All Comments on 'My Brown Eyed Girl Pt. 03'

I'd almost forgot MBEG Pt1 , but as soon as I saw Pt 3 in new stories I was right back there. Love the girls and hope there's more yet....

These chapter keep getting better and better.

Thank you for having Melissa initiate the intimacy between them , better i think that way , it being her first time with a women.

Is Jodie going to take the new job? Is Melissa going to go to college?

Will they continue to explore there love for each other? These questions i hope will be answered with more chapters. Yes i greedily want more . The writting is just so damn good , why wouldnt i want more.

Thank you

Jc

The Art Institute of Pittsburgh is calling out to Melissa I do believe.

What a wonderful story that keeps getting better, I cannot wait for each chapter to arrive!

Your ability to create such lifelike characters with depth, wit & intelligence is simply amazing, Shaima. The sexuality was beautiful as was the playful banter. Your ability to craft authentic dialogue just knocks my socks off. What a smart & sensuous read. Am eager for part 4. Gotta go change my panties now, they're soaked.

I am always so happy when I see your moniker on this site. You are one of the very best to publish here. Believe me, I am ever so grateful. Melissa is just adorable and I appreciate that Jodie is so gentle with her. Julie was a surprise. I think she is silently cheering the two of them on. I hope that they take this to Pittsburgh. Once again, my gratitude for your writing is growing with every new story you post.

Very yummy indeed! Thank you!

As with all your stories, Shaima, your characters in this seem so real and human (except for Dog, of course). And I am filled with admiration for the way in which you can set your tales in so many different venues, making them read as authentic and carrying your readers along with you. May there be flocks of low-flying ducks for Melissa to nibble at before this story reaches its conclusion (not too soon, I hope).

Loved your story. My only feedback (hope you find it positive) is to use fewer pronouns. (She, her) it's hard to remember who is doing what. Otherwise, it was a great story.

I really love the way you build the characters, and then slowly build the romance between them. This is an excellent series, and this chapter was well written. Thanks for sharing it with us!

Your story just captivated me. The character development was very good, the storyline was interesting and the romance was sizzling. However, I felt like I was left hanging. Is there a chapter 4? I want to see what happens in Pittsburgh and with her Melissa's career.

I loved this story right up to the point of the love-making. You used the word 'breast' or 'breasts' so many times it got repetitive rather than erotic. How about more imagery and perhaps more about the feelings created in both parties? There was also a confusing paragraph which seemed to imply J had four hands as she had already placed her hands on Melissa's magnificent mammaries but then you introduced another set of hands. Either that or I've read breasts so many times i've lost track of where we are on our sexual navigation! Despite this, I've liked the slow-burn growth of this story and particularly the curious, always cheeky dialogue instigated by Melissa. Not sure I like the dog being in the room. I had a lesbian relationship where my partner of the time doted over her dog and it was in the room as we made love. Worst experience of my life as it clambered on my exposed butt. Didn't put its tongue in my arse but that was a real passion killer!

Great , just really great , was baffled that Jodie didn't break down in laughter with the mini Mel thing... Had me in stitches...wondered if you actually named her so you could fit this remark in...Thank you for sharing your stories and telling them in such a unique way.

Smile ..... Easy going and a total relaxed girly ..... Smile