All Comments on 'Mr. and Mrs. America'

A spectacular read. Where does all the criticism come from? This guy has more writing talent in a fingernail clipping than most of us have in our entire bodies.

Jake should seek a separation and tell the children the whole ugly story. Imagine how much fun the surviving conspirators will have trying to put a positive spin on the past 23 years. Then he should go public and let them suffer the fallout of the court of public opinion. It's called going nuclear, and MAD (mutually assured destruction). Think Jo will love him then? If she doesn't she'll look like an even worse villain than she already does. HA!

Even though I rate a story by the quality of the work, I also take into consideration when I have to take a moment to figure out what was was written when there are ALL forms of grammatical errors (misspelled words, missing words, etc). Still gave this one 4 stars though. Why would you write a SHORT story and not proofread it first before submitting it?

Tough read

Fairly well written

Entertaining

Thought provoking

Sneaky bad

My my

Great story with a pussy ending only a female could like.

Shows sometimes doing bad is for the best, this story should touch everyone about how the cost can be too heavy sonetimes.

Immensely and can accept the premise that everyone did what they did for Jake's best interest as they saw it. Not saying I agree with what they did but I can accept they honestly believed it was for the best. For anyone who prefers a much darker, knee jerk, hostile reaction from Jake I suggest a sequel ending by the master Qhml1 by the same title. It won't be better for some but I will say it struck a chord with me. Signed: BTW

Very well written. And TOTAL bullshit. His Father, his best friend and his wife conspire to make a life altering decision for Jake. They think it's the best decision. But how do they know? Maybe Jake turns out to be better suited for the "life" than they all suspect. After all, they're guessing at an outcome, making suppositions about what is coming and then making decisions that completely altered Jake's life. The miscarriage hoax was the worst of all. Mike is gone. No revenge possible there. But Jake sure as hell could have never seen or spoken to his Father again. And he may have been able to sue Jo for fraud, telling the Court that she used a fake pregnancy to get him to marry her. Even if he can't get the marriage annulled he sure as hell could have gotten a divorce and let their kids know what liars and cheats their Mother, their Uncle and their Grandfather were. This was betrayal at the highest level and deserved whatever revenge he could come up with. Even the quality of the overall story couldn't save this awful, disgusting ending. Half a life time ruined by deceivers. No. The ends don't justify the means. This story pissed me off. Well done!

Can't help thinking that Jezzaz is a huge Matt Moreau fan.

Meanwhile, IFF J stays with Jo, handing out '23 and Me' kits at the next "family" holiday get together juuuuust might give her and dear old Dad an inkling of the cost of what they did.

... how much sh*t you would get when you wrote this ending. And yet, you did it anyway - 5 stars for a fine story. And as good as the story was - the commentators spinning themselves into a whirling dervish of outrage was just too funny. I can imagine the spittle on their screens as they compose the comments. Thanks for a good tale and for providing the fodder for some great laughs.

Bill

Really didn't like that his suppose friends and family planned out his entire life for him. From a more or less forced marriage to the job he ended up having.

Great story line. The perfect tragedy. Nicely done. Well worded. I would be livid too but sensibility eventually wins out.

Didn't think of it as being like it was. True life. Was a little disappointed when you said up front there was no sex, couldn't figure how it was going to go. but not bad. The Bear approves. 6 stars, now I have to read part two. Hope you don't blow it.

The BEAR

Is he really so dumb he didnt see Mike was Stabbing him in the back. Get DNA checked on the kids.I bet Mike was fucking Jo every visit

Forgives everyone involved because it was a little over two decades ago.

20 years of ultimate betrayal...

I started out liking the story but is was the ultimate conspiracy of deciding his life for him. Why not tell him upfront what that kind of life was really like? How could he ever trust his wife was telling the truth again? Lying about a pregnancy and a miscarriage? Why didn't he notice that? Women who miscarry usually go into a deep depression. I thought about being in this guys shoes but I've never had any dreams or illusions about what I wanted to do with my life. I never planned on getting a trade and fixing things but grandma said go get a trade so I did. I never planned on getting married but the young lady got pregnant so I married her. I never planned on getting a divorce but she wanted one. I think most of us do not 'plan' our lives with just live them deal with the hand we are dealt with common sense and morals. Interesting premise and well written.

I could ever forgive them no matter how much time had past. The only way I'd consider not divorcing her would be if she paid to DNA test the children to prove they were mine and then confess the whole tale to the kids, not just her side of the story. I'd disown my parents, without delay. Next, being an established author I'd write a pseudo tell-all book. With no way to get even with Mike, I'd simply dispose of all my momentos of him in such a way that no one could retrieve them. As for Jo, I'd treat every word and future action of hers with total suspicion until the day one of us died. If she were to complain, I'd reminder her exactly who it was that broke the trust in the relationship. If she'd get mad about it, let her stew in her own juices or file for divorce and let her become a hypocrite. She'd have to move Heaven and Earth on a daily basis before I'd ever trust her in even the smallest of things. A well written story but Jezzaz must really hate the main character to do him like that.

Forgive, probably. Forget, never. And sadly, it'd be a permanent stain on the relationships. It would cast a pallor over every memory. There would probably be plenty of affection left, but it'd be less that it had been before and it might well keep fading until it was too little to matter. I'm pretty sure I'd go looking for something that wasn't contaminated by lies.

Forgive but never forget. What kind of marriage is it going to be. I was enjoying the story till the revelation part I was so pissed off I just stop reading.

A well written story but I don't understand the 'why' of it. Why did Mike admit the conspiracy to Jake and why did Jake take it so hard. I can understand being angry for the conspiracy the emotions of a miscarriage can be devastating and I can't see a women being able to act enough to pretend she had had one. I'm not sure the author really understands how bad it can be for a couple to lose a child through a miscarriage especially for a women to carry a child to a 5 month term. I don't believe that any wife could be convinced to lie to her husband this way or that she could actually keep up the pretence of being pregnant for 5 months.

The childhood dream shit is just silly. Throughout life we don't achieve all our dreams but usually other things compensate. I guess at the end of the day this story doesn't make sense to me.

So I guess for me the story is a failure.

This story brings up such conflicting emotions. On one side it is a well written and compelling story, but the emotions of how the ends were accomplished could not lead to such easy forgiveness by most men.

Even if all 3 of the betrayers say they loved him and knew what was best fir him, the total lack of honesty on their side shows that the thought their disrespect ends fir him were justified by any means and that is so cruel.

This is coming from a man who has experienced the heartbreak of miscarriage and the loss of a child I know that I could not have so easily forgiven my wife, let alone my father.

This lack of apologies from the wife or father really shows a true lack of love and respect even if they claim they do live him.

Only a 3 due to the total lack of respect fir a man.

Deceived for 20+ yrs whether with good intentions is still wrong

I read this several years ago and the second time was just as good as he first. Thank you. FIVE*****

The kids are Mikes not the fathers...

Wanna bet?

This story bothers me for the same reason as BigGuy33's "Family Tradition". No spoiler, but in both stories the MC's life path was changed by loved ones "who knew what was best".

I don't appreciate that attitude from government and I sure wouldn't from my wife. I could get "past it" but damn sure wouldn't forget.

Jake should consider new hobbies. Maybe he could take up skydiving, or better yet, amateur sports car racing. If Jo thought it was too dangerous he could just tell her to fuck off.

My idea of a perfect "Mr. & Mrs. America" would NOT include a Mr. who had never earned a cent outside academia.

I read some comments before writing this & discovered I had the same feelings but suppressed them.

I’d do a paternity test on all the kids BUT wouldn’t tell the wife unless they came back with a problem.

Analytically I could accept her story, but not emotionally.

Telling the entire story (including the fake pregnancy and miscarriage) to all & Sundry family would be an absolute need if I were to get over this.

Trust would remain sorely compromised.

The letter was an unwarranted hurt.

Bill

“ The kids are Mikes not the fathers...

Wanna bet?”

I have to comment on this, because I can’t stop laughing at this.

You do understand that this is JUST A STORY, right? These people do not exist. The only thing in here you can take as true is what I’ve written and decided, because I wrote it.

This kind of comment is just so weird. It’s like someone is telling me that what I wrote isn’t actually what happened, they know better, even though it’s expressly said in the story to the contrary of this claim. As though these people are real, and this person has the inside scoop that no one else has.

<shakes head> dude, I’m glad you got engaged with the story but no, your claims are baseless and I know this, because I, as I mentioned, I WROTE THIS ANS THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT REAL.

If the author’s goal was to knot my guts over what was done to the MC he achieved it. I suspect this one will live in the back of my mind for the next while.

I’d still punch dad in the face. I don’t care how old he is. Especially with his commentary. The wife… I Don know if I could look at her the same. He knows his friend was a spy. So he knows that the story about his spy life sucking could be a lie. I’m most of the time a gullible man. So when I find something out, I typically become a paranoid man. So finding out my wife derailed my chosen career by putting me through the grief of a dead child? And at the beginning of the marriage no less? I’d doubt mostly everything. That marriage would probably come to an end. Not even by me divorcing her. By the distance I would consciously and subconsciously create. She’d probably initiate. My sister had a miscarriage. The grief I saw in her and her husband, was agonizing. They probably don’t even know that when I found out they lost the baby I cried a lot. I doubt I’m going to have kids but I love my nieces and nephew more than anything. Even if I am terrible at showing it. I’d probably resent the pain of thinking I had lost my child more than the career. No matter how long. That is a harsh pain. In the end they probably did the right thing. I’d still hate them for it.

The one lie that would be hardest to forgive, if ever, was the miscarriage. It was intentional inflicted pain maybe or maybe not necessary for the plan to work but maybe or maybe not forgivable. It would, however, change the dynamic of the marraige forever!

Just a story, then? But one that displays humanity's inhumanity. Betrayed by his friend, his wife and his father. He thinks he is "happy", but those betrayals will consume him until his dying day.

Read QHML1's version of this story; his sequels are excellent because the professor decides he won't tolerate what they've done. So much better than this.

Nicely written, great story, but I guess it is just hard to accept that a person would so quickly accept others being so disrespectful and conniving. Tricking someone to marry you, and then saying it was ok because you wouldn't otherwise have the kids you now love, is disingenuous. Most folk love their kids and the life they have, but expect to be able to decide for themselves if and when they will have kids. Still, a good read for 4 stars.

Very good story. When dreams are destroyed purposely I'm not sure there can be forgiveness.

After all what do we have if don't have our dreams. Some may just fantasy's with no probability of happening but others are necessary. I have never had any particular dream. As a man I fell into the roll of a husband, father and provider for the family. A very selfish wife and mother of my children destroyed that family after only 13 years. Fortunately I found a good woman with 4 children and that family is still around today some 40 years later. The only thing missing is my loving wife who passed some time ago.

By the way this story has been continued by qhml1 as Mr and Mrs America, after the letter.

Adding to my long comment I forgot part of the families deception was his wife having a miscarriage, the one act alone was extremely cruel considering the kind of guy our Mr. America was. No, no forgiveness.

So so lots of words, kind of dragged out and rambling on about would of, could of, should of; and what’s inside someone’s head and thoughts!

Yes it told a story of life from a point of view - and committed lifelong love.

OK story, and something drove you to visualize the words and create the storyline, as it is was a story you needed to tell from your experience, family or friends experience, or whatever sparked you to get our words on paper.

For us, not a 5 but not a 1.

Touching. Awesome story. THANK YOU!

Ok, even though i found this touching, incredible, awesome, and all that, I wondered: why didn't Jo just tell him how she felt. Why not make it a condition that he NOT join the spy world as a condition for their relationship. Then, Jo would have been up-front with no fake miscarriage, Dad wouldn't have manipulated his life, and friend wouldn't have interfered where he wasn't invited. It would have been his decision and none other: he would have failed or succeeded on his own merits, not as a collusion between Dad, BF and spouse. Yeah, I know, it would have been a different story.

Thanks again for the awesome story.

That is some fine writing.

I'm grateful.

five stars how can you not be touched in someway as too not feel a part of it .

There is very good prose in this well-edited and engaging story despite a few lapses in pages two and three—and I can't help but point out "My best friend in the world was finally bearing his soul to me…." A few of the commentators have made worthwhile and detailed analyses of the story. A good read, far superior to the usual offerings of Lit.

Sounds like the father was a bit more than a bagman.

I'm not crying, you are crying... 5stars

Great story, we’ll written. 5 stars. Thanks for sharing.

OH. MY. GOD. So much rambling and tangents, I couldn't tell if there was an actual story there. After the first two pages of it not actually going anywhere, I started skimming; and still couldn't find a story. I really hope you eventually learned how to tell a story, and that your later efforts are more readable; I won't be bothering to find out.

I read this years ago, gave it a five, but felt that Jake had been brutally betrayed. I still feel the same way. Now I wonder how Jake managed the handle the rest of his life. I'll read QM's follow up to see how what he wrote. I'm not optimistic.

So where is the line where he asks her the rhetorical question "what else is a lie? What else have you kept from me? How can I ever trust you?"

Could not give a 5 because there was no drama about payback for her life-changing fraud.

" I can't say it in Klingon, but "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one." "

That would have been, Vulcan.

If he was truly fit to be a spy then he'd suspect the parentage of his children and check it.

As this was written a while ago, I'll avoid the usual comments, besides a good read, enjoyed the switching between the letter and the fill-in by the MC.

Just in passing I hope to use your error in spelling of 'pore' [I love him and feel it in every pour] Now somehow or other I'm gunna use the line in a yarn and drop it on here. PS 4.99 stars why? because you included political commentary, so here is mine...There is no, and there has never ever been a good 'Politician' or political party of any sort in any country on the planet; period

⭐⭐⭐

Suspend reality and just enjoy a well-written story

Amazing, deep, and not afraid to confront complexity. On a small note, I really liked "Like most Americans, I tend to think that somebody who speaks with a British accent must be -- has to be -- smarter than I am." Through independent observation across many years, I also have found this to be both laughable and true. Thanks.

Never left a comment but it is still great story!

5

I thought that I made a comment about this story several years ago but I don't see my responce anywhere except unless it was as an anonymous.. I have to agree with Mike as a best of best friends in keeping him out of the spy shit . What a TRUE friend. God if we ALL had such a friend in our lives. Loved the story, KUDOS!!

Honesty is a crucial element in a relationship, especially a marriage. What we have here is blatant dishonesty by a supposed friend, a sperm donor who wasn't much of a father, and a manipulative bitch. The same end could have been achieved with honesty and love instead of dishonesty and betrayal.

This is just a typical "the end justifies the means" story, only poorly written.

Reread this - was on my list and was surprised I had not rated it.

Great writing however the ending left me feeling “meh.”. Acceptance after learning how he had been manipulated? That isn’t a friend. That isn’t a wife. That isn’t a “dad”.

As an “oh well” type of tale I can understand why I left it blank. Plots as a five, reads as a three.

I agree with Grimmer: "Acceptance after learning how he had been manipulated? That isn’t a friend. That isn’t a wife. That isn’t a 'dad'."

great story. no nitpicking from me

A life founded on lies and manipulation? Would have still divorced her, likely punched my father in the face and kicked his balls. And if not divorce, certainly moving into the guest room - if he had to build it from scratch. Or a tent in the back yard (not in Rockford, though).

Having been manipulated by an ex-wife, sometimes adroitly other times not so much, makes those types of things grate like fingernails on slate.

Well written, I grant.

Excellent story. Unbelievable betrayal. A miscarriage? I can not think of a more damning and damaging lie. I don't know how Jake could ever truly trust his wife or father again. Maybe he could get through the rest of his life by remembering his kids, but I don't know how he could ever get past the betrayal and manipulation. Very well written.

Uhhh...forced into marriage by the pregnancy lie. Then the whole crying about the miscarriage. That's just brutal betrayal.

He's thinking his unborn child died in its 5th month. And there was no child.

Lies from his manipulative wife. His dead immoral friend. And his asshole father.

I would leave the wife and ask for a divorce. Visit my father, and right in front of my mother I would break his nose and his jaw. And while he was rolling around on the ground I'd kick him in his balls for good measure. And I'd never speak to him again.

I was close to my father. But if he'd have manipulated my life like this? Forced me into marriage...I dead baby that wasn't...and played games with my career choices? Yeah I'd have knocked him the fuck out.

And I'd be pissing on my dead friend's grave.

He was living a lie for more than 2 decades.

Fuck this cunt of a wife. Lawyer. Enough said.

A true non-sexual classic. A betrayal in the best interests of the betrayed. A conspiracy no less. Amazing touching and real.

Really well written story. But I'm not sure I could be so forgiving. The wife friend and dad may have been right that he would not have been able to do the job. Bit they didn't know that no one does. He may have ended up a shell of a man or dead or he may have been just as good a person or even a better one. The so called pregnancy and miscarriage scenario was base manipulation and lying at its most awful level. Trust with his dad and wife must be compromised now. Am now planning to read Qhml aftermath follow up which is how I came to read this. But will be returning to read more of your work as this is a really thought provoking story and I thank you for that. BardnotBard

When I can't stop reading a story then mull over it instead of reading another, then to me it's worthy.

Begs the age old question "Do the ends justify the means?"

Thank you jezzaz 5/5

So funny, the idea that some clown munting around the world comes anywhere close to the importance of a university professor makes me chuckle, all the more so when some of those 'professors' do side work as couriers and analyst work for those questionable agencies.

If the guy wasn't good enough to be approached by said agencies while working as an academic, I seriously doubt he had what it took. I have to chuckle knowing that even so called subversives like that member of the 60s NYC band The Fuggs went on to be a CIA analyst ...

What a well written and heart warming story.

The pregnancy manipulation would be the unforgivable part. At least for me, and I suspect many others too. The guy was dead, so.... Fin. But the wife and parents, now, would be another story. Guess I will have to read the sequel before commenting further.

My father and wife would have to suffer more than they did. Especially with the father throwing salt in the wound. That relationship might have died

Great story

Bullshit.

He was MANIPULATED by his wife into marriage based on the lie that she was pregnant with his child.

Unforgivable.

The marriage would be over.

And I'd make one more trip to my parents home. When both dad and mom were there.

I'd confront my father in front of my mother. And when he was flippant about having lied to me. And set me up?

I'd beat the shot put of that old man. Like really beat him. Not to kill him. But probably break a bone or two. Definitely break his nose. Kick a knee out of joint. Just enough that he'd need some surgery. Be out of commission for 3 or 4 months and so that he'd never walk quite right again. Just so he'd remember why his leg hurt him when he stood up every time. Why he needed a cane to get around...so he'd remember that his son did that to him.

That his son hasn't spoken another word to him after he left him beaten and bleeding on the floor of his family room. How he'd beaten him in front of his wife...how his own son had cursed him and told him "you are now dead to me for lying and manipulating my life."

And that'd be it. I'd never speak to him ever again. And if...during that confrontation...if I found that my mother was also complicit in the deception? Was even aware of it and didn't tell me? She'd be cut off from me as well.

I'd then request from my university a sabbatical...I'd take it in Europe somewhere. And make sure the divorce went through while I was away for a few years in Europe.

This knowledge...of this entrapment...this kind of lying...to any man with any depth? Would taint everything about his life. All the happy times. I'd have the over riding question that could never be fully answered..."if she is capable of lying and manipulating this? What else is she capable of lying about? What other things in my life is she manipulating?"

It'd be over.

There is no happy ending here. This ruins their life together. It's all based on a lie.

What was the purpose in revealing the manipulation in the letter? Worse, why let Jake know that his wife and father were in on the manipulation? Sheer vindictiveness? Stupidity? Of course, a necessary part of the story but certainly begs the question. On the other hand, is Mike really dead or "retiring" to some far off, isolated island?

Great writing, lots of drama and emotions.

Looking forward to qhml1's "Aftermath" story.

Be should immediately dump the lying bitch, his father,and leave the country. He can fly his kids and to help with the manipulators.

5/5 for the story telling. The betrayal, to me is not like infidelity, but instead the victim has to go through the anger and recon of his mind. Ge should no must step back and really decide if he is better off now or did he miss out? Does he agree with Mike's reasoning or feel he missed the like he needed and wanted? On the other hand what Mike did was not to preserve Jake's better life but instead some form of brinkmanship or a one up and not "he is better off as it ended up. One last point....Jake didn't have to end up like Mike as Mike was very flawed emotionally, mentally, ethically and morally. Strong people compartmentalize whereas weak people rationalize. Again a well told tale and TFS.

The fact is that Mike was correct. His job was soul destroying and Greg would never have survived it and remain said. Likely he would have been dead. Those that Greg loved Knew THAT. So, yes, they derailed his "dream" which was a childhood fantasy. They gave him a better life and he should absolutely forgive all those that deceived him. He was too self-centered and was chasing an illusion. What they did was not like "cheating". The did a dishonest thing a greater good. Greg rails against their "betrayal " yet what makes him believe he could deal with really horrible thing his friend did?