All Comments on 'My Best Friend's Girlfriend Ch. 16'

The author did what I thought she was going to do but hoped she wouldn't: She tried to justify Reyna's actions and excuse them.

As one-dimensional as she is, I'd have more respect for Reyna as a character if she just admitted straight out that she's evil and doing this for her own amusement. But no, apparently it's all okay because June is somehow unworthy, Sarah was too mindfucked to rescue Maria, Carl is guilty of being Scott Summers rather than Logan, and Sarah secretly wanted to be destroyed.

Any excuse to absolve Reyna of her actions and claim that somehow she is the Goddess of Truth, even though she's yet to do anything divine and is the most duplicitous and manipulative character in the story.

It's a real shame as the first few chapters had potential.

The collateral damage cannot be justified by the "releasing" of sleeping Sarah.

Also the prospect of being discarded sooner or later should be terrifying.

I hoped it would take a "positive" direction, but this conclusion feels like evil for evil's sake.

What was the point of it all? Trying to handwave your antagonist's motivations as somehow justifiable doesn't make them justifiable. This ending just feels so unsatisfying, since it was seen from a mile away, but is completely unearned. What the point of the whole struggle if, in the end, no one has developed as a character? Sarah didn't come to some great revelation, she just remained static. This entire story could have been solved in two or three chapters all things considered.

But I don’t get it?

In the end it meant nothing and the trail of abuse and devastation of people’s lives served no purpose to the story. You could have gone with the dream sequence ending and delivered the same result for your readers.

Constructively, you seems to have had this big climactic moment in your head. But when delivering those words to paper something important got lost. The whole paragraph about “electrons and atoms and quarks” read childishly like “lions and tigers and bears oh my”. It felt as if you built this whole chapter just to use that one paragraph. But to drive home the moment of complete surrender and the joy in such surrender, you did not need that fluffy preamble. You held our attention for 15 chapters without silly hyper exaggerations. You had so many opportunities to tell your story the way you wanted without having to change your writing style to deliver the ending. Please in the future stay true to yourself. This was kinda disappointing after all you gave us previously.

Thank you for finishing this and I still look forward to reading your next work.

I stuck with this story because it had potential. I saw some of these chapter endings and thought to myself "What a weird way to end it!" This back and forth "Am I a Godess? Am I a slut?" Didn't matter. What a waste of a perfectly good story idea

While I agree that the antagonist is shallow I don't really get how we as readers are meant to forgive the actions of anyone. Thanks for sharing a truly dark story I just wish that we got richer characters.

So, I loved the story, loved how Anna got some time in this story (since she's my favorite character). Seriously though, do away with the "If I tell you to suck a guys dick, even though I know you're a lesbian and will hate every second of it, you can't say no because it pleases you to do things I want you to do." that's in a sense rape. I like the slow seduction, I can handle some non-con scenes, but I can't stand those types of scenes where they suck a cock just to please their mistress/goddess.

Overall this story was very good. However, you failed to bring proper tension and/or excitement in the climax. It was too straight and, the upsetting action of selling June into slavery wasn't as much dramatic as it could have been. Kind of disappointing.

Well, probably it was disappointing because your story overall was greatly written. And you had built up great expectations. It was far from the amateurish writings we usually find here at literotica. So, overall you did a brilliant job in writing this classic. I will suggest you to put forth more time in your future works in the endings.

Thanks a lot. Was fun reading it.

Hated the ending. Kinda wonder if you couldn’t figure out a way for Sarah to win or what...the last 3 chapters were just sad and felt untrue to the rest.

Well, what can I say? Maybe other than none of the previous comment posters gets it, but who's to say who gets what?

I simply loved your tale from beginning to end. No story ever has to please anyone, or stick to some moral code, or even make us feel good about ourselves. It might coincidentally achieve those, but not as a result of a conscious effort to that end.

I think you had this finale contemplated from the beginning, and it didn’t disappoint, as it followed the fabric of the entire story all throughout its progression. Reyna has unequivocally been herself from the beginning, never wavering once from her direction.

It was also clear that Sarah was a slut (in a broader than the usual sense) suppressed under the weight of human conventions. I think her unconditional surrender at the end was totally consistent with the premise of the entire story. That definitely includes her unflinching betrayal of her best friend at the end, and getting soaking wet in the process…

There is something indescribably primal not only in that betrayal, but also in the sexual stimulation it creates in Sarah at the end. Those go against everything we’re taught as good by the society, and one might argue that what we are taught is desirable in an idealistic sense… But, it’s impossible not to get mentally affected, and not to mention remain unaroused, by the “breaking bad” of a supposedly “good” young woman through forces beyond her body and soul!

Friend of the author or paid shill? I wonder>

@ Tacky Is it so inconceivable that someone can have an opinion contrary to the majority that it has to be either a friend of the author or a paid shill?

The majority could have loved the story, and I could have had the opposite opinion... Would that have made me an enemy of the author, or a paid defamer then?

I find it tragic that people who profess to "read" would look for nothing other than ulterior motive in words that don't conform to the crowd...

I should have stopped reading after chapter 10 and gotten the HEA ending Sarah and June deserved.

I... I must say I'm disappointed. That's an accomplishment. I don't get disappointed over things that are trash. I get disappointed over ones that were almost good and then weren't.

Reyna is the definition of a pure evil villain. She is extremely powerful, her motivations are simple, and she has no concern for the carnage left in her wake. She's like Malificent or the Joker, she does things because she can and that's enough. That is awesome, pure evil villains are fun.

The problem here is that pure evil wins and there seems to be this weird bit at the end that tries to justify Rayna as not pure evil because her victims are happier after they've been abused. That's also not an inherent problem. This is an erotic fiction site and some people are into that. The problem is that we had an unstoppable force just continue to be unstoppable and you drew that out for fifteen chapters.

You have other Reyna stories like Anna's written, it's a one shot for a reason. When you introduce an overwhelmingly powerful villain like Reyna, stretching it out for that amount of time sets expectations that this will be different. That the reason this story is so long is because we're not just seeing another victim get steamroller by Reyna. If that's all the story was ever supposed to be, you could have gone pretty much straight from the first chapter to the last.

Giving us fourteen expertly crafted chapters that build and build the tension of Sarah's survival and freedom only to go "And she's a sex slave just like all the rest" is anticlimactic. It makes the audience go, okay so why did we sit through all of that when we'd get the same payoff from the one chapter story.

You build up really strong characters and relationships over the course of the story and then essentially discarded them in a way that felt unsatisfying. I kept expecting Sarah to come to an epiphany in the final moments as Reyna revealed she didn't force Sarah to do anything where she breaks the control and takes back her choice but it just didn't happen. Now we're left with a massive number of characters that I've come to care about all being trapped in absolutely horrible lives.

This feels like it should have had a "Dead Dove, Do Not Eat" tag at the beginning for an unhappy ending or something.

I'm just disappointed. I was on the edge of my seat for the entire story and the ending provided no relief. It just felt like there were more interesting directions the ending could have gone.

So very disappointing. And I don't even mean that she chose Slut over Goddess. There could have been endings in both cases (or even something in between) that would have been good and fulfilling and living up to the deliciousness present in earlier chapters of this story. But to have there never have been a real contest at all, to have all been predetermined from the start? What an anti-climax, on par with the old "it was all a dream" cliché story endings of old. And all the characters you got us invested in over the course of this wonderful journey? To have them disposed of each in one short sentence? It's unbelievable. It honestly feels like someone else wrote this chapter as compared to the many excellent ones that preceded it. I know endings aren't easy, that many great creators have been unable to satisfactorily live up to all the expectations they so expertly created. But man... what a letdown.

While I absolutely loved poetry and blood, I’m deeply disappointed by the ending of this one. Reyna symbolizes the worst parts of kink for me, and having the abusive sociopath triumph over June and Sarah is absolutely heartbreaking. It fits with what we’ve been told, but christ it’s not satisfying at all. Reyna’s powers are never really expanded on at all, and that’s a pity,

Overall I really really liked this story, but the last 3 or so chapters were depressing as hell.

After the way you deal with Maria it's only going down, bad. First of all the Maria deal was/is disgusting for many reasons... What a lazy and bad way to get Maria away.

Reyna was never well written, but It was ok because the story about Sarah journey and co was more entertaining untile it was not.

The whole BDSM, Dom sub, is badly done too. Funny being the core of the story. But it's very unrealistic even without Reyna power.

So yeah, I don't recommend this story, very disappointed. Or untile at least chapter 11 I think.

(I hoped to not see abuse (or not much), sexual slavery, men and more in this lesbian story but you just can't get away from this shit)

Your other stories follow a theme that evil is palpable, sometimes it even wins, and sometimes the protagonist loses everything and then themselves to it. Reyna is an unstoppable force and in resisting her Sarah lost more and more than she would have just accepting Reyna. The loss of the lovely side characters is tragic, disappointing, in ways I almost love to read. I don't much like men in my lesbian fics, but the references in this last chapter felt more about a certain defilement and obedience than it was about men. Each of your stories has opened me up to liking the idea of a Bad Ending that it feels so wrong but so right.

FYI Maria's transformation at the yoga class reminds me of Em's in Poetry & Blood after a certain gruesome task is required of her. A brutal, nerve-wracking, and hot moment that left me looking inward at my soft spot for physically imposing women.

I have waited until the end of the story to write this review. I should have done the proper thing and reviewed each chapter on its own, however, I was too into the story to “put it down”. When I signed up yesterday, I was searching for mind control stories with a bit of ‘non consent’ play and found this gem. OMG! What an absolute erotic masterpiece! I can wholeheartedly say I have never read anything as poignant or sexually stimulating as this work of sheer brilliance. If I could have given this story 6 stars I would have.

Trixieadara you are the Goddess of erotic writing!!! I wont stop reading anything you write. You have taken my mind and clearly, I am a slut for your erotica.

This complex story revolves around Reyna, a spirited amber-eyed Spanish goddess, exuding a captivating strength that commands attention wherever she goes – but let’s be real: she is evil incarnate. And that evil manifests itself in so many ways some directly and indirectly that creates so many layers to sink our teeth into. She has this unwavering determination and steely willpower which I actually admire, yet are striking as her evil plan unfolds making her a formidable presence to all that surround her. If only she were real. I probably would have a messed-up life (but gods it would be fucking amazing for at least a few months).

What I adore about this story is the mental transformation of a pretty normal friend in Sarah, protective of her best friend who crossed paths with the evil Reyna. I identify with Sarah wanting to shelter my friends from the problems they encounter. I feel like I am always rescuing them – as Sarah starts to before she too succumbs to Reyna. So deliciously evil.

I can’t wait to read more. But for now the weekend is over and I need to get back to real college life.