had the perfect set up, the perfect plot development, the perfect opportunity to branch into a new music genres! All she would have needed to say was "Cheeseburger in paradise". Dang! (joking LOL)
Once again great story, thank you.
Many of us miss your humor and red herrings!
Though the rival dropped out of the picture early on. The idea of making love while starving bothers me, since I would expect Dave to have Jessica for dinner......
It's a good romance story.
but, dave is a man-whore.
a man who have promiscuous sex without any commitment is a man-whore.
they might be considerate lover (so that they can catch more girls in their net), but their intention is flawed.
Man-whores are as bad as rapists to me.
One of the best, most fun stories I’ve read here. Great to we you in print again here.
Nice tale, full of charicatures rather than characters, not to be taken too seriously, but enormous fun to read.
Though the story was good and a fun read I can't get past the terrible dialogue. Nobody talks like that in real life, it's just so over the top fake.
Sweet, unrealistic, entertaining, a bit of drama, a happy ending, just like a good story should be. Great read.
That was a fun read. Dave as another poster suggested, did not come across as a man whore. It seems more he aquesed to a few women's desires and in the end chose the woman he needed as opposed to a women he could have.
Good read... had some of that feel from the Lady in Red series and I'm looking forward to more of that from you as well!
James was just too much of a caricature to be real. I'm also having difficulty figuring out how he even ended up on that vacation with them, since her opening comments make clear that Jessica didn't invite him.
The story felt to me like it fell a little in the uncanny valley: The characters were too broadly drawn to be realistic, but at the same time, it wasn't far enough to be satire.
I am often confused by stories that purport to have enlisted the help of an editor. there is a good 3 page story buried in here.
Not one of your best just a typical chick flick in three acts. Every character was better than life. Two doctors, a decorated Iraq veteran, actually two, every guy good looking every girl a babe, extst at the same time in a Podunk town. The overheard conversation in the restroom, the alligator, need I go on?
Still it was an entertaining bit of fluff. So I gave you four stars and some insulin to help with the excessive sugar content!
Once again you show your mastery of the writing craft. You get full marks from me.
@the_artful_codger: As the editor purportedly used, let me welcome you to the ranks of the Literotica crew. Perhaps your expertise will show us purported editors the way.
Brilliant! Almost good enough to make it worth not getting a new chapter for "Lady In Red". ALMOST!!! (Still really good though)
now to listen for the moonlight playing, TK U MLJ LV NV
Romance category twice in a row? Where are the cheating bimbos (ha,ha)?
Despite the fact that you're getting soft I still loved it -- 5*.
Let me ask one question, however; what the fuck is with criticizing a women's sexual abilities to her parents (Yuck)?
Your heroine, Amy
This is one of the BEST stories I have read on here . Great characters, great storyline and the gator got his ass kicked. How much better can a story get! Thanks for writing such a great story and sharing it with us. I look forward to reading more of you romance stories if you will continue to write them! Thank you again!
This is one of the best stories I have read on here and I think the best one you have ever written!!!
Thank you!
I’ve read many wonderful works by many good authors on this sight. Having said that, there really are some that stand out and you sir, are one! There are many qualities about your writing that can be stated; plot, characters, emotions, settings.... but they pale to the thing that I find most enjoyable, your wit. I can’t help but find myself, at a minimum, totally amused and engaged at the situations and characters thoughts and reactions but indeed quite simply hear myself laughing out loud.
Not many could think up a scenario like this whereby the “heroine” is seriously and cringeworthy embarrassed and maligned by the former boyfriends pronouncement at the beginning of the story, that, “she gives lousy blow jobs”, in front of her parents no less and weaves that joke marvelously throughout the whole story in a variety of ways! I chuckled the whole time, for as probably HDK said somewhere else in a story, there’s no such thing as a bad blow job! Kudos for a true hero/gentlemen in Dave. It’s a pity there aren’t more men of character like him. Kudos on an entertaining story! I’m now disappointed that I couldn’t stop reading until the end... and now I’m done....
This was great! Well written, great plot, great development and a very nice read.
You continue to craft such well written tales!!!
With enough snarky humor to remind us that we're reading an HDK tale! ;-)
Thanks very much for your contribution to this event.
I didn't like it one bit. No one speaks like that in real life at all. The dialogue is outright weird. Was unnatural and fake. There was no flow really.
Very nice, entertaining read..thanks...if anything it was a bit tamed & somewhat contained. You normally have a massage to convey.
A very enjoyable romance. Always happy to find one of HDKs stories.
Fun read, cute story, but a bit rushed. Welcome back. Can't wait for more of your stories.
HDK, you are a master of original plots! But this one is very close toThe Blue Roan.
This was an enjoyable read and I could fill in my own characters (Julia Roberts and George Clooney) for the screen play. Even though it was formula driven, it was well done and up to standard for HDK.
Thanks for your sharing your efforts and your wonderful story telling talent.
Making assumptions like that it's hard to get past. Maybe she's not really really doctor after all
Well written, etc. But it's just Steve and Gwen in Florida. When do we get another chapter of LiR? But, hey, thanks.............
Please. See the comment's title. Soon!!!
You’re normally such a good writer. Don’t post in Romance if you’re going to be so shitty about it. Seven foot alligator...for fuck’s sake. You know better. Shame on you.
I’m glad I read this one, and I did enjoy it, but it really seems a bit over-the-top to me. Alligator wrestling? Really? Two days on a deserted island?
As always, thank you for writing, and thank you for sharing your work.
Having read some of the comments I think people forget it is just a tall tale and should be seen as the same.
I see that this is the only romance you have written, please try more it was really good light reading. Five stars. Keep at it.
All the best from Chris from Cornwall, UK.
How realistic could be very questionable. I know doctors residency doesn't work that way. My daughter is a pediatric surgeon. But it's still a very romantic and fun story.
Nice foray into romance. I don’t mind the improbability at all. Could you please tone it down with the exclamation points in the narrative? Too many of them used during omniscient POV pushes the story into the juvenile category below Young Adult, and I think we can all agree we don’t need any more of that on this site.
I have been admonished about my use of exclamation points by a few people. I accept that criticism and I am working on it. Thanks for a solid critique. They help.
1) one does a residency at an established training hospital and a smaller local hospital will not suddenly offer to let a new doc do a residency. It wouldn’t be an accredited residency.
2) alligators mean the gulf coast, mainly Florida. No rocks along the Florida coast.
3) people are whos and things are its. “That is the man who did...” NOT “That is the man that did...”
4) totally unbelievable plot & characterizations
5) screwing for two days on an exposed islet while surviving on dew? Get real.
But I was blow away with lover boy just being a paramedic. Nothing wrong with that, but any high school grad with a few month training can be one. Match that with a Doc??? No disrespect, but that's a stretch. LOL the wife is the bread winner and wears the pants in this on going story...
I liked it. Yeah, there were a couple of things that stretched the imagination a little. You know, like an angry ex boyfriend screaming that my daughter was a lousy cock sucker in a crowded restaurant (I probably would have shot him on the spot, had it been my daughter), or some guy killing a seven foot gator with a folding knife. But it was still just a good little short story, nothing of any earth shattering importance. Oh, and @ Anon. 7/18/20, as far as Dave being only a high school graduate? That’s not exactly true. Dave was a United States freakin Marine. That may not mean squat to you, but then that’s your loss.
Anon. A Marine and a paramedic would indicate he's a solid guy, if not especially wealthy.
Paramedics must complete 1,200 to 1,800 hours of training to qualify for certification. Paramedics take the NREMT and the National Registry Paramedic cognitive exam. Some paramedic training programs offer a two-year degree
I have to laugh at all the comments criticizing little things like rocks, alligators and Paramedic training. To those people I would suggest writing your own story and posting it. See if you can do better (fat chance). With Covid keeping people at home, there have been a LOT of new authors posting stories. 95% of them haven't been worth reading. So when we get something this good, shut up and enjoy it.
5 stars
What a fairy tale!! The hero is so heroic and the damsel so beautiful( if a bit of an empty head - getting mixed up with a mutt like James then totally misjudging the hero on a bit of gossip). Great fantasy, with lots of treacle.! Unreal but entertaining! 3*s.
A solid 5 stars at least! I am going to read some more! PS: A little trashy but not near hard core! Some readers need to go to a “Lit” site without the “erotica”! I enjoyed it!
5 stars.
My only concern is that it felt off when Jessica took the gossip in the bathroom to heart. Dave ignored James' gossip, Dave had already shown her that he wasn't a bedroom talker, they didn't discuss work, and different from most of his other relationships and lastly, he pursued her - starting way before she could expect to be on his father's radar.
Regarding her assumption of what he did for a living... also dumb. With the qualities it takes to be a Maitre 'D, a 2 tour marine,, and a teacher (surfing or not) it should be obvious that he could have earnings potential. Not only that, his mom is a successful business owner, his dad is on the Board of Directors of a hospital, his sister is a cop, and he'd been offered a job as a cop. Why would you think he'd be able to skate by and be unworthy???
What can I say about this Story? Fantastic, James is a bottom feeder. Dave chewed on/out Jessica everywhere else.
5 Star rating 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Great story and story-telling! The premise and ending were entertaining.
***** stars!
Burninglove
Both us old married folks were a bit mushy, kinda misty, had warm hearts and tender feelings, and gushed a sigh of relief during the COMPLETE and forever an ever ending joining two hearts as one.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for a true love romance story ❤️❤️
We do wish that Willow was called to the hospital either during the car accident and/or the boat accident? Also, Willow could have and should have been asked or been part of coming to the hospital with Jessica. Just an added nice touch.
We loved the trying to get me pregnant announcement at the marina as well as the injection of numerous sarcastic and funny retorts through the story.
Sorry the highest rating is only ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
So very good and touched us deeply as to what love is all about!
SW
Too many gossiping skanks in the story especially with their 'Dave' experiences!!
James was a arrogant idiot- can't believe an intelligent person like Jess compares him with Dave!!
Well written! Having lived in a small seaside town, I know you captured the flavor and feeling of being the center of the gossip machine. Excellent!
I enjoyed this story very much. Yes, the characters were somewhat over-the-top and the hospital unrealistic, etc, but it's fiction and I've learned to take some of that in stride.
I did notice that right after their surfing lesson and before applying sun screen to Jessica, Dave turned into Derrick three times, then went back to being Dave.
Thanks again for a good romance.
very good, funny and romantic until the last page, then it was a bit too much
Another 5 star story from Hardaysnight.
Wordy without much sex got the most part, but enough to give it a place in Literotica.
One point—pontoons aren’t just one air chamber but are compartmentalized into at least 3 chambers.
Bill S.
plus the double standards are pretty jarring
it _is_ technically well-written, but that alone doesn't make it a good story
Good build; but dropped to the level of Harlequin at the end of page 4 and stayed dumb.
As Good as the first two readings. I don't understand why people complain when a romance story has a happy ending?
The best of your stories, so far. Excellent characters, best story line and excellent editing. Thank you.
Great story, really enjoy your writing! Although it’s like Mayberry with a beach. Could be a Hallmark movie with everything thing that happened. I was waiting for here loser Ex to come bad into the story. Still thanks for writing! 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Really good story. Enjoyable romp and romance with a bit of Tarzan/Crocodile Dundee action mixed in too. BardnotBard
Wow, what a great read! Another story I've read aloud to my wife... better than television! Thank you!
It started okay but turned into a bucket load of icky cringe particularly at the tail end.
What an exciting and passionate courtship. It makes a nice rom-com for Lifetime or Hallmark. (Kismet?)
Good story, even though I know it’s fictional, there were a few times it drifted too far towards unbelievable, that said I thoroughly enjoyed it, definitely one for an afternoon hallmark movie I think though! Many thanks for writing and posting, Cheers, Ppfzz. 5⭐️