All Comments on 'My Brother's Best Friend Ch. 01'

Nice story. Would be perfect if he asks her about protection earlier (or provides it...)

Didn’t care for the tense or POV used in this one.

How it should be! Great story.

Beautifully written. I'll be waiting for chapter 2. I love happy endings and romance.

Imagine sexy Shawn with blonde hair splashed across his chest and abs -- he a sexy young man who loves Kitten -- they can make beautiful sexy music together! Keep them loving and exploring!

Fun story, and deeply passionate.

But there’s no such thing as a 6’5” Olympic gymnast. 5’6”? Far more likely.

Another element of fantasy: An American Olympic gymnast winning a medal! LOL!

Can’t wait for the next installment.

Great, can't wait to read the part 2!

I thoroughly enjoyed your story

Anonymousabout 8 hours ago

How it should be! Great story.

=========> thank you so much friend! I appreciate that. Nothing like sweet, loving sex!

Anonymousabout 8 hours ago

Didn’t care for the tense or POV used in this one.

=========> Hay thanks for checking it out regardless. Could you be a bit less vague? Let me know where you believe I went wrong so I can improve? Thank you!

Anonymousabout 8 hours ago

Nice story. Would be perfect if he asks her about protection earlier (or provides it...)

==========> Thanks so much for reading! You're most likely right about rubbers or something. I suppose Shawn, who just finished 4th year med school and had most definitely covered sexual health, had went over peer reviewed statistical percentages of population groups and sexually transmitted infections. It would be pretty easy to deduce that a virginal, hetero couple participating in vaginal intercourse only was lowest on totem for sti's and went for it. And I explained Feline already being on the pill a year at that point. Noted, though. Thanks.

nice but too instant. Why now? No discussion, build-up, etc.

What a sexy story!

Anonymousabout 4 hours ago

Beautifully written. I'll be waiting for chapter 2. I love happy endings and romance.

========>

WOW! Beautifully even? HOLY CRAP! Uhhhhh thanks????? Thanks so much!!! You'll be super happy cuz I'm juuuust about finished editing chap 2 and I'll be submitting it for review today. It took about 5 days for this one to get approved so....hopefully Wednesday? I don't intend on taking this story anywhere but up into the stratosphere of positivity and love. I mean, of course there's gotta be something somewhere right? some kind of RUH ROH, but between these two: nothing but love and softness.

Anonymousabout 4 hours ago

Imagine sexy Shawn with blonde hair splashed across his chest and abs -- he a sexy young man who loves Kitten -- they can make beautiful sexy music together! Keep them loving and exploring!

========>

Yea, he needs a smattering of hair there doesn't he? I think you're right! Guess I'm editing a bit in the next chapters, add that in there. Thanks for that. ;) Thanks so much for reading and for the comment! I'm really glad you enjoyed. I tried to make him appealing as possible. Super happy that showed through. You'll be smiling because I intend to keep this story really just, positive. I mean, of course, at some point, there has to be SOMETHING that will keep readers reading, but yes, I don't intend on there being anything unloving between these two. The first that most of us never got to have. As much as I love bodice rippers and gnarly bad guys that turn out to be good, I dunno, I just wanted something soft and gentle.

Rapierwit24601

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Thank you Rapier! I was hoping the passion would come through.

Hay, I won't tell anyone if you don't! (about the height thing, I knew I was pushing it there but, well, FUCK IT lol)

I KNEW there'd be ONE of you. ;) ;) The fact guy. That's cool. I'm totally like that too.

Good thing I actually went and did some real studying this last week as I waited for this part to publish. I hope you'll enjoy parts 3 and 4. Which are already written. Which I get more technical with my new knowledge of gymnastics. (Please feel free to come correct at any point. I won't get any better if it's all roses and niceties in the comment section) And also HAY! There's been SOME American winners ok? LOL LOL Funny. Have a good one. I'm just about to submit part 2. Just making sure there's at least no spelling errors. Thanks again!

tomasny

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Thanks Tomas! I'm just finishing the editing of part 2. Just making sure there's at least no spelling errors. But yea, I'm submitting it today. Sooooo hopefully by Wednesday? I think it took 4 or 5 days for this one to get approved.

Anonymousabout 3 hours ago

I thoroughly enjoyed your story

========>

Thank you so much!!!! Man, I'm pumped about all the comments!

Anonymousabout 2 hours ago

nice but too instant. Why now? No discussion, build-up, etc.

=======> It's coming anon, it's coming. :) Just let yourself be tossed into the world and we'll all figure it out together. :) Thanks for reading!

Anonymousabout 17 hours ago

I thoroughly enjoyed your story

=========> Thanks so much Anon!!! Appreciated! I submitted chapter 2 yesterday so, hopefully by wednesday?

Sooner or later brother and buddy Pat will find out. Most are accepting but some jealous for sister love

arrhammerabout 7 hours ago

What a sexy story!

=========> I so appreciate that! You don't even know. Thank you! I'm really glad that what I am thinking in my ol' noggin' seems to be coming across the way I wanted it to! I hope you won't mind that Chap 2 isn't as sexy....but after that....:) :) :D

I've been reading literotica for over 10 years and this is the first comment I've ever left...this is one of the best stories I've seen on here. So sweet, beautifully written. Poetic. Totally loved it. Keep up the great work!

LV4206...great job! Can I call you LV...lol. Can't wait for part #2, if you catch my drift. Thanks for reading my stuff. I truly enjoyed your first posting. Looking forward to many more from you. Cheers, Frankie

What a great first story (for you and them). I loved the description of their deeply heartfelt passion for each other.

Great story. Sometimes the wait turns out well; too often the wait is unfortunate. I like how the characters had a mutual attraction for so long and then they finally spoke their minds and were so ready for each other. The little nuances like the transition for just after her hymen breaks to when her passion starts to grow was a subtle but important transition. I must state that the premise of a 6’5” male gymnast winning a medal in the Olympics was a stretch too far for me to believe.

I look forward to your next chapter or story. I am rather perplexed by how they could enjoy loud and vocal passionate sex on a beach near a peer which was walking distance from a house and then fall asleep on the blanket;. What about her parents not knowing where she was for all of that time. I anticipate that reading the next chapter will tie up most of these loose ends; this cliff-hanger ending leaves me eagerly await ing the next chapter.

Anonymous

Sooner or later brother and buddy Pat will find out. Most are accepting but some jealous for sister love

=========> Mayhaps we'll find out soon?? Thank you for reading!

Frankenstein1962

LV4206...great job! Can I call you LV...lol. Can't wait for part #2, if you catch my drift. Thanks for reading my stuff. I truly enjoyed your first posting. Looking forward to many more from you. Cheers, Frankie

===========> You betcha, call me LV, call me whatever you want, just don't call me late for dinner if you know what I mean! *Badum Tish,* ;) Serious though you saw I had a story and read it?! That's really flattering. Thank you! I hope you'll enjoy part 2. I submitted 4 days ago now. Here's hoping it'll be approved and soon. Again, thanks!!

raucousabout

What a great first story (for you and them). I loved the description of their deeply heartfelt passion for each other.

===========> You're rad?! Thanks so much! I'm so dang happy that what was going down in my imagination is being well received and understood! I'm capable of telling a story? I want this to be over the top but still believable. But I mean, it's a fiction story. I'm gonna mess around with reality a bit. (Shrugs) it's fun! Thank you so much for reading again!

Anonymous

I've been reading literotica for over 10 years and this is the first comment I've ever left...this is one of the best stories I've seen on here. So sweet, beautifully written. Poetic. Totally loved it. Keep up the great work!

============> What does someone even say to a comment like this? I'm really floored. I actually woke up and saw this. You made my day, week, year. The first comment you ever made?!? I'll confide in you. I've been reading here even longer. (I'm not trying to brag sorry if it comes across like that not my intention.) This is the first thing I've ever written that I've shared. With anyone. Ever. Ive been writing for myself my while life. I've never let anyone read anything until this last week. I'm old I figure: fuck it. ;)

Thank you so damn much. Poetic?? I'm poetic?! Get the eff outta here! I'm really honored beyond anything. This comment means the world to me!

Good premise.

Nicely told story. Sweet.

But could have used mote detailed foreplay. Could have used some touching his cock and balls -- after all, this was her first time seeing/handling anyone's -- and enjoying learning how her ministrations brought him pleasure. Could have used more of him playing with her pussy, questioning whether he was doing it right, and following her directions to make her orgasm.

Why wouldn't he bring a condom? He had no idea she was on the pill. Why wouldn't he bring a condom and -- at least start putting it on before she told him he didn't need it?

And you wrote HAY when you meant HEY.

Four stars.

Nice, thanks

Great debut - will be watching out for more

Anonymous

Good premise.

Nicely told story. Sweet.

But could have used mote detailed foreplay. Could have used some touching his cock and balls -- after all, this was her first time seeing/handling anyone's -- and enjoying learning how her ministrations brought him pleasure. Could have used more of him playing with her pussy, questioning whether he was doing it right, and following her directions to make her orgasm.

Why wouldn't he bring a condom? He had no idea she was on the pill. Why wouldn't he bring a condom and -- at least start putting it on before she told him he didn't need it?

And you wrote HAY when you meant HEY.

Four stars.

==========> Hello Anon! Thank you so much stopping by to read! Sweet is definitely what I am going for! Glad that comes across.

Because I plan on going on with the story of Shawn and Feline for some time and I have so many ideas and I have several more chapters written, I didn't want to just "blow my load" you know? In one sex scene. I wanted to be able to expand and expand on their sex scenes. First time sex between two virgins is usually not super adventurous and filled with fumbling and in a hurry. ASK ME HOW I KNOW! Lolol. So I wanted to make it sexy, but I didn't want it too detailed. I wanted it to be somewhat believable. Then I can make the scenes get steamier and steamier as chapters go along, as they learn more about one another and get more adventurous. Dig?

Also, your condom question was answered in chapter 3. :) Hope that helps. THANK YOU for the spelling help. Maybe it's a Canadian thing (I'm Canadian) we spell it Hay instead of Hey. I know hay is for horses (cows eat it too). Maybe it's a me thing. In any case. By chapter 4 I have gone over and fixed all the hay's into hey's. Wow that was convoluted. Thanks for the 4 stars! Appreciated. Have a great day!

AnnaValley11

Great debut - will be watching out for more

===========> Thank you!! I hope you liked chapters 2, 3 and 4 also!

Cal59

Nice, thanks

===========> Thank YOU literotica friend! Appreciated.

A really well written sweet story of teenage love and lust. The description of the lead characters is excellent. And the love making scene is hot without all the hyper description of so many stories. Thank you - looking forward to the rest of the series.

I've read quite a bit of erotica over the years. None as well woven into a story, as yours. It doesn't feel like a sex story, but an erotic love story.

Good beginning!

5

This story flirts with the math of whether she's 18 or 17. Is she 4 years younger or 5? Are they 4 years older or 5?

Can't finish this story.... not worth it.

I like the story. There are a few things an editor should have caught or at least questioned, the reference to Olympic team for example. Compressing all of the action into one evening isn’t necessary and makes the action a bit choppy. Compression also tends to make the characters seem one-dimensional — and that subtracts from emotional impact. It’s a good plot that could become a truly great story.