All Comments on 'My Birthday Present'

but, it always looks uneducated when one uses "Alright" instead of "all right," already.

Wording also seems to indicate that sister's snatch was somehow shaved between his feeling it in the theater and later.

Instead of trying to prove how 'educated' you are by pointing out publically the possible mistakes of others, you could have sent feedback privately to the author if you had really wanted to offer true correction. After all, how much trouble would that have been.

Have a look at an Oxford Dictionary. You will find that "Alright" is an acceptable alternative to "all ready", but some think that is too informal. Nevertheless, we have accepted many other contractions such as "altogether" for a long time.

Lucky guy getting to fuck two hot girls

Hope they fuck more and you add more chapters. Maybe I will read the story again

If this is the way the character spells it, is the author wrong for letting him?

Definitely a very good start to this hot story. A brother who got blown and screwed by his step-sister and her girlfriend Amy. Hopefully, they'll sneak into each other's room and have hot fund plus improve their techniques. Amy will teach them both and get double teamed by Dee and her horny hung brother. Cannot wait for more.

i think cindy needs some encouragement from dee and amy to make up for her little lie and maybe some other friends enjoy too with permission from his step sister and gf.

she looks just like my sister

i get bj frm her all the time

it all started with a blackmail and now we both are addicted

at night i get to eat a pussy and she sometimes squirts

i even suk on the nipples

and finally she even swallows my cum

and licks it off my balls and and her tits

Well done, sex scenes were HOT! Good character formation, believable language, scenes, and action. It was probably late enough at night that most people were watching TV, or in bed, but not paying any attention to the outdoors.

Again, I vote for at least a Ch 2, maybe even 3.

well done and we totally need more chapters and soon!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

Can't even think clearly right now.

very sexy, well written 5 stars!!

Sounds like perfect present.

Can see more being added to this story

i really enjoyed Amy. i thought she was amazingly caring and patient yet horny as hell. i really enjoyed the character development. i mean he seems utterly baffled when his step sister just cleaned him and the room. it was a nice touch. would love to hear more about the 3 of them.

really reaaly good. Why can this never happen to me? lol

Good premise.

Sex happened too fast, though. Every sex scene started abruptly and ended too soon. Needed more foreplay. No kissing? No tongue play? Why?

Needed one or both girls to tell him what to do when he was playng with their pussies. Needed directions about how to find and then treat/tease/manipulate their clits.

Needed longer playing with his cock before moving on to more serious sex. Needed dialog about how he liked it. Needed questions from one or both girls about whether he was close to cumming. Needed slowing down so he didn't cum too soon. That'd have been an appropriate time for him to play with boobs and suck nipples.

In the car he fondled Amy's ass. It was perfect, he said. Why nothing more involving it during the rest of the story?

What did their pussies look like? Shaved? Groomed? Hairy?

Why no playing with his balls?

Four stars.

AMY SPOILT THE STUPID STORY

YOUR USUAL TRAILER PARK TRASH STORY WITH A WEAK WIMP BROTHER, STUPID SISTER AND TOXIC SLUT FRIEND

Begs for a second part - 4*

To anonymous of two months ago, I critique stories as well. I'm never rude, you are an asshole.

Fun read!

This could easily turn into a series of tales... 5stars

Thank you, an excellent story!