All Comments on 'My Dad & Uncle Pt. 01: Slave to Uncle Abe'

Good start. Wish there was longer sex scenes and less unbelievable storyline. In one sentance he's separated the next he's divorced. He lives in an apartment building and the bathroom has a huge shower, sauna, and steam room? He's Lebanese and saying chica? Lied is users for lay every time. He's too immature and innocent to know he wants to be a slave just from watching some porn. Spanking, whipping, pissing, deep threat, and virgin ass all in one night? Just automatically no issue took to piss? You can't unhinge your jaw like that. Too many fetishes at once. Introduce one at two a chapter and if Abe really is a true Dom he should be training him in each one before starting the next. Still pretty good start and waiting for the next chapter

Thank you so much for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I agree the story needs editing. This was my first attempt at writing gay erotica, or any story for that matter. I'm quite enjoying the writing and hopefully, it will improve with time. Thanks for pointing out lie vs. lay. My bad. I will correct it in the next chapter.

Yes, the story is unrealistic but as a fantasy, it was meant to be. The same applies for the sex. I do agree, however, that there was so much in one night. But again, it's a fantasy.

Re Abe, the character is of Lebanese descent but he was born and lived in CA and it's common to say chica. As for separated vs. divorced, I should have just said divorced but I always thought they were practically the same.

Once again, thanks for the feedback and I do hope you enjoy the next chapter. I will try to make less unrealistic :)

I really loved your story and your writing. You did have a couple of grammar issues but not so much as to take me out of the story. Compared with the average writing posted here, your’s was a blueprint in English writing skills.

As for the anonymous commenter... your story is your’s to tell. Fantasy or not. Everyone is different. A young man can imprint on things like sexual slavery for a number of reasons and very young... only your character knows where his desires lie. (And his comment’s grammar could use a little work as well.). I liked the way you payed out the story and I definitely did not find it too much. It had plot, layed out wonderful groundwork for your characters, it kept us anticipating what was next, and it hinted at things to come. Not to mention the action was thrilling and porn fueled. I do not give many 5 stars on here, but you earned one from me. I do not even like young characters, but your story was that good!

What an incredible story of discovery and diving deep into a mutually beneficial relationship

I love, love, love the whole story except the foot thing. But I can get past that. The story from the point of view of Josh, the young submissive is awesome.