All Comments on 'Ms. LeGrand's Favorite Pt. 01'

A good start !

where can i send my 'resume' ? :)

BTW the office address given is short term 'rentals'

......so Todd should approach with caution !!!

Excellent first chapter, I hope there is more to cum.

Silly. I know that these stories are "fantasy" but this was rediculous

Great story!

Very nice premise.

But the sex is awfully rushed. Except for the fact tht he clearly likes her bidy, hw it looks, feels tastes, there's no significant description of it.

She plays with his cock and balls a bit, but there's nothing than really describing what she does, and what either his or her reaction to the playing is.

She shoves a dildo up his ass, but it just gets pushed in, that's all. And, BTW, the past tende of "bear down" is "bore down", not "beared down". She fucks him with it for a while, but there's no asking him if he likes it. Or if he ever had anything up his ass before.

No real playing with is cock to get him 'close' to cumming before having get to work servicing her.

He "finally let loose" and came in her pussy. No significant description of how he ate her or fucked her. How she fucked back. No dialog from her telling him what to do. No slower. No faster. No harder. No softer. No dialog about whether he was enjoying eating/fucking her. She doesn't have him lick her asshole while he's eating her.

There was real potential to this story, but it didnt pan out.

Saying he ate her isn't erotic. Saying he fucked her isn't erotic. It's the DESCRIPTION of those details that potentially is erotic.

Sadly, three stars.

Thanks for your comments. This is my very first story, so I'm still learning.

Emily is deliberately business-like in this scene, since her job is to evaluate Todd's ability to please Ms. LeGrand, not whether or not he is enjoying himself. But I'll put more elaborate description in future stories.